Blogger reflects life
Many many different communities
All formed by the labels that have been given to us
Anorectic
Bulimic
BPD
EDNOS
Anxiety
Depression
OCD
Trichotillimania
Schizophrenic
Fashionista
Lifestyle blogger
Make up
Kids
Pets
Blogger has space for all of us
And our little corner of blogger
Is where we have all gathered
To support each other
To get support
To connect with others like us
To identify
To help each other get through the daily grind that is mental illness
Even though it seems blogger has gone out of fashion
We still meet
Every single day
To read
To write
To not feel so alone
It's an enormous part of our lives
Blogger also reflects life
In that people come and go all the time
In my life
There has been a revolving door of people in and out for as long as I can remember
Blogger is no different
I guess I am thinking about this
As I am coming up on 4 years blogging
And it's human to look back and reflect
When I first started blogging
Back in 2012
There was a buzzing and thriving community
It was amazing to be part of this exciting movement
Every day
There was a large number of blogs to read
It was both terrifying and thrilling to witness
Sad that this community was needed
Yet so grateful to have the support
I have met the most amazing people through my blog
And reading other blogs
The best of friends
Some of you have been there from the start
Some of you are newer to blogger
But the amazing thing is
Everyone is welcome
There is space
And a place for us all
But of course
Many have come and gone over the years
Often with out reason or explanation
The odd person might explain their reasons for leaving
Maybe they are recovering
And need to move on
Some feel the community is no longer healthy or helpful
More often than not
They just vanish off the face of the blogosphere
Never to be heard from again
Two fellow bloggers who I befriended over the years
And became very close to
Have since left the blogosphere
Deleted their blogs
And don't reply to my messages anymore
The first person in question
Had been part of the ED blogging world for a time
But had then 'recovered' And left
She still blogged
But nothing to do with ED
We were closer than close
We texted every day
She was a great support
But we disagreed over one fundamental issue
She maintained that the ED community here on blogger was unhealthy
She dismissed our comments on each other's blogs as sentimental drivel
She urged me time and time again to leave
Or at least branch out a little
Not inspite of her honesty
I loved her because of her honesty
As a lot of the time
She made good points
But alas
We got in to a nasty argument
And haven't spoken since
I have since found out that she wasn't in recovery at all
She was severely underweight
And her life was crumbling around her ears
I dont know how she is now
I don't know if she is ok
If she's blogging
If she's even alive
I regret the argument we had
We both said things we didn't mean
I'd love to know how she is
The other girl was a similar story
We became very close
Very quickly
In constant contact
But again
We came to an impass
And she fell of the face of the earth
I still feel the loss of both friends
There is a hole in my life that they once filled
But that's life I guess
Not just life here on blogger
People come and go
Nothing lasts forever
I have been thinking though
Is this the reason that so many have left blogger?
Because they have found it to be unheAlthy?
Is it unhealthy?
Are we deluding ourselves that what we have here is beneficial?
I worry about that
I worry that we are enabling each other
Because of someone doesn't want to get well
We don't question that
Of course that is supporting a choice someone makes
But is it also supporting the illness?
I guess like everything in life
There are positives and negatives to blogging
And there have been many times over the years
That I have weighed up blogging
And whether it does more bad than good
But I have always come to the conclusion
That the positive outweighs the negative
My blog has saved my life many times
The support and love and well wishes I have received had been overwhelming at times
Blogging has helped me find a love of writing
It has opened up many doors
With amazing people and experiences
I wouldn't trade it for all the tea in China
With all that said
I was wondering about you
Do you think ED blogging is healthy or unhealthy?
Do you think the pros out weigh the cons?
What do you get out of blogging?
How long have you been blogging?
Inquiring minds want to know....
It can be at times "pissing in your pocket" if yoy know what i mean. But i love a happy ending. Xx
ReplyDeleteShelby
Ha ha ha. Just realised that was an aussie expression. Funny cos i think i heard it on The Young Ones. Anyway, I'll let you look that one up!!
ReplyDeleteNever heard that one before Shelby
ReplyDeleteBut I love The Young Ones!
Am definitely looking that one up..... X
Just looked it up
DeleteAnd yes I agree
Love this expression
I shall endeavour to use it in daily conversation.... X
I think they can be good or bad, and like most things in life, they are often both.
ReplyDeleteBlogs are diverse, so are people. So are stages of recovery. In my own experience, when I was really down, recovery blogs were really helpful, but now that I'm really fine, they're more like an addiction. There's a question for all of us about the role of our past in our present.... When and how to "move on", when and how to stay and be there with others.
I think it is also often hard to know what to say and what not to say on blogs that one reads. Sometimes one can see perfectly well that a person is kidding themselves about health, but it isn't always so obvious whether one will do more good or harm if one points that out. Sometimes one is really worried about someone, but one can't do anything. Sometimes one makes a thoughtless comment, and then realise later how awful it was...
Like any human interaction, it is difficult. And there are good things and bad things, and it's up to us to reach for the best by the lights we can see.
Love, and have a good Sunday.
I definitely agree
DeleteThere is good and bad in most things
And life is not black or white
There is always a huge grey area too
Where most things reside
Thank you
Hope you have a good Sunday too x
How do you know what happened to these girls when you haven't been in touch? and how can you judge whether someone is recovered or not you just knew via blogger? it might make you feel better for a short while to imagine that people are worse off than you, but this is speculation, and not fair and really out of the character your normally portray yourself as here.
ReplyDeleteI am not judging anyone
DeleteNot at all
It was in fact the girl herself who told me how I'll she was
It was the last text she sent
Her weight and height
And BMI
It is not speculation if she told me herself
I think you are reading too much in to this......
Also
DeleteIt does not make me feel better to know she is struggling
That is actually you speculating now
I never wrote that
Ruby, I think Blogger is a mixed bag and not good or bad in itself. I DO think that most of the community doesn't do hard call-outs on disordered behavior, but you can also choose what audience you encourage on your blog. If you ever met Kazehana, she pulled no punches - ever - and I loved and respected that about her, even when we disagreed (she doesn't blog much anymore though).
ReplyDeleteI think for the most part if you want to be sick, you seek out a sick community, and if you want to get well, you seek out a recovery community.
You make a great point Tempest
DeleteI agree
We seek out others like us
Depending on where you are at
We are drawn to others the same as us
That's human I guess
No I have never heard of her
Does she have a blog? X
Like Tempest said, there are good and bad sides to everything. What matters is what you get out of this community. If it helps you, then that's good. I know blogger has helped me enormously, and I've made some really good friends here (including Tempest, who I finally got to meet in person last autumn!). Plus your blog helps others who are struggling.
ReplyDeleteIn February, I'll have been blogging for six years. I don't think I've ever been this committed to anything in my life....
xo