Memories

During my last session with Mary

She reminded me of a time when she asked me to show her a photo of a time when I felt happy and content 

I remember bringing in the photo to her

It was taken seven or eight years ago

I was in my early twenties

My weight was stable

And even though I had my struggles

I remember feeling pretty good back then

The photo was taken in my brothers house

And I am surrounded by my brother

My mother

My nephew 

And my sister

I like this photo as I think I look healthy

Like I don't have a care in the world

There's a spark in my eyes

And I look alive

There's another photo I have that I like

It's no exaggeration to say that these two photos are probably the only ones I like of myself

This one was taken in Avignon

In France

Again about seven years ago

We stayed in a beautiful apartment

And it was one of my favourite holidays ever

In the photo

I am sitting by the door 

Waiting for my family before we head out to dinner 

I'm reading 

And seem engrossed in the book 

I have a cup of tea beside me

And a cigarette in my hand 

I wasn't aware at the time that the photo was being taken

And that is probably a good thing

As I look more natural 

To be honest 

I was struggling a lot at this time 

Was underweight 

And purged my way around France 

But even though things were tough 

I still really enjoyed the holiday

And have precious memories of it

Both these photos bring back lovely memories

And prove that there were times in my past when I was happy

Things weren't perfect

But then when are they perfect?

These photos are so precious to me

In my house

I am the one that buys photo frames 

And displays the photos 

I just think that having an actual photo

is amazing

It's great to have them on the computer

Or memory stick

But holding an actual photo is one of life's little pleasures 

For me anyway

So

On to the photos......