Friday, 20 May 2016


Because I was in Dublin on Wednesday 
I had horse riding today instead
I got up early 
To walk the dogs and sort their food out so Mam could just give it to them at lunch time
Then I headed in to town to meet Fintan
He picked me up in town at about 10 30am
And we headed out to Keash
The last couple of weeks 
I noticed that Fintan buys a bar of chocolate on the way out
And he eats two squares before riding 
And two squares after riding 
So today I had a bar of chocolate for him
To thank him for driving 
We chatted on the way out 
And arrived in Keash in plenty of time for our riding lesson
We donned our hats and boots 
I was on Star as usual 
And Fintan was on Leroy
A beautiful elegant horse 
For a change 
Myself and Star were in front 
And Star took to it lovely 
We also did a lot of cantering today 
Which was amazing 
I did three canters today 
And it is such a buzz!
I love it! 
And it feels great to be making progress 
We finished our lesson 
And made a cup of tea
I was chatting to the two girls who were in after me 
And they couldn't believe I was only riding a couple of months 
That was lovely to hear 
And it's true 
I've come a long way in a short time 

Last week 
When I told Fintan about my blog 
He asked me to send him the link 
I was hesitant to 
As it is so personal 
And I wasn't sure if I wanted to share it with someone who is in my real life
For some reason
I would prefer strangers to read my blog
Rather than people I know 
Because I can't worry or disappoint strangers 
I would be worried that someone I know would be shocked or scared reading my blog
I write my blog as if no one was going to read it 
Because if I thought about the amount of people reading my blog 
I would never post a word 
So I texted Fintan to let him know that I was a bit wary of sending him the link
Then today he apologised for asking for the link
He said he would never read anything without asking me first 
I was really grateful for his understanding 
And I really do believe that he will respect my wishes and not read my blog 
I did show him the little piece that Healthline wrote about my blog
He was delighted for me 

Tomorrow I have another lesson in the morning 
Which I am really looking forward to 
Something I have noticed recently 
Is that when I don't eat 
I feel very strange 
So really these days 
I need to make myself eat something 
Whether I  hungry or not 
Because I feel faint and not with it when I don't eat 
Note to self: Remember to eat!!

That's all for today folks
See you on the next post...


  1. I got in a bit of bother about writing my blog this week, so I completely understand your hesitance about sharing your blog.

    Wonderful to read about your riding progressing so well, I am most envious of you!!

    Sending lots of love xoxo

    1. Oh no Annie
      What hAppebed?
      I know it's a tricky one
      I actuAlly find it easier to let strangers read than people I know

      I'm loving the riding so much
      Is it something you'd like to do? X

    2. My psychiatrist called me to say she read my blog which just so happened that day to say that she sprung an appointment on me. She said Wednesday was ward round day, but I didn't know that because I've seen her on different days. She seemed really miffed with me.

      I used to have horses. I'm not sure whether I would find it triggering or not...

  2. I'm glad you share your blog with us!! I'm the same way about mine sometimes. I've shared it with several people in real life and that has definitely changed the way I write. I love it when my audience is only strangers.

    It sounds like you are a natural with horse riding. :)

    1. I hope I am SW
      I love it so much

      You seem in really great place
      And I am so delighted for you x

  3. Several people in my online life have crossed over to real life, but I don't let it happen the other way around. Most people are far to dense or uneducated about the problems that we face with addiction, eating disorders, anxiety, depression... it hurts too much to let someone in that deep and find out they are not who you thought.

    1. True Tempest
      That's why I'm so wary of letting people in my real life in to my virtual life
      It would be different if my blog wasn't so personal
      Like if it was about cooking or something
      But you are right
      People are ignorant about EDs x

  4. I feel the same way about preferring that only strangers read my blog. I did have a previous blog that friends could read, but one of them sent the link to my parents. That's how they found out about my eating disorder. So now several friends know I have a blog, but they don't know where or any details. Thankfully, nobody has asked. I think they understand that it's personal.

    1. Gosh
      That was a sky thing to do
      Why would some one send a link to your blog?
      I don't understand people sometimes
      I'm glad you have a safe blog now though x


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