Saturday, 31 May 2014


Summer is most definitely here
The weather is heating up
The are lobster red bodies everywhere
And all my family are on holidays (A lot of them work in schools)

I don't usually like them summer
I prefer autumn and winter
I hate having to get my arms and legs out
Hate feeling hot and sweaty
I love the snow and the frost
I love wrapping up
Curling up in front of the fire
I always thought that summer was for happy people
And for the longest time I wasn't a happy person
I was the exact opposite
Winter suited my mood
The long dark days
And I do love Christmas
Whatever mood I am in Christmas always gets me
The lights
The music
The atmosphere
I can't get enough of it

So what's on the agenda this summer Ruby?
Well, come a little closer and I'll tell you
The first exciting piece of newa is that my sister is coming home from Australia at the start of July
Those of you reading a long time will remember her being here summer 2012
And of course my trip to see her Christmas 2012
I can't wait
The thing about my sister is that I can be my bat shit crazy self around her and she doesn't bat an eye lid
In fact she is just as crazy
If not more so than me
So that's something to look forward to

What else?
Well this week my mother and I booked a trip to London in August
For 2 weeks
I was a bit apprehensive at first as 2 weeks is a long time to be away
And as you already know having an ED is someone elses house is a lot of work
Frankly it's a pain in the rectum
But what else will I be doing?
So I'm going
And that's that

Usually when I have a trip planned my ED goes in to overdrive
Have to lose weight
Have to be skinny
Have to be tiny
The trip is like a deadline
I have to lose as much weight as possible by then
And of course it was the first thing that popped in to my head after we booked the tickets
But you know what?
I'm not going to
I'm not going to kill myself
Starve myself
Deny myself
All in the hope that I will be thinner than everyone else

As I said earlier I hate getting my arms and legs out
So I've had to come up with a plan B
What will make me feel more comfortable with my body this summer?
My first thought was to get a tan
A tan forgives a multitude of sins
So I booked time in a sun shower
I went for my first one yesterday and I think I stayed on too long because now I have a big red belly
So get a tan is strategy no. 1

Strategy no. 2?
Have nice clothes to wear
So I went and raided my wardrobe to find some nice clothes to wear
An hour later I had found 6 pairs of comfortable yet fashionable leggings
And 7 acceptable dresses
Plus two pairs of light shoes (I don't do sandals, the world is not ready for my horrible feet)
So after all that I feel a bit better about facing in to the summer season

I haven't weighed myself in nearly two weeks
I just don't want my happy bubble burst
Everyone around me including my friends insist that I am still tiny and I haven't put on weight
But I have
I know I have
Maybe it doesn't show yet because it has all gone to my stomach
But it will
Have no fear it eventually will

What are your plans for the summer?
Are you like me and dread the thought of exposing skin?


  1. "I'm not going to
    I'm not going to kill myself
    Starve myself
    Deny myself"

    i love this. this is my favourite.

    i'm glad you haven't weighed yourself in nearly two weeks. continue on that way, Ruby. you can do this. and i'm very happy to read this post. it made me smile all the way back home (i'm in my car with my phone acting as my internet supply tehehe).

    i can't actually expose skin as per religion. it could be 40 degrees Celsius outside, but i have to be fully covered!

    -Sam Lupin

  2. I am not a summer person. Fall and winter, those are my seasons. The more clothes the better.

    I don't tan, I burn to a crisp. I am a pale half-Finn. The rest of my family are too, but they tan. My sister turns into a golden brown goddess.

    You have to be thin and pretty to enjoy summer.

  3. You said it all when you said summer is for happy people and I am absolutely ready to be happy after a long, dark winter. I live in a state where it starts to cool down about October and by November it's jeans and sweaters. In December you have a winter coat and just when you think you can't take it anymore January and February hit with bitter cold and layers. You all but want to die by the time April comes and if it's like this year, spring was taking it's sweet time and you start to get angry. Even if I'm feeling fat there's nothing better than a sundress, sandals, and a good book on my front steps. I adore summer and all the magic that comes with it. I feel so alive and free and happy. Winter brings seasonal depression and I'm not one that likes to sit in my own misery and I am always grateful for the relief. It's always a learning time for me as well and I make some of my best strides in personal growth when it rolls around. Can you tell I love summer? :)
    I'm so jealous that you get to travel to London! Eeeek! It's probabaly a bigger deal to me because you can't hop countries in America, not as easily anyway. Embrace your body and everything that makes you a woman. Let the sun hit you, go for an evening walk with your dogs, eat some ice cream and read. Think about what you love and what makes you happy and run at it. You are beautiful and you shouldn't hide that.

    I actually have summer plans this year! Besides being a workaholic with two jobs, I'm going to see my boyfriend in Phoenix next Sunday and will be there for ten days band then two weeks later my grandparents and I are going to North Carolina to see some family and do fun things. One of my friends I met here on Blogger is driving up as she's become one of my best friends. After that it's work and maybe, if I can make it work, I'll see my boyfriend for his birthday. Then I'm in two weddings and I need to get a loan for school and I'll go to the gym and lift.

  4. I live in the southeastern US,'s hot. Like, 90 degrees kind of hot on most days. (32 C). So skin exposure is necessary. My plans are just to prepare for Paris at the end of the month. Four weeks in a foreign country is probably the most exciting/terrifying thing I've ever done. It's going to be hard. London sounds so exciting, I'm trying to figure out a way to go there for a weekend while I'm in Europe. Ha, there are so many people than live in the UK on Blogger, I'm sure I could connect with someone. Oh, good luck tanning and not burning. The Irishness in me makes tanning impossible.


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