Tuesday 2 September 2014

Checking out, for today anyway

Anyone who read the post that I just posted and promptly deleted
Will know that my head is officially up my ass
But it's not as bad as you think
It's just the back lash from weighing myself
In spite of what you may think
I am ok
No really I am
My last post was a lapse in judgment
I wasn't really thinking when I posted it
And in hindsight it wasn't a good idea
Forgive me
As I said
My head is up my ass

I just wish that my head would settle
I wish that stupid freakin' number would erase itself from my memory
As regards food
I got through yesterday without purging
But last night my sister told me that I didn't eat nearly enough
I'm trying though
I am trying
I guess this is all part and parcel of the weight re-gaining process
It's normal what I'm going through
Isn't it?

12 comments:

  1. It is.
    So mind over matter.
    No number can define you, if you don't let it....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really feel really silly for posting that last post
      I don't know what I was thinking
      And I hope I didn't trigger anyone

      I am ok
      I just need a bit of time to adjust x

      Delete
  2. Actually, you're not okay...
    But you will be....

    Take all the time you need.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You know that addiction isn't something to just shrug off and ED is an addiction. It doesn't stop just because you want to be *normal*. It's ongoi9ng work and relapses, well, they want to appear. That's what one has to be prepared for and understand that it's there just to trip you up. The thing is to see it for what it is and don't fall into that trap again. Your sister seems to be rather level-headed; talk to her when you feel yourself slipping. I think that would help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is CP
      She has her own worries
      But she is full of common sense x

      Delete
  4. I'm kind of curious now...
    But I'm glad you're feeling ok now... Sometimes we just have to give in to something unhealthy. If you're talking about the weigh in, there are much worse things you could have done, so I hope that satisfied your urge for behaviors.
    Congrats on yesterday without purging!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh sweetie, I didn't read the post, but know that this is all normal. Weight retaining is SOOO hard. Trust me, I know. I don't know what your scale said, but I can promise you that it's not as bad as you may think. Your sister cares and wants you to get better, but she should understand that it's not easy. I'm praying for you sweetheart.
    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  6. Replies
    1. That is very inconsiderate and insensitive of you. Fuck off. She's in recovery from a fucking eating disorder, you little shit.

      Delete
    2. This person has been repetitively reported to google, because of the inhuman content of his blog.his blog was taken offline but is back again. please continue to report this person! his is a violent misogynist and this is where violence starts. please continue to report this person to google!!!!

      Delete
  7. Just wishing you a better day.....

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for leaving some love x