Monday, 28 April 2014

Calling all readers!

This blog gets quite a lot of hits everyday
A lot of people seem to read
However only a tiny percentage of these readers leave a comment
I do know quite a few of you that read and comment
But there must so many that I don't know
I received a comment recently from a reader from the Netherlands
She stated that she had been reading for some time but it was her first time to comment
I just love getting comments like this
It blows my mind to think that there are people all over the world reading my words and leaving words of hope and love
Comments truly make my day
I think what we have here is unique
We have a community where we are heard
Where we feel safe to be ourselves without fear of judgement
Where we can share our darkest secrets
Where everyone is welcomed with open arms
Where there is no shame
That is rare these days

So I wanted to invite you today to introduce yourself
I you have been reading for a while and never commented before
If you have been reading from the start
If you drop by from time to time
If you have addiction, disordered eating or mental health issues
If you are curious
If you don't like my blog
If you can relate
If you are feeling hopeless
Or hopeful
Whether you are ill or in recovery
If you are afraid
If you have a blog about similar or different issues
I would love to hear from you
I would love to know why you read
Do you like this blog?
Or do you disagree with what I write about?
I am so interested to find out
Looking forward to meeting you.........


  1. Well I am a reader from Bosnia (if you know where that is) but used to live in Germany and I've been reading your blog I think for about a year or so, I didn't want to make a blogger profile and that's the only reason I never commented, but I see that now you can just comment without having a profile. I am almost the same age as you (29y.) struggling with both restricting and binging/purging so its always nice to read what other people experience with this lifestyle. Your blog is interesting, I like the style of your writing, its easy to read, and I like your pictures, it's like we get a glimpse into your life..I even consider making a blog myself, I am not sure whether I will or not. Does blogging help you coping with situations? And I promise I will now comment as I know I can "anonymously" write a few words. Emi

    1. Hey there,

      Oh you live in Bosnia, I was In Croatia a few years ago on holiday
      We went on a day trip to Dubrovnik and I remember when stopped in Bosnia
      It was truly beautiful!

      Thank you so much or reading and commenting
      I am sorry to read that you are struggling with food in the same way that I am
      It's no life at all
      And yes, I do think that blogging helps
      I find writing really helps me clear my head and make sense of things
      It's always good to get an opinion from other readers
      So yes, I would recommend writing a blog

      Thanks again for reading

      Take care x

  2. I've only been reading for a few weeks, but I think you're a great writer. I am really bad about reading blogs and never commenting, but I thought I would comment since I always liked getting comments.

    I used to use a different site for an online journal/blog (Xanga) but it closed, and I've only recently started a blog on here. I find it helpful to read other people's storage because it makes me feel less alone in my struggles.

    I'm a 27 year old recovering bulimic (bulimia started 7 years ago) and an alcoholic (started 3 years ago). I also have clinical depression (diagnosed 12 years ago).

    1. Hello there,

      Wow it seems that we have a lot in common what with having an eating disorder and addiction problems
      They both seem to come from the same place I think
      Are you sober now?
      I really hope so
      It is a living hell to live that way

      I'm going to check out your blog now
      Thank you so much for reading

      Much love x

  3. I've been reading for a while, I am always interested in blogs that discuss the difficulties of living. Few blogs seem to open up and actually discuss their lives. Those are the ones that make us feel less alone. No one is perfect but people are good about hiding it.

  4. Hey. thanks for reading
    Sometimes I wonder if I am too open about my life here on blogger
    But it's the only way that I know how to be
    And it's probably the only place that I am 100% honest x

  5. So, the Dutch one is probably me. I needed to read a blog about ED en life's other problems that wasn't written like we are victims of the big bad world. I need to read about strength and hope. So... there you were.
    I am sort of a basket case of problems, but try not the let them defeat me, nor let them make me the problem. I háve some things and I don't like it when people seem to think they define me.
    I have PTSD (trauma) and as a result of that DIS (which you might know as multiple personality disorder). So, my ED, selfharmissues and all of that shit are just sort of symptoms of the bigger issue.
    Well, I'm also me, I like writing, I like tattoo's, I love animals and the ocean.
    Should you want to, I'll translate the pieces on my blog...

    Thank you, for writing, for being kind, for showing the world you're a person with some issues but not the issue itself. Thank you for being you, dear sweet Ruby.

    1. Hello again!

      Yes that was you that I mentioned
      You kind of inspired this post!

      So many of us seem to have more than one condition
      And they are all interlinked
      I know that my ed and addiction, anxiety and depression are all coming from the same place
      They are symptoms of a greater problem
      Is is the same for you?

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting

      Take care and talk soon x

  6. ive been reading your blog for awhile, due to its honesty, openness. life with an ed is difficult, hard, enduring. ive had times where ed is quiet but its followed me around for over 20 years now. for me I think it will always be there, its my coping technique when times are hard. I too have a dog, a small terrier which keeps me company most of the time. ive had treatment at the maudsley, become part of a research programme there too, hoping one day they will find the answers. thanks for being so honest and true to whats its really like. em. x

    1. Hey there!

      Oh you have a little dog too!
      Honestly my dogs have saved my life over and over again
      I would be lost without them

      Did you find your treatment good?
      I hope so

      Thanks for supporting me

      Much love x

    2. the treatment at the maudsley was difficult. i think because it was focused on weight, i felt like i had to keep my weight low. ive heard this before from others with eds. after 6 months i was none the wiser. although because i agreed to be in the research programme i found out some other stuff about myself. i have autistic traits, i never viewed myself in this way before, yet it makes sense with having continued anxiety.

      then 3 years after treatment i signed up for 1 year of psychotherapy. although the therapist new about my ed, we never focused on it. talking about my life, from childhood till present. once a week i would attend, missing only 1 session. i would say this has changed outlook on the world. im not cured, im still anxious, still have ed. yet my perspective has changed, i realised why im like i am, my behaviour etc. im so glad i went.

      and my dog has helped me so much too!!! rose is such a little sweetheart.

      good luck with your future, and happy 2nd blogging birthday. x

  7. I don't have an ED or addiction problem, I have schizophrenia and depression. I feel like I can relate to the general feeling of stigma and struggles with any kind of psychiatric problem. And it helps that I love your writing style :).

    1. Hello!

      Thank you!
      Yes, I think mental health issues can be similar whatever they may be
      I hope you are on the road to recovery
      Keep fighting and much love x

  8. Hey there :-)

    I am a 25 year old girl from Germany and i have been following your blog for at least a year i think.I am suffering from disordered eating since forever really.I am currently in psychotherapy but i can't really say i am fully on my way to recovery yet. I found your blog through someone's blogroll. To be honest with you at first i was shocked about what you wrote, especially about your past of heroin abuse.I Thought that makes us very different and that i probably can't take much out of your blog. I can tell you I was soooo wrong.And there is a reason I stuck with reading your blog.I love the way you write, you seem so honest and even though you might be struggeling with the thought of recovery or really trying it i feel like the overall vibe is very much towards recovery and positive for me.What makes this blog very special to me is that you share so much about yourself and seem so open and honest.That is very brave of you and i apreciate that. You also helped me to get a more understanding view about drug addictions and the people suffering from them. The way you write makes me want you to fight for a better life.Even with all your struggles your blog offers hope.

    Ha, that must be so weird to read a message like this from a stranger really^^

    Take care and greetings from rainy Germany :-)

    1. Hello from Ireland!

      Thank you for supporting this blog
      It's great to know that you can relate although I am sorry that you are going through this too
      What is treatment like in Germany?
      Do they use the mandometer technique there?

      Yes I suppose my writing can be a bit shocking at first
      Over time I have I started to be more and more honest
      But I am glad tha t you want to fight for a better life
      I do too

      You take care too from sunny Ireland x

  9. I'm a regular. :) It's been over a year and a half now that I created mine and followed yours so I'm a familiar face. I appreciate your honest writing style as that's how I try to write as well. lots of love Ruby.

    1. Hey Eve, of course I know you, I think we started writing around the same time, in fact my blog is two years old tomorrow

      Thanks for for continued support Eve, it means a lot x

  10. My name is Diana, and I am a 15 year old girl from New Zealand. I've been reading this blog for a few months. I don't have an ed, but I've had depression on and off for the last year or so. I don't have a blog on here but I do on another site. Praying for you on the other side of the world :-)

    1. Hello Diana, so nice to meet you

      Thank you for reading all the way from New Zealand
      I would love to check out your blog if you want to share it

      Sending love your way x

    2. My blog thingy is Feel free to check it out, I post every so often. Its kinda random :-)

  11. Hi Ruby :) I'm Kate. I'm from Oregon, and I've commented a few times on here, but never introduced myself properly. I have my own eating disorder/life/randomness blog, and I really like your blog. I'm starting this new crazy journey of eating disorders + pregnancy. Scary sh*t! Your blog is so helpful because you are so honest. I can totally relate to you!!! xoxoxo

    1. Hey Kate, yes I remember you
      I must check out your blog, I am always looking for new blogs to follow

      Thank you for reading and supporting this blog

      Much love Kate x

  12. Hi Ruby,

    I love your blog!! I've been following for a while and am the person who suggested that you rename your blog 'And then she reappeared' when you were trying to think of a new name, remember? I'm 22 and live in England. I can't remember how I found your blog - probably on someone else's blogroll?

    I have an ED (been struggling for years but only recently 'diagnosed', although I'm trying not to define and label myself with this) and have been suffering from clinical depression for a while now. I like that I can read your blog and think 'Yes! I feel that too!'

    1. Hey there,

      Yes, I do remember you suggesting that name! And what a great name it is
      I have definitely kept it in mind

      Sorry to read that you are struggling too, it seems that there are so many of us out there
      I'm glad but sorry that you can relate to me
      I know what a living hell it is to live this way

      I do have hope for us though
      And some day all this will be a distant memory

      Thank you for reading and commenting

      Take care of you x

  13. Hello Ruby! My name is Amy and I'm from England. I started reading your blog maybe 2 years ago when I was in the middle of my own eating disorder. My ED was very secret and I needed something to help me vent my feelings; reading blogs has really helped. I'm recovered now and studying psychology at uni - hopefully I can be a 'Mary' to someone one day!
    Your blog is beautifully written; you're so insightful and honest, it's a real talent. I still check in to see how you're getting along - there must be so many others like me who are rooting for you without you even knowing! Sending much love to you x

    1. Hey Amy, so lovely to meet you!

      Oh I am so glad to read that you have battled this illness and come out the other side, that truly gives me hope and faith
      And yes, the world needs lots more Marys
      I'm sure with your first hand experience you will make a really empathetic counsellor

      Thank you for reading and hope you comment again

      Good luck with uni x

  14. I'm a 25-year-old from England. I found your blog when was posted on Tumblr with a link to your blog and I thought it was such a powerful piece of writing. I started 'following' on Google so read all your posts. I haven't been reading from the start, maybe a few months, but I'm a bit of a stalker and 'back-read' a bit (I do this with lots of new blogs I find). I don't have addiction issues, but I think sometimes the binge element of my ED (the main part of it, even though diagnosis is anorexia... something we have in common?) comes under that category?! I have some other MH probs too. I like your blog. I feel you don't try and be anything other than yourself. You don't even write in a standard way! But I mean you're not eating Nakd bars or whatever, TRYING to fit into the 'blogging community'. Does that make any sense? I read because I feel I can really relate to you a lot, but, then, yes, it's odd that I've never introduced myself! MH crap aside, I love walking my dog on the beach too. That is life to me, things like that keep me going. I guess you can check my blog (or whatever it is?!) out if you want to know more (link should show up... I never normally make comments in BlogSpot), though I think this introduction is probably tedious enough :-P I hope you keep the blog up as you express yourself very well. Take care.

    1. Hello there,

      Gosh, I didn't know that that was posted on Tumblr but I guess that's a good thing
      When I started writing this blog I really was trying to fit in but I was never comfortable with encouraging weight loss and it was something that never sat right with me
      So I just write my own way
      Do my own thing

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting, it means a lot to me x

  15. Hello, I am a 21 year old from Cincinnati and I stop in from time to time to see what you're up to now and then. I enjoy your blog posts because you have the ability to infuse your writing with so much wisdom just from relating your own experiences, your struggles, and your thoughts. You are a very eloquent writer, and I appreciate your willingness to put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable.
    Sorry I've been such a ghost reader and have never commented before.
    And I enjoy the pictures as well. Sometimes they make me wish I had a dog.
    Have a wonderful day!

    1. Hey there, welcome!

      Gosh thank you, I don't know about eloquent but I try my best and thank you for the compliment
      I hope now that you've introduced yourself that you will comment again
      Do you have blog?

      You too, and thank you x

  16. Hi Ruby, I've been reading for some time now and I find we have a lot of similarities. We're a similar age (I'm 30) and have struggle with an ED for 11 years. I can identify with a lot of things you write about such as the extent of your b/p (i too have a path worn between the kitchen and the bathroom.) I've struggled with shoplifting food (which thankfully is no more after a shameful encounter with the police) and have had multiple admissions in IP. I still hope that one day i will be free from this but I can't remember my life before my eating disorder and its a scary thought finding myself at the age of 30 when society tells me i should be settling down. I have hope for you too, that one day you will beat this. Much love xx

    1. Hey, so glad to meet a reader that is the same age as me
      Sometimes I feel like I am so much older than everyone here
      I still feel 16 though!

      Yes, shoplifting is a horrible part of this illness, I hate it so much but sometimes I cant stop myself
      I am glad that you have managed to stop though

      Thank you for reading and much love right back atcha x

  17. Hi,
    I've been reading for a few months now; I used to keep a secret livejournal account when I was in the thick of my ed and deleted it and stopped with any online ed activity when I "recovered". I realise now that my recovery was just...ah it's boring and convoluted but fair to say I've pretty much travelled the spectrum of ed behaviours and diagnoses.
    I'm back reading because I'm struggling and reading smart eloquent people like you helps. I'm 30 live in England and on paper I'm doing great. I don't comment and I won't set up and account because I'm scared. Scared of someone recognising me, scared of slipping more than I already am. Scared that maybe I'm a fraud. Scared of giving my ed voice any more opportunities to shout loud.
    You know how it goes :)

    1. Hello again C! (Are you the same C that has commented before?)

      I think it's a smart move not to give your ed voice any more chances to shout out
      Sometimes I wonder if all this writing about my own is really feeding in to it
      But I feel drawn back to this blog again and again
      I think knowing we are not alone helps though
      Even if we read and never comment

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting

      Much love x

    2. Howdy, yup it's the same me.
      It's understandable you'd be drawn back here; it's an opportunity to talk about the thing that's on your mind most. And more than that, to talk and be heard by people who understand.
      Hope you're doing okay darling

  18. Hey Ruby! This was a great idea and am considering borrowing it for my blog..I too wonder about who is reading all the gory details of my life! I am 23 from the US and have struggled with anorexia on and off for about 10 years now. I love how honest you are on your blog and am always rooting for you! —Kaylee

    1. Hey Kaylee,

      You know I always read your blog but I am not great at commenting at the moment
      I am rooting for you too!
      All the way!

      Keep fighting x

  19. Hi.. I have been reading for a few weeks now and decided that your post about wanting readers to comment meant it was time for me to do so. I have been thinking about starting my own blog, but dont know where to start. I have been struggling with my own ed for about two years now and it has been a very up and down journey. I can relate to some of what you say which helps me, as sometimes I feel like I am the only one dealing with this. I started reading your blog a few weeks ago when I made some drastic changes to my life to really focus on my health and recovery. I know it will be a long journey, but that I will recover. I'm cheering for you and wish you the best in your recovery. Remember no matter how hard the day, there are always people out there who want you to succeed.

  20. Hello from the bottom of the world!

    You still keen to hang out in November?

    Love you <3

  21. I'm adding my name to join the party. I have a young daughter and live in the Philly burbs. I cannot remember how I stumbled on to your blog but I've been an obsessive reader ever since. My favorite post has to be the letter from your mother, and have cried for you more times that I care to admit. I pray for you regularly but mostly project the most wonderful future for you.


Thank you for leaving some love x