Thursday, 28 November 2013


Hey everyone, longtime no blog!!!

Today is the first day that I've checked my blog since coming in to treatment
I'm here five weeks today
Where does the time go?
I'm using my room mates iPad so this will be a very quick update

Treatment is every bit as hard as I thought  it would be
I am on bed rest at the moment as I haven't been meeting my weight targets
The good news is I am here and fighting hard
My food intake has increased and the purging has decreased
The bad news is that I haven't had a purge free day since arriving here

Allowing myself to gain weight is proving very difficult
In fact my weight is lower now than it was when I arrived
The other bad news is that if I don't gain weight by next Wednesday i will be discharged
But i will do everything in my power not to let that happen
This all sounds very negative but there have been a lot of positives too
Being here away from home has shown me just how crazy my life was before I came in
I was spending all  my days every day binging and purging
Sometimes up to twenty times a day
Now my purging has decreased to two to three times a day
Still not ideal but a vast improvement

Before I came in here i was incredibly isolated
Now I am on a ward with many others
At first I really struggled and spent a lot of time in my room
But now I am growing in confidence every day
My personality that had been so stifled by my Ed is now starting to emerge
Despite my struggles I am hopeful
Bit by bit I am starting to believe that there is a life beyond this cruel illness

I will update again soon
I hope you are all doing well
Thank you so much for the cards, gifts, emails and texts
They mean more than you know

Until the next time
Take care
Stay strong
And above all else keep fighting

Your friend,

Ruby x



    It's wonderful to hear that you've been fighting and making progress with your eating habits. Your head's obviously in the right place, and I'm really proud of you for sticking it out for this long already. I know you can make a gain by next Wednesday. I know you don't want to lose your last chance at treatment and crash back to where you were 5 weeks ago. You're a fighter Ruby, don't give up.

    I started writing you a card earlier this week, I'll try to get it in the post in the next few days. For now, I love you oodles and oodles and I really hope things keep improving for you.

  2. Glad to hear from you!

    I hope you manage to gain the weight. I'm rooting for you!


  3. Love you Ruby! Always keeping you in my prayers and thoughts<3
    Best wishes for you xx

  4. Hugs Ruby! That's good news in more ways than one (except that you might be discharged too soon if...). I so wish that you can gain some.

  5. Thanks for checking in with your followers, it's great to hear an update from you. Don't get discouraged by what you haven't done, focus on the progress you've made and keep going! All the best to you Ruby :)

  6. Ruby!
    Omg.. I am so glad you updated us.. and I am grateful for your honesty. It is good to hear that you are finding yourself again and i really hope you dont get discharged when you are making progress, putting on weight is hard it really is, and I wish you all the luck in the world. I know you have the strength to continue on this journey and take the most that you can from it. I love you always and look forward to hearing from you again.

    Lots of love x

  7. This just popped into my inbox and made my day, absolutely, to hear from you on here. Love you loads Ruby, please, please do what you can by Wednesday. I believe in you, and am praying for you, sending you all the strength I can spare to muster for you not to be discharged. Focus on the positives, you're doing unbelievably amazingly well and I am so proud of you lovely!
    Big warm hugs <3

  8. I'm grateful that you are still working hard and not purging as much... I really hope you can gain some weight Ruby.... I don't think you're ready to be discharged yet.... You can do it... I have faith in you ;-)

  9. Ruby you can beat ED into submission. Take back your life! You are worth it! Yes it is horribly horribly hard but please keep fighting. It is not about weight it is about the value of your life. Please value your life and all you can do.


    Five weeks?!? IS THAT ALL??? It feels like five YEARS D:

    *Snugglehugs* Spewing was so much a part of your daily routine that cutting it out overnight is an unrealistic expectation. I'm so stoaked that you have managed to cut it back. Them steps add up, you know!

    Fuck, have you gone hypermetabolic or something? SHIIIIT I hope you can convince your body to rebuild a few things and get some mass. You can't exactly throw your weight around if your body thinks we're running on moon gravity. (Yes I'm making no sense. Happens every NaNoWriMo, you'll get used to it :p)

    HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS AN IMPROVEMENT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS. You have no idea. It's like being a pack a day smoker and going down to 2-3 smokes a day. PERSPECTIVE, RUBY.

    I'm so so so so so so so sorry I haven't emailed you yet. I swore I was going to before NaNo and than I didn't, I'm so sorry *grovels and begs*

    Love you so incredibly much. There is life outside of this hell. You can find yours.

    Arohanui <3

  11. I hardly get on here any more and haven't blogged for ages myself.
    I am so so happy for you. You're doing brilliantly. Keep the fight. You WILL come out on top. xx

  12. Hey Hun, so good to gear from you! Sorry things are hard, bless you! When I was in treatment we had to wait an hour before using the loos or going to rooms after meals, and some people depending on care plans were on full toilet supervision. Do they not do that where you are? It may help the purging to stop p. I hope you can let go by Wednesday just a little bit and be honest with your team, your life is worth the honesty. Xxxx


Thank you for leaving some love x