Yesterday's post was written out of a place of having to defend myself
I felt attacked by the anonymous comments who told me to 'Grow up' and 'Get a job'
And because my confidence is on the low side
I didn't have the ability to see these what these comments were
An faceless, nameless, anonymous commenter
Someone who reads my blog
But doesn't approve of my lifestyle
They obviously have a bee in their Bonnet about my not working
And have been very vocal about that lately
I actually thought about deleting my blog and leaving blogger yesterday
That's how bad I felt
I spoke to various members of my family
And consensus was to ignore said comments
Read and delete
They pointed out that I don't know these people
And their opinions shouldn't matter
Much like what a lot of you wrote on the comments section too
I'm not leaving though
There may be negatives to writing this blog
But there are more positives
So I will continue to blog
And continue to fight for recovery
You also suggested that I disable anonymous comments
I would do this only that there are quite a few readers who comment under anonymous but who always leave their names
So I don't want to do that
Also I want to get to a place where I can read these comments and not give them a second thought
So I will leave it as it is for now
The thing is
I felt judged yesterday
I felt like my whole life was being torn apart
I know I put myself out there
So I should expect such judgment
It's amazing how someone can get up on their high horse and cast judgment on others
I mean
My life is not perfect
I do the best I can
I am struggling at the moment
Big time
But I am trying my level best to get back on track
If there is one thing I don't do
Is judge others
You may smoke 40 cigarettes a day
You may drink your weight in wine
You may smoke a joint from time to time
Or maybe every day
You may never donate to charity
Or only shower once a week
You may have stolen in your time
Or not paid a parking fine
You may be a staunch workaholic
Or not work at all
You may have purple hair
A face full of piercings
And a body covered in tattoos
You may be gay
Bisexual
Transgender
Whatever it is
I am not here to judge you
Your life is your life
And you can do with it as you please
Let those with out sin cast the first stone and all that
So go ahead anonymous
Judge me
Judge me for all your worth
I know I'm a good person
I bet if you were dealing with what I am dealing with
You wouldn't be perfect either
I put myself out there to help others
And myself
If putting others down is what does it for you
Then go ahead
I've dealt with worse than you in my life
Far far worse
Live and let live I say
In the words of One Direction
'Nobody can drag me down'
Ha
Can't believe I just quoted One Direction!
I don't even like them!
Can you tell I'm feeling better today....
just unfollowed you. not because you do not work. but because currently you do not seem to have an opinion of your own. you let this community decide simply EVERYTHING including your piercings and haircuts. and you define yourself solely by your illness and addiction, and all of this is very sad to witness. how will you ever get over it, if it is your only focus? i know you are struggling, but i firmly believe in concentrating on healthy activities/topics in order to get better. please acknowledge what you have already achieved (it is a lot!) and move on and forward, Ruby. I wish you all the best for your future. I might check back in sometime, and still believe in you. xx
ReplyDeleteIt's really not very nice to 'tough love' someone when they are clearly in need of support and love. Perhaps you don't understand what it is to be completely incapacitated by an illness, but you should check yourself before judging people who have overcome a hell of a lot more than most people can fathom.
DeleteI am not a part of the so- called community but I thought that was just plain nasty, J! If you want to unfollow that's fine but you don't have to announce it in such a hateful way.
Deleteuntrue, unkind and uncalled for,not nice to kick someone when they're down
Deletehope you think next time. jo
Rubs, so here's the thing. When I read your post yesterday about this, I was going to comment, but then I didn't think you sounded that upset by the comment, so I was like - yo, Ruby is rocking this, so fuggit. But then, I read this and it broke my heart - I disabled annoymous comments on my blog about a year ago, because I figured that at least if people wanted to be mutha fucken assholes to me then they should at least have the balls to put a name to it, because haters gon' hate.
ReplyDeleteI believe in saying that, that I'm allowed to put my insecurities in this place, because that was the whole reason behind starting these blogs in the first place - it's raw and it's real and I think that people who expect people to live by normal standards and processes don't get it. You have overcome addiction in the most insane way and while it may be easier to keep heroine out of your life, food is obviously a different kind of drug that we HAVE to face. Fuck people that don't get this.
I think you are like the strongest person I know and what makes you stronger than I think you even realise is that you don't lie to yourself (or us) about your life - I think that it's way harder to level with yourself than be in denial and just ignore the problem.
People think that we/they have to have it all sorted out by 30 or whenever, fuck their stupid belief systems that are based on little more than societies expectations for perfection. Perfection as we know, is a pointless and dangerous standard.
So in short... well not exactly - basically - fuck those fucking fucks and their fucking stupid fuckety judgment. They don't know you, they don't know what you've been through. You DO you. And fuck everyone else.
Xo
i agree, please don't let all this get you down again, it is one or two people out of many and it doesn't even sound like they are reading or if they do they don't listen. you are brave to be so honest in your blog and don't deserve such judgement, it seems to be a lot lately and would knock anyone back, if i wrote about my life id be attacked constantly.please know you have a lot of support on here. jo xx
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