Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Day 2, again

I got to a lunch time meeting today
Technically I am on Day 4 of the 90 day challenge 
But today is only my second meeting
So I am counting it as Day 2
I wasn't particularly looking forward to the meeting
At one stage I wasn't going to go at all
And was going to stay at home and over use my meds
But 
I managed to get off my bony bum
And go to the meeting
There was about 12 there today
A good mixture of people
I still get quite nervous when it's my turn to speak
But today I managed to speak more than I usually would
My ex sponsor was at the meeting
I am thinking of asking her to be my sponsor again
As I definitely need one

I'm really feeling the benefits of going to meetings
It gives me a purpose each day
Something healthy to throw myself in to
My head feels a lot clearer
And the committee is a lot quieter
I feel stronger
More capable and able
More positive and hopeful
Socially it's great too
As I am meeting new people 
And talking to people
All in all
Going back to meetings was one of my better ideas 

So it's onwards and upwards from here
Plenty of meetings 
Seeing my friends
Getting out the front door
And living my life
I also had to do a lot of accepting
Accept that I can't use or drink
At all
Accept that I am an addict
That I have an addictive personality
I've had to accept that I need meetings
But that not every one at the meetings is well
I've had to filter out a lot of the shite that is talked at meetings 
And listen carefully to the people who are healthy and strong in their recovery 
Unfortunately they seem to be in the minority

Anyway
I will keep going
Keep fighting
For a better life
For a future
For peace of mind
And sanity
What is the alternative......?

8 comments:

  1. Yay!! And you are so right about people at meetings. There is a lot of sickness there. You know what they say, stick with the people who "have what you want". Serenity, sobriety, wisdom, all the good stuff. Keep up the good work. You are an inspiration!
    Xxoo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There sure is Sarah
      So many ill people
      I am trying to stick with the winners as they say
      As I want to be a winner too
      Thanks for your support Sarah x

      Delete
  2. Sobriety. How many ml methadone you re on again?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh very smart anonymous
      You know perfectly well that I am as clean as I can get right now
      But you always want to bring me down
      Sorry
      It didn't work this time
      Try again.....

      Delete
    2. How's your spiritual fitness Anon? I suggest you take your your OWN inventory.

      Delete
    3. You give out more than 27ml of bile, Anon. You're a pusher of Ill will and that is nothing to be proud of.

      Delete
  3. I'm glad you're still giving this your all. You know what you need to do, and it's so good to know you're finally taking the steps to get there.
    I agree, going back to meetings was definitely one of your better ideas ;)

    Plus, I was thinking, maybe at some point you could make it to two meetings in one day and 'make up' for a day?

    <3
    xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Have you looked into online or phone meetings? There are video meetings on skype or chat rooms, and there's ones over the phone that I guess are like conference calls. I don't know a lot about them, but maybe it's an option if you can't make one in person. Also, like Bella said, I would go to 2 in a day sometimes (or 3) and that's actually how I ended up averaging out to 90 in 90.. well I wasn't counting the whole time, but it averaged out to 7 a week for a long time because I missed some days but other days I'd go to more than one. If you could do that, that's I think why they make it 90 in 90 rather than strictly saying one a day. Sometimes you just miss a day. You're doing great.
    It sounds like it's helping.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for leaving some love x