Wednesday, 30 December 2015


As is usual at this time of the year
I've been looking back over 2015
The ups and downs
The highs and lows 
It's been an eventful year to say the least 
It's started out with poor little Honey having an operation to remove her eye
After a rather nasty infection killed the sight in it
The poor thing was in a lot of pain
And every time we went to my vet
We came away with no answers
So we decided to go to my Dads vet
Who operated immediately after seeing her eye 
I can remember being so worried
That she wouldn't recover
That something would go wrong
She came home the next day 
And was incredibly groggy for a day or two
But after that 
She made a remarkable recovery
And was back to her cheeky self in no time
The only thing that is different is that she doesn't always come for walks now
But that's ok
That's her perogative 
When Lea and I go out
Honey waits at the side of the house for us to come back 
And gets so excited when she sees us coming 
But still
It would take a lot more than a missing eye to stop Honey

I don't even want to mention what happened next 
You know what I mean 
The Boy 
I had temporary lapse in judgement early last year 
When I began meeting The Boy
And soon found myself smack bang in the middle of a relapse 
This was a really tough time
As I struggled to make sense of my feelings for him 
And also the infamous poppy tea
My mum and sister found out
Prompting one hell of an argument between us 
It was a horrible time
One that I don't think of very often 
So the less said about it the better me thinks 

In April
We did the darkness to light walk
Which is becoming a tradition every year
It's in aid of suicide prevention 
So it's all for a good cause

Then came summer 
We brought my nephew to Belfastfor his birthday 
I shaved the side of my head 
I got my nose pierced 
Which I still love to this day 
My mum had her retirement do 
At which I made a speech
I had my birthday in September 
Then headed to Istanbul at the end of month
October we went to Cork for a few days 
November we got the news that my brother signed a two book deal
Then this month 
I had another bout of pancreatitis
Which was a blow 
But I am doing my best to get over 
And of course Christmas 
Which was lovely 
And in between all that 
I did various interviews and writing pieces for different on line publication which was amazing 
Yes it's been a rollercoaster of a year
But I wouldn't change it for the world 

Here are some photos from the last year...


  1. I've never thought of writing down the year like that but its a good idea, i don't
    like new year and just try to get through it, love christmas though. hope all good things for you and that your struggle gets easier, you deserve it, lots love
    millie xxx (you know)

    1. ps where did that year go ??

    2. I know right?
      That year just flew by
      I swear I blinked and I missed it

      Am kind of looking forward to things calming down now
      Although still a lot of relatives coming tomorrow
      Just wish it was all over x

  2. YOU are amazing. That is all. Over and out xxxxxxx

    1. Aw I don't know about that Annie
      But thank you
      You are also amazing x

    2. Oh yes it's true. Annie has spoken lol! X

    3. Right, so BOFFA y'ins are Amaesing-!!!

      *gamesetmatchtoJils* >; )

  3. Hey Rubs I haven't written for a while now it's k here, still as anonymous and chicken
    Christmas and new year has so much anticipation in it I always come out being the old failing me so I'm just trying to survive it, focusing on fussing around others to the point I overdo it, all because I'm running away from sitting with myself and realising the only person who can make a shift in me is me
    I've been hearing I should accept my demon and stop hating it as it's part of me and that means I can't love myself....but this self compassion is a hard business aye
    I mean loving myself with everything that comes with me would kinda mean I'm done trying to be someone with my bulimia
    Which I would soooo love.
    I had few stints in my adult life when I was bulimia free and it was awesome I can feel the buzz still....but because I am a functioning bulimic with a family friends job hobbies art I can get my buzzes elsewhere but every time there's this prong of fakeness where I know it would be a complete happiness moment if it wasn't for my dark secret
    So where was I....yes as if there was a less pressure on me getting better completely, because there's a number of people who love me the way I am now...I'm just not able to walk the last few miles of the recovery road and it is so demoralising and am sick of it
    I'm so with you and behind you trying to get better and overcoming this shite
    Thank you for your honesty and letting us know we're not on our own trying to become the best versions of ourselves
    Lots of love from NZhugs k xxx


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