Sunday, 30 November 2014


I don't know where this post is going
But I feel the need to write
So we'll just go with it...

Something I have noticed in recent weeks
Is how very clumsy I have become
I literally fall
And trip
And bang my way through the day
Thinking back
I'm not sure when this started
Maybe I have always been accident prone
But it seems to be getting worse the older I get

This year has been a catalogue of mini disasters
Back when I got my new teeth
I had many incidences where I lost them
Like the time a dog headbutted me and knocked one out
Then I lost one in the swimming pool
Three came out when I was away during the summer
And twice I swallowed a tooth
And had to promptly purge it back up
I have learned the hard way to be extra careful with my precious new teeth
I avoid toffee sweets
Crusty bread
And chewing gum
I chew my food carefully
Sometime checking the contents of my mouth with my tongue to make sure no tooth has fallen out
Disgusting I know
But it has to be done

The past few days have been especially full with calamities
I dropped one of my Mum's good bowls in the sink and smashed it
I opened a tin of sardines and the tomato sauce went everywhere
Including all over me
I knocked a cup of tea over in the living room and ruined my Mother's slippers
I knocked a jar of mustard out of the sink
And when cooking today
I flicked a piece of piping hot onion in to the corner of my eye
It burned in to my skin as I struggled to pick it out
And this is all in the last couple of days
Also I am forever tripping over the dogs
Especially Lea
But that's not entirely my fault as she is always under my feet

When I was smoking I really was a danger
I used to sit in the living room
In front of the fire
Smoking up the chimney
I was constantly dropping hot ash and cigarettes on to the mat
That mat had to be replaced more times than I care to remember
I also used to knock over cups of tea daily
Glasses of juice
And anything I happened to be eating that day
I am happy to report that we have had a mat for some months now without any incident
Well, not many anyway

My sister is always telling me that I need to be more mindful
And concentrate on what I am doing
You see
My problem is that my mind is constantly one step ahead of my body
And my body is always playing catch up
So inevitably accidents happen

I remember when I did the mindfulness course back in the spring
That was something that we learned about
Being present in the here and now
I have to admit
I am rarely
If ever
In the present moment
I'm either thinking about something that has happened
Or something that will happen
My mind is never still
It's something that I have to actively make myself do

I think back over the years
And I have had some spectacularly embarrassing moments with regards to my clumsiness
I remember when I asked to my first grad
I wore a pair of shoes that I could not walk in
I was walking down the stairs of the club
Slipped off my shoe
And came crashing down the stairs
I picked myself up
Only to fall again two seconds later
Not my finest hour

I have broken toilets
Fell on people
Fell over people
Fallen over my own feet so many times
Fallen off a trampoline
I have left doors open so Honey has gotten in to a bedroom and peed on the bed
I could go on and on

Something funny that happened the other day
Honey and Lea are not allowed in the living room
But sometimes when my Mum is away
We let them in for a minute
So Honey came in one day
And jumped up on the couch with my sister
I took a photo
And thought no more of it
Then on Friday my Mum was looking through my new iphone
And was looking at the photos
I completely forgot that the one of Honey on the couch was  there
My Mother saw it
She was not best pleased
And me and Honey were in the dog house

I was wondering
Am I the only one like this?
Can you relate to being clumsy?
If you can
I really think we should set up a support group
Ok I'm joking
But seriously
Can you relate?

I'll leave you with a photo of Honey spending a lazy Sunday on her favourite chair
Head on chair arm
And leg hanging down


  1. yes i am a walking disaster area always covered in bruises,breaking stuff (usually through impatience) and have also knocked out teeth.although i annoy myself being like this,i have always found it endearing in others.find smooth people quite irritating.although have both flooded and set fire to my kitchen in last month,i think meds make it worse don't you? makes you foggy,but i wouldn't worry.makes you ,you,and you are a very lovely person. jo x

  2. I am dead clumsy. Really, like the lovely Jo above me, I am a walking accident waiting to happen. Always bumps and bruises every where. I live in an appartment without stairs, and that's by choice. Before, I lived with stairs and fell down at least twice a week and that's probably not really accurate, I think more...
    My best friend used to live in a house with a slik wooden stairs and I managed to fall so much there that nobody came checking on me after a few times ;-)
    But on the other hand, I don't drop things as much as you would expect. But I think that's just because I am very carefull with everything cause I am very much attached to things :$

    (L) from Holland, it's 5Cdegrees here now!! Tonight it'll drop to -3 or worse :O

  3. My mom gets angry with me when I allow my dog, Tessi, on the furniture too. This post was adorable. We all can't be graceful like ballerinas! x

  4. Working in hospitality I have dropped cups and plates, but I used to make milk shakes a lot and I carried one over and dropped the cup, it landed on the ground without tipping over and the milk shake went all over me, it was a hot day and I had to go home smelling like sour milk. I have knocked a whole bottle of milk over and it's gone everywhere . At another job I fell over stepping stones out the back of the cafe and face planted the ground. I've also knocked a plate full of spaghetti off the counter and spaghetti was all over the cutlery which had to be washed and polished.
    I've fallen off horses more times than I can count and have sprained my wrist doing so. I've even fallen over in hey when feeding horses and a horse knocked me over and trampled on me. I'm also always tripping over a cat or a dog at home too and I am one of those people who trips up the stairs. I'm just not very coordinated.

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