Friday, 23 May 2014

Medication Mondays! Guest post by Ruby's Mum

Hi, I'm Ruby's Mum. She has asked me to write a post for her blog this week. Here goes!

Mondays is the subject I've chosen to write about. I've chosen to write about Mondays for a number of reasons, the main one being that it's the day that Ruby gets her medication.

Monday morning I like. I don't work so I drive in to town with Ruby and the dogs. Usually she hasn't slept well on Sunday night. Anticipation? Excitement? Restlessness? Anxiety? It could be due to any or all of the above. While she visits the doctor and pharmacist I take Lea and Honey for a walk on the beach. This I enjoy. I love watching the dogs uninhibited delight as they rub, bound and jump on the strand. Lea usually has a good swim. They just fling themselves at Ruby when she meets us. Such unconditional love and loyalty!

Ruby usually tells me how she has got on with the doctor. Often they seem to discuss matters totally unrelated to her 'chronic conditions' which is refreshing. She can be entertaining and engaging company, interesting and interested. She's also direct, honest and intelligent. Anyway she has her cocktail of meds so she's happy and content.

We arrive home, have tea. Suddenly I notice her eyes begin to droop. No! Please let it be just tiredness, not the meds. I hope and pray. But unfortunately she overtakes her medication. She falls asleep wherever she happens to be. Whether it's sitting at the computer or watching tv. The most worrying aspect of this scenario is that frequently, she has a cigarette in her hand. The rug in front of the fireplace is scored with burn marks. I she has a newspaper in front of her, that becomes pock-marked with holes. I become consumed with anxiety. I waken her, encourage her to lie down. But she insists on making more tea which inevitably gets spilt on the same poor rug. She becomes a different person, a person whose a danger to herself and a person with whom I can't reason.

So I begin to feel desperate. What should I do? How do I handle this situation? Do I ignore it and hope for the best? I don't know. Lately I have talked to her about how it makes me feel to see her like this. I'm reminded of her heroin using days and it makes me feel desperately sad and helpless. It makes me feel I'm losing control. It makes me grieve.

And at last I think, I hope that she's beginning to use her meds correctly. Last Monday was a good Monday. Ruby didn't lose her lovely bright personality. She was the Ruby I know and love so well. Please let it last.

4 comments:

  1. I am a new mom (my son is 1,5 years old today) - and I can not imagine what you go through as her mom. The person who you gave life to becoming a danger to her self, being a different from what she usually is.. The worry you must feel (will the worry ever stop??)...

    I love Ruby and her blog, the way she writes, the way she engages and makes others feel supported and I wish she would give some of the love and support she gives others to her self.

    Being the same age as Ruby is, and never having a relationship with my mother I have a hard time giving any proper advice, but the one thing that comes to my mind would be that you were left in charge of the meds.

    Maybe you could get a locked safe, get the meds and lock them away.. And only giving her the dose for the day. Maybe the doctor would co-operate and let you be the one and the only that can pick up the meds too.. I am sure that Ruby will hate this, but is a mother to do?? All we want is for our kids to be happy, and we have to do everything we can to help them get there, and hope that they will let us help them...

    You will be in my prayers.. Love, Kitty

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Kitty
      Enjoy every minute with your little boy, the years go by too fast

      Love Ruby's Mum x

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  2. This would be hard for a mom to see... my oldest tested me a little but basically she was a good girl.. I hope my youngest doesn't follow the pack.. Unfortunately I was the weak one at times.. for a number of reasons.

    I understand how sad and scary it would be.. I hope there are more good Mondays to come too :)

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  3. Perhaps, Ruby, you should not be in charge of your own medication? I had taken all my meds at once on more than one occasion, so my mother took control and dispensed all my meds to me. I'm sure this might be something your mother would agree to. What do you think?

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