Sans Scale

Giving up my weighing scales 

Has turned out to be one of the better decisions I have made in recent times

I admit it

For the first few days

I missed it

And spent many hours wondering what I weighed 

But now I'm on Day 10

And I feel like I'm past the withdrawal stage 

And reaping the rewards of not weighing 

Weighing was one of the first things I did of a morning

I woke up 

Used the bathroom

Stripped

And stood on

In the milliseconds that it took the number to flash up

I said a quick and pleading prayer to whatever God was in duty at that time to please show a nice number a safe number 

Or an acceptable number 

Then I would squeeze my eyes open

And peep down at the number 

That number

Dictated my mood 

My self esteem

And self worth for the whole day

There have been times when I sobbed on my bed room floor 

Naked 

Cursing the scale and my big anorexic ass

How dignified

Who ever said eating disorders were glamorous

Come walk a day in my shoes

Anyway 

I just wanted to say that I really recommend getting rid of the scale

In the past year 

I have got rid of two scales 

The first one was thrown in to the lake near my house 

(Sorry Mother Nature!)

And I took a hammer to the second one

Each time I went back to the scale 

Replacing the ones that were destroyed

Like a slave 

I kept going back

Now 

I can honestly say that I don't miss the scale

Not one little bit

The initial few days were tough

As I imagined that without my scale

I was putting on weight by the hour

But 

I am going by how I feel

Rather than what I look like

And I feel pretty ok

Most of the time

So let's go with that 

And also my clothes still fit

So I am not going to freak out just yet

So all in all 

Getting rid of the scale has been very positive

It's freeing 

It's liberating

It's cathartic

It's breaking the ball and chain that is the scale

It's taking back control 

It's saying that I don't want to be a slave to the scale any more

It's taking a stand against your ED 

It's measuring your worth by how you live your life 

And not measuring your worth in pounds and ounces 

So if you are thinking about it

All I can say is

 

DO IT!

I promise you

You won't regret it ....