9 To 5....

Today is a glorious day

Today is utterly marvellous 

Because today 

Today I have a day off

A much needed day off

I don't even have horse riding today 

It's now 11am

And the whole day stretches before me 

With a whole lot of nothing to do

I woke up this morning with a start 

Thinking about what I had to do today

Usually if I'm working or heading off somewhere 

I get up an hour early to walk the dogs

I always make sure they get a walk

As they are hyper if they don't 

So I woke up this morning 

Then had the most delicious feeling 

When I realised that I had sweet f#*k all to do today 

I slept in until 8 30am people!

It was utter bliss

And it's great to feel like I earned my day off

I swear I am sleeping the best I ever have 

I can't make it past 10pm these nights 

I don't even read before going to bed 

I got up 

All the while enjoying the feeling that I had no where to be 

And nothing to do 

I had breakfast with my sister 

Then got dressed and headed out with Honey and Lea 

I try and bring them out early these days 

As it gets too hot during the day for them 

So

I piled the dogs in to the back of my car 

And we headed for the beach 

Where we had a lovely walk

Honey is looking like quite a character these days 

Her fur is long and shaggy 

She has one eye 

And ahe needs a good wash

She's like a little old lady 

And at the grand ol' age of eleven 

I guess she is 

After our walk 

I did a bit of shopping 

Before heading home

Yesterday 

I was in work in the morning 

To meet the other staff members 

They all seem lovely 

And again 

Georgina went through some policies and procedures 

It's great that she is so clear and direct 

Sometimes I need things spelled out for me 

Just so I am absolutely certain about what I need to do 

As I was standing there 

Side by side with my fellow workers 

I felt a great swell of pride 

I felt like now I am a working woman 

Part of the work force 

Part of a team 

Contributing to society 

And earning my keep 

It's been a long time since I had that feeling 

Like I am strong and independent 

Taking care of my own side of the street 

Earning money 

Maybe even treating myself to a little something 

When I get my first pay check

I have promised my Mum and sister that I will bring them out for dinner 

I can't wait to do that 

To give back some of the love and kindness that they show me all the time 

I am back in work tomorrow 

And I have 8 hour shifts every day until Tuesday 

So I really am being thrown in at the deep end 

But I guess that's the best way to learn 

I am super excited to start 

I was incredibly nervous and anxious 

But I just feel ready 

Ready to work 

And work hard 

There's nothing more I can learn 

With being on a live shift 

I've done all the theory I can 

It's time to put it in to practise

As for confidence?

Well 

I think it's a fake it till I make job

So this is it 

I'm starting work 

I can't quite believe it 

If you had told me a year ago that I would be starting work this summer 

A real proper grown up job

I would not have believed you 

In fact I would have laughed at you 

I was in such a dark place 

Since coming out of treatment two years ago 

I have been up and down and all over the place as far as my recovery was concerned 

But I think since Christmas 

I've been fairly steady and stable 

My weight is good 

My mood is also pretty good 

Starting horse therapy has been the catalyst I think 

It has literally been a life changer 

I've made new friends 

Real friends who just want the best for me 

I get to spend time with beautiful animals 

I get to learn a new skill 

I couldn't ask for more 

In AA and NA

They say that if you follow the programme 

You will obtain a life beyond your wildest dreams 

When I first heard this 

I thought it meant in terms of money and material gains 

Nice house 

New car 

Pretty clothes 

Plenty of money 

Now I know different 

Now I know that a life beyond your wildest dreams means something else 

It means being clean and sober 

Wanting to be clean and sober 

It means having peace of mind 

Which you just can't put a price on 

It means feeling good about myself 

Liking 

Even loving myself 

It means getting through the day without hurting myself or anyone else 

It has precious little to do with money 

So 

Please say a little prayer for me 

They I get on well in my new job 

Please send some positive vibes my way 

It's so exciting to have something positive to write about 

Please take comfort in the fact that I have come from a very dark place 

And know that it is possible to live a life without ED or addiction

Right 

I'm off to make a cup of tea 

And soak up some sun

Have a good Wednesday ya'll 

And I'll see you on the next post....