Saturday, 21 May 2016


I started out the weekend with a riding lesson this morning 
I was back on Princess
But I had a new instructor 
A Scottish girl called Roisin 
Who was lovely
Straight away 
I was having problems getting Princess started 
She was walking at her own leisurely pace 
And was paying very little attention to the fact that I was kicking her over and over 
Roisin said that I looked nervous 
And I felt it
So I'm sure the horse felt it too
I think I am not kicking hard enough
I think I'm kicking strongly 
But it's probably only a tap to the horse 
Eventually I got her trotting 
Although she was pre-empting my directions all the time 
Roisin wanted to work on my position and balance 
So after trotting for a while 
We walked and trotted with my feet out of the stirrups 
The key thing was to relax my legs 
And let them hang 
Which in turn would help my balance 
Then we trotted standing up
And sitting down slowly 
The she told me to drop the reigns completely 
I thought she was joking At first 
But she wasn't 
I felt really nervous to do this 
Especially in trot 
First Roisin told me to lift one hand 
And then the other 
I was doing it!
Trotting with no hands 
It was a real confidence boost 
Roisin said that at the start of the lesson 
I looked stressed and worried 
But by the end of it 
I felt a lot more comfortable 
I did a full hour lesson today
And am now wrecked 
It was great though 
I thoroughly enjoyed it 
And Roisin told me that we can go down to the beach to ride some day
That would be so awesome 
I've always wanted to ride a horse on a beach 
I've always thought it looks so elegant and beautiful 
So that's something to look forward to
In other news 
Life is going pretty well at the moment 
I feel good 
Mood is stable 
I feel steady in myself 
I feel like I am enjoying rather than enduring it
Life is to be enjoyed 
I know that no one is deliriously happy all the time 
Happiness is not a constant thing 
But it is definitely possible to have moments 
And those moments are enough to keep me going 

That's all for today folks 
If there is any topic you would like to see written about 
Do let me know 
I feel like I am writing less and less about my ED addiction
I guess now I am living my life 
Rather than spectating 
And letting life pass me by 
I feel like I am actively participating in my own life now 
And that is so great 
I feel hopeful
I feel positive 
I feel alive....


  1. I'm glad you are enjoying riding so much. I was terrified when they made us do the first lesson without saddle or bridle. A few years ago when Lil Sis was still doing lessons, they asked me if I wanted to ride this one horse Dora for free--the only catch was no saddle (I forget the reason). I was terrified all over again, but then I was like hey free horseback riding.

    Dora was lovely, but it was like trying to ride a sofa. She was MASSIVE, and not very keen to even walk at a reasonable pace. Turns out they really just wanted her to get as much exercise as possible, as she was so lazy they only really used her for the really small children just starting out.

    Princess sounds like she earned her name. ^_^ When my psycho riding instructor would get angry at me when I couldn't get the horses to cooperate, I used to want to tell her you try forcing 2000 pounds of anger and metal feet to do what it doesn't want to do. Sounds like you have a lot of nice instructors; that's always good.

    I hope you get to ride on the beach soon. Make someone take a video!!


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