Wednesday 24 February 2016

Star

I'm just on my way home from my second horse riding lesson
I've been looking forward to it all week
My Mum drove today
The morning was frosty 
So we had to take a bit of a detour to get to the stables
The lesson was at 11 30am
So we left out house at 10 15am
And arrived just in time 
I was in with a group this week 
As opposed to last week
When it was a one on one session
Before we got saddled up
My Mum and I took a little walk around 
There was a beautiful miniature horse
I completely forgot to take a photo of him 
But he was just adorable 
Then it was my turn 
I was riding Star again today 
He is fast becoming my bestie
This week we mostly trotted 
And I was let go on my own 
I felt more confident this week 
It is just so enjoyable 
And there is a lovely atmosphere there 
People come 
And leave their troubles at the door
Have the craic
And forget about real life for a while 
was a bit quieter today 
I always am around new people 
But I tried my best to be sociable and pleasant 
I'm hoping as I do more sessions 
That my confidence will grow 
Both around people 
And around the horses

Having something to look forward to 
Makes a huge difference to my whole world 
With out something you enjoy
What is the point of life?
And we make a day of it on a Wednesday 
After horse riding 
We go in to town
And go for something to eat 
Or do some shopping 
As I was leaving the stables today
Ailish, the lady in charge 
Said that if I ever want to hang around for a couple of hours
I can help them around the stables
I was delighted to hear this 
As it's something I would just love to do
Spending time with horses?
I don't need to be asked twice 
And now the weather is improving a bit 
It makes it a lot easier 
That's another thing to look forward to

It seems like things are beginning to fall in to place for me
I can remember as recently as Christmas feeling so very lost
I just didn't know where I was going 
Or what I was doing 
I remember my Mum saying to me one day 
That I looked like a lost soul
They was exactly the way I felt 
But now 
Now things are starting to turn around for me
Slowly but surely
As usual 
My bulimia is holding me back 
If I could just get the purging under control
I might have a fighting chance
I feel like I have a lot to live for now 
I'm building my own little life 
Doing my own little thing 
I used to always wait for people to suggest things 
Like going swimming 
Or going in to town 
I didn't have the confidence to do my own thing 
As I didn't think it counted if I suggested it 
I didn't think my opinion it thoughts mattered 
I guess being the youngest of four
I have always just fallen in with my older siblings 
And did what they did 
Now that I am fully grown adult 
The habits of a life time are hard to change 
I still tend to follow their lead 
But more and more 
I am finding my own occupation
My own hobbies and interests 
My own life 

Breda often speaks to me about self care 
You know 
Doing things for yourself 
To mind yourself 
To care for yourself 
Things you enjoy 
I am just starting to see how important that is now
Because now I have my own little thing going on
I have the horse riding 
My upcoming job
And meetings 
The last time I went to meetings 
I kind of depended on one person
If they were going to the meeting 
I would go 
But if they weren't 
I wouldn't go either
This time I'm trying to mix with many people 
So I'm not tied to the one person
And it feels so much better not to be dependent on anyone 
I go to my meetings 
I talk to everyone 
I go out of my way to speak to people who I usually wouldn't meet 
I suggest other meetings to go to
Next Monday
Myself and two of the ladies are going to a lunch time meeting up north
So I'm looking forward to that too

As I type this 
I am sitting in a car park outside a supermarket 
Waiting for my Mum who has gone to the bank
I feel content 
Satisfied 
I feel like I did something really good for myself today 
Something I enjoyed 
And is food for the soul 
I feel happy that I got out of the house 
That I got up early
Walked the dogs 
Got dressed
And headed to the equestrian centre 
Now I am heading home 
And I feel a warm glow inside
And that my friends
Is priceless...



16 comments:

  1. This post makes me happy. Thank you, Ruby!

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  2. Aw CP
    I am so glad
    Because I felt happy writing it
    Hope you are doing ok
    You are also a star x

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  3. sounds a happy day hope you have loads more! jo xx

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  4. is anyone else having problems commenting/ only lets me about once a week?

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    Replies
    1. That's a good question Jo
      Is anyone else having trouble commenting?
      Is there something I can do to fix it? X

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  5. So is Star a slow, docile horse or a hyper, misbehaving one?

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    Replies
    1. Star is an old fella
      He's 17 years old
      So he's a little on the slow side
      But I'd love to ride a hyper horse
      Just for the craic.... X

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    2. Older calmer horses make for easier riding. I had a hyper pony that used to buck. I find geldings are a lot more placid compared to mares.

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  6. It warms my heart to read this. I adore horses and have been meaning to get back into riding myself as I really do enjoy it.
    I've volunteered at establishments where they'd allow me to muck out stalls and such in exchange for free lessons.
    I'm glad that you look forward to it every week. I hope the new job goes well for you. I Wish you all the best Ruby.
    Anne Xx

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  7. Oh Ruby, i am going through a terrible time now. But your post gives me hope. Thank you so much for writing. This is the beginning of many more happy days to come.
    Love
    Pia

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    Replies
    1. Hang in there Pia
      I hate that you are struggling so much
      But so glad that you can come here for a little relief
      Do email me anytime if you need to chat

      Always here x

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  8. Oh Ruby, i am going through a terrible time now. But your post gives me hope. Thank you so much for writing. This is the beginning of many more happy days to come.
    Love
    Pia

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  9. Oh, this is soooo lovely! I love horses so much and haven't ridden in years...too fat...ughhhh! However, just reading this wonderful post has given me hope. Thank you so much, Ruby!

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  10. Oh, nooooooooo, I made a big mistake with saying that fat remark....I am so sorry!

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  11. I'm loving the sound of equine therapy. It sounds like they've really hit the nail on the head! Having something to look forward to really does help. The potential for volunteer work/just hanging around is awesome!

    Love <3
    xxxx

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Thank you for leaving some love x