Monday, 22 September 2014

Update on the story

As I wrote on Friday
A journalist contacted me through my blog
She is interested in doing a story on me
After a few emails back and forth
I gave her my number
And she rang me for a chat
We spoke for some time
And she asked me some questions about my addiction and eating disorder
I was quite open and gave away a lot of information
Then over the weekend I panicked a bit
Panicked that I had given too much away
Without asking her enough questions about the article she was going to write
I suddenly became very anxious
I sent the journalist a couple of emails to ask some questions
Then panicked even more when I didn't hear back from her
So I sent her a firm but polite email stating that I did not want anything published without my say so
I didn't hear anything back from her all weekend
But I felt a bit better knowing that I had said my piece

Then first thing this morning
I had an email from the journalist
She apologized that she had been away from her desk all weekend
And so only got my emails this morning
She wrote that she would definitely not publish anything without my permission
And asked if I had any concerns
I wanted to know what kind of publications she writes
She told me that she writes for a variety of newspapers and magazines
And that the angle she wanted to take on my story was my dogs
And how much they have helped me in my recovery
I have to admit that I liked the sound of that
As you know my dogs are a huge part of my life
I got them when I first moved to this area 9 years ago
And they have been by my side ever since
They have been through so much with me
And I honestly don't know if I would have got well without them

I think this angle is really interesting
We all know that dogs are super intelligent
Guide dogs
And disability dogs
Police dogs
And rescue dogs
But they are also great companions
And they positive medical effects of having a dog have been proven
Recently I saw a show on tv about dogs that helped during 9/ll
The police and fire fighters used dogs to find bodies in the rubble
It was fascinating because the dogs used to get depressed if they could find people
So the fire fighters used to hide and let the dogs find them
I find that so amazing

My dogs are my bestfriends
I literally spend all day with them
We get up in the morning
And I bring them to wake up my sister and my mother
Then we head off in the car
To the beach
Or the lake
They are so good that I don't even have to put them on a lead
They just trot beside me
Then we come home and  I blog
And they have a treat before taking a nap
Honey sits on her chair
And Lea like to sleep in the car
Then they have their dinner which they love
They might potter around the garden for a while
And then I maybe take them out again in the evening

In darkest days they were such a comfort
When I couldn't find a reason to get up in the morning
I got up for them
When I just wanted to hide in my house
I left to walk them
I couldn't imagine life without them

When I went in to hospital this time last year
They took it very hard
Mum didn't tell me at the time as she didn't want to worry me
But Lea became quite depressed
She spent a lot of time in her bed
And her fur began to fall out
So much that she had a huge bald patch on her back
My Dad brought her to the vet
They took blood tests
But they came back normal
All other tests were normal too
And they couldn't find medical explanation as to why it was falling out
This continued all the while I was in hospital
And Lea continued to be down

When I came home from hospital in February
Lea's mood began to pick up
Although her fur had stopped falling out
It wasn't growing back either
Then in April things began to look up for me
My mood improved
Amy anxiety
And of course I gained weight
Then an amazing thing happened
Bit by bit Lea's fur began to grow  back
And she was back to her usual self
I was delighted
So happy that she was getting well
And I have no doubt in my mind that she began to get well when I did

I asked my vet recently of this could have been the cause of her fur loss
The stress of me being unwell and away so much
She said that if Lea was stressed
She would have been producing a lot of the hormone cortisol
And that could have been the reason for her fur loss
I just find that so amazing
It was almost like she was unwell in sympathy with me
She is a very sensitive dog
So it makes perfect sense

The journalist is ringing me again today
To talk about the next step
I am still unsure if I am going to proceed with the story
So I guess I will keep my options open........


  1. Why don't you trust yourself regarding writing your own story? Might take a little longer but the reward would be sooooo much greater dont you think?

    1. Ok reading emily's comment, i have to admit that i did not think of the celebrity part at all. ;-) (maybe because to me this would not be what i want BUT this does not mean by no means it might not be right/good/ok for you)

    2. I don't Lilly
      I am undecided
      I guess I will just wait and see where this goes
      At least I have her assurance that she won't write anything without my permission
      I didn't even think of the celebrity side of things
      I don't exactly want to become famous for having a drug addiction or ED
      But we shall what unfolds in the next couple of weeks....... x

    3. hugs babe, email me anytime if you need a chat! you will decide the right thing, this I know!


  2. You're becoming quite the celebrity!
    I think that's a great angle too, and I love the way you talk about your dogs. You really care about them a lot and they do so much for you. I just never thought about it before you mentioned it.

    1. I like that angle too Emily
      Because they mean so much to me
      And have been an integral part of my recovery
      Mmmm I'm not too sure about being a celebrity
      I would be a very reluctant one x

  3. My dogs give me the same kind of incentive to get up and function as well. When I couldn't care for myself, and on days I still find it hard to care for myself, I at least take care of them and it keeps me feeling like a real person, capable and worthy of life. It's nice for people who have suffered from eating disorders, such as us, to be able to have them with us all day.

  4. So awesome that your dogs are such an important part of your life and that they've been so helpful in recovery!

  5. Just waving hello and wishing you a great day...

  6. I love that she wants to make the article about Honey and Lea. It's obvious how important they are to you and how much they've helped you, and I think it's a really great story to share. I understand why you'd have doubts about it, and ultimately it's your decision whether it can be published or not. Would you be more comfortable if she used your pseudonym instead of your real name?
    Billy always takes it hard when I go away. He's been my shadow his entire life, losing him would be like losing a leg. When I'm in hospital he sits by the door and whimpers and howls for the first few days, then he just goes really quiet and depressed. My favorite part of hospital admissions is coming home and seeing him again.
    I love that fact about the dogs that helped during 9/11. That's just gorgeous.

    Take care dear <3 xx


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