Sunday, 3 January 2016

TMI

I recently wrote an article for an on line magazine called Holl and Lane
The article was published a couple of days ago
And was entitled 'Inside the mind of an addict' 
It was basically my story 
From childhood 
To now 
And everything in between 
It was a long article 
And even though it has just been published 
I wrote it and submitted it back in October
So reading it yesterday
Was like reading it for the first time
As I read through it 
Some thing suddenly struck me
And hit me like a brick to the head
Am I over sharing?
Am I telling too much about my life?
Am I leaving myself open and vulnerable?
Am I doing the wrong thing?
Is there a reason why most people don't air their dirty laundry?
After I finished reading the article
I felt utterly naked and exposed
I wanted to take the article back 
And submit a nice polished fairy story of my life 
With a neat little ending where everything turns out ok
And I marry the prince who saved me from myself 

As you know 
I don't write an awful lot about my family 
I mention my mum and sister a lot 
And my sisters depression
But I try not to write about my family too much 
In this particular article 
I wrote a little bit about growing up
And I can't write about growing up without talking about the addiction in my home
The unhappy place it was to be
And the tyrant my father was
But now I feel guilty about writing about him
Because he's not like that anymore 
He has changed 
Markedly so
I don't want to point the finger at him
And blame him for all the shit my family has been through 
But at the same time
I have to be honest 
And tell my truth
My account of my own life 

But I wonder 
Am I being too honest?
Should I really be writing so explicitly about my life?
Will it come back to haunt me in the future?
I mean 
I give a full and frank account of my life here 
And I really don't know what other way to tell my story 
I don't write anonymously 
Heck there's big ass photo of me on the front of my blog!
I don't know

With all that said
I was wondering about you
What do you think about honesty while blogging?
Do you think we should hold back and preserve our dignity?
Or are you in favour of telling all?
Inquiring minds want to know.....

19 comments:

  1. Honestly...i don't know . sometimes i think honesty is best. Just tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. I read a book to that effect. Like, you tell the truth and if people dont like it, that's their problem.

    On the other hand, I'm sure you'll get your shit together one day and do you want it all out there for people in your future life to peruse?

    In my line of work, unfortunately i work with some extremely unsavory people and i really can't let them know me.

    But again, have you really said anything that bad?! No.

    Shelby x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think I have Shelby
      I would hate to think that
      But I'm leaning towards thinking they honesty is best
      I guess it was a bit of a shock seeing the article
      As I had forgotten what I had written
      But also
      There is the worry that my blog could come back to haunt me
      So I do need to be mindful in that respect

      Hope you are well Shelby x

      Delete
    2. Anybody here suffering with bulimia I want to give you what helped me overcome this.
      http://tinyurl.com/hquzalb

      Delete
  2. I think it is incredibly important to be honest and open, otherwise it won't help anyone. Either one has to tell it as it is, or not tell it at all. If it involves identifiable others, then one should probably ask their permission before publishing. Telling one's story is often important, both for building trust with the people who accept you with your story, without varnish, and correspondingly for letting it go and hopefully moving on. One doesn't want to tell the same story all one's life, one wants to move on and grow.
    I really hope you get well soon and get the help you need. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea I think so
      And that is typical me
      All or nothing

      Thank you
      I hope so too x

      Delete
  3. I vent in my blog, but try to stay as anonymous as possible. I don't want my irl friends and family to know the chaos that is my life. Not even my boyfriend is allowed to read it. But I've always been a chicken :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are not a chicken CP
      You are strong beyond belief x

      Delete
  4. I think you should listen to your heart Ruby. If you think, in your heart of hearts, that exposing too much about yourself and your family could be detrimental, then it probably is. Some people are comfortable revieling more, and others aren't. What's right for someone else won't necessarily be right for you.

    Louisa xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true Louisa
      Thank you

      And happy new year x

      Delete
  5. I think if you want to tell the truth about yourself then that is your choice and fine. However talking about your family in such a way might be unfair- maybe ask yourself if your family would be happy with what you have written about them. If not, then don't do it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think this is the thing that is upsetting me
      I wrote something about my father that he used to be
      But is not any more
      Anyway
      We live and learn x

      Delete
  6. Ruby, I think we need to be honest because people need to know that no ones life is perfect... too many people try to portray that.

    I think it's incredibly hard to open ourselves up the way do but people that write the way we do touch me the most... I love reading about how people handle challenges and grow. Yes we fall but we never give up xox ♡♡♡

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Launna

      Happy new year to you x

      Delete
  7. Honesty is always best, but I completely get the feeling that you've been left exposed and vulnerable. It's scary, but it can be empowering if you let it. I think the more open and honest you are, the more of an inspiration you are, and you, my dear, are one heck of an inspiration. As long as you don't make yourself vulnerable, write what you want. Follow youe instinct and you'll be ok xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's because I wrote about someone else
      My dad
      And that didn't sit right with me
      I won't do it again I think x

      Delete
  8. Hey Ruby! Happy New Year!

    Just wanted to respond by saying that I really don't think that anybody can write 'too honestly'... I mean, if you had set a boundary or had a rule that you wouldn't ever write about the topic of anger, or that you wouldn't ever disclose that fact that you had suffered an ED, then, THEN you could be 'too honest', but you haven't got that rule here... If you don't set a boundary, you can't cross a line.
    Do you get what I mean? (I think I might be being a little pedantic here).
    What I really what to say is that it is precisely your gift of honesty and openness that draws people here, and probably draws them to you in the real world too!
    Keep doing what you do for as long as you like.

    I think you're great.

    ff

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Ffb,

      Thank you for your kind words
      They mean a lot
      Happy new year to you too x

      Delete
  9. i think you are unwaveringly strong and honest, just do what you feel from now on, i am following and putting 2 fingers up to husband. back to jo and proud! love you ruby xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to heAr from you again Jo
      And well done for standing up to him
      Always here for you
      And love you to x

      Delete

Thank you for leaving some love x