Blogging

Since I started writing my blog is April

2012

Blogging had become an integral part of my life

More than a hobby 

It's something that I feel compelled to do

And it's part of my everyday routine

Every morning

After I walk my dogs 

I settle down on the floor of the living room

My back to the sofa

Cup of hot sweet tea at hand

And just write until the mess of tangled words in my head makes some sort of sense

While I walk my dogs

I listen to the radio 

I love chat shows

And phone in shows

Listening to conversation 

Without the pressure of having to contribute

I also think about what I'm going to write about that day

And by the time I get home

I have the bones of a post formed in my head

I try to write every day

I do that on purpose 

Because writing my blog is something I do every day 

One day at a time

A lot like AA

Inspiration comes from everywhere 

And I'm always on the look out for interesting topics

Something might happen in my life

Like my relapse

Or getting caught shoplifting

I might review a book I've read 

Or a documentary I've watched

It might be an item about mental health or addiction highlighted in the news

It may be a personal post

A thought post

A story from my past

Inspiration is everywhere 

And I get my cues to write in the most obscure places

I've always written 

For as long as I can remember

I kept diaries 

Logs of different times in my life 

Usually when I was in treatment 

And had the time and energy and clarity of mind to write

There something lovely about documenting a moment in time

Something that the memory fails to recall no matter how hard you try

There were a few years where I wrote pretty much nothing

I was on the throes of addiction

And it just didn't seem important 

Now I wish I had documented that time

As there are so many stories

Things you couldn't make up 

Things that memory can't quite do justice to 

As I have said before

When I think back to that time

I can't quite work out if something really happened 

Or if it was a dream

Or a hallucination 

Because it could have easily been any of them

I was a late comer to the world of the internet

What with being strung out

It held no interest to me

Then I moved to a place where there was no internet connection

And do it wasn't until a few years ago that I first dipped my toe in the World Wide Web

By then 

My ED was in full flight

And I began looking for others like me

I started reading blogs probably about a year before I decided to write my own

By then 

Blogging  was huge

And every one and their mother had a blog

I didn't expect anything from blogging

I just wanted to know that I wasn't alone

That there were others like me

And people who had come out the other side alive and well

Blogging is a strange phenomenon 

And what with Facebook

Tumblr

YouTube 

Twitter

And Instagram 

It seems everyone wants to share their lives with anyone who will read, watch, listen

I don't use FB

Never have 

But of course I have looked at it

Yes something's are thought provoking and funny

And I do recognise the place social media has 

I guess I use my blog instead of Facebook

As I find it much easier to share my life with strangers than I do with those I know personally 

I thought about why that is

And I think it's because I'm not emotionally attached to the person

I'm not going to hurt them

Or disappoint them

Or let them down

Or worry them 

I can share my thoughts and experiences safe in the knowledge that there will be no come back

Is it the same for everyone?

I don't know 

You tell me

I share most things on the Internet

So I can't really give out about others who do the same

But why do we do it?

What compels us to share our thoughts

Our experiences

Our triumphs and failures

Our deepest secrets

And our sickness?

Maybe it's because we don't have anyone in real life to share them with

Maybe we are looking for others like us

Maybe we want sympathy

Or empathy

Maybe we want our struggles and pain to be acknowledged 

Maybe we want attention

Recognition

Maybe we want notoriety

Maybe we want to shock others

Maybe we have more sinister reasons

If I am really honest 

When ever something happens in my life

One of my first thoughts is

Oh that's something to write about 

How healthy is that?

I'm not entirely sure 

Of course

We wouldn't write 

If we didn't get some kind of payoff

For me

It's the connection with others 

The hope that my experiences will help

Someone else get through the day

I'm lucky to have amazing readers

Who leave such thoughtful and kind comments

Which absolutely make my day

Everyday 

I get emails from people across the world 

I feel privileged that these people share their stories with me

And I always try to reply 

Of course there is the odd nasty comment

But that's to be expected 

When you put yourself out there

On the whole 

Blogging has been an extremely positive experience

And force for good in my life

I read back over posts 

That I have no recollection of writing 

And I wonder how I am still standing 

It just goes to show what we can withstand 

And overcome when we have to 

With all that said

I was wondering about you

Why did you start blogging?

Has it been a force for good in your life?

How long have you been writing?

How often do you write?

Answers on a postcard please ......