Tuesday, 14 June 2016


I've been working for the last few days 
And today I am free
As I am for the next few days
I swear
I am so confused with the days since I started working 
So I am a bit all over the place in that respect
Work is going well
I am basically left to my own devices
It's great that I have no one looking over my shoulder 
I just get on with my work
And pretty much do my own thing
There was a new crowd in this week
A group from Dublin
These people were a little bit special 
But they were the nicest people you could meet 
They were mostly men 
But there were three ladies too
13 altogether 
It was great because some of the men actually helped us serve dinner 
When the chef sent it up to the dining room in the dumb waiter 
They were there waiting to hand it out to people 
My first day there 
I kept mixing up their names 
And it wasn't until my last day yesterday that I was really getting to know them
There was the lady who liked a few drinks and came on to the night porter 
The man who paced up and down constantly 
The man who had corn flakes for breakfast, lunch and tea
The man who ate and ate and was constantly asking for cups of tea
And the man who was my secret favourite 
He was so polite 
And one day told me that I was a 'shining star'
How nice is that?
But really 
They were mentally unwell 
And some of their stories would break your heart 
I leave work every day feeling very grateful for my mental and physical health 
There was one man who had been severely mentally damaged from drugs 
He had also been in the army 
He came looking for tea a lot 
And put a ton of sugar in it
But all in all 
They were a pleasure 
I said good by to them all 
And again 
I got hugs and kisses and thank yous 
But that wasn't the last time I saw them 
I was walking Lea through town this morning 
And we called in to the holiday centre 
Some of the men were there 
And they all wanted to rub Lea
But if course she barked her head off 
Which I knew she would because she is nervous with strangers 
It was nice to see them though 
You really form bonds and relationships with these people 
And they are the best of craic

I've just been in to see my doctor 
Nothing to report there 
Just in and out 
Just the way I like it
So I am now just sitting in the pharmacy waiting for my script 
All in all
Things are going quite well 
Work is keeping me honest 
My dogs are keeping me sane 
And my horse riding is keeping me fulfilled and excited 
So I really can't complain 
I now eat two of my meals in work 
I have my breakfast after the guests have theirs 
Then I have my lunch while the guests are eating theirs 
Yesterday I ate a fish dinner 
And didn't even think of purging 
Which is pretty amazing given where I was a few short months ago 
It's great though 
Work takes me out of my own head 
And I don't have time to think and over think
It is also massively helping with my confidence 
Chatting to people 
And meeting new people every week
Is really helping me to shake off my shyness and really engage with others 
So yes 
I am really enjoying work 
Of course 
It is hard work 
I'm on my feet all day 
Running up and down stairs 
Brushing mopping 
Dealing with inquiries 
Serving food 
Collecting dishes 
It's tough going 
But I love it 
The day flies in as I'm so busy 
And of course it is so brilliant to get a pay cheque every week
It's all very well being on disability 
And having money for doing nothing 
But earning it is so satisfying 
And good for my self esteem
So it's so good to be able to say that I am now working 
I am now earning my own money 
Paying my own way 
Contributing to society 
I think it came at exactly the right time 
Any sooner 
And I might not have been ready 
Because it is run by a charity 
It's not profit driven 
It's all about providing a holiday for people who might ordinarily get a holiday 
To really treat them 
And make a fuss of them
It gives me great satisfaction to know that I am helping make their holiday an enjoyable one 
That I am making a difference 

So yes 
All is good 
I am good 
And I am so grateful for that 
I am even more accepting of my body 
I am toning up around my shoulders and arms due to the horse riding 
And my legs feel tighter too
So that makes dressing a less stressful experience 

I'm off for a cuppa and a little rest 
See you on the next post....


  1. WONDERFUL :) !

  2. No question about it...this job is the place for you. It seems to really fit with where you are in life right now. I'm so happy for you! Enjoy your cuppa and your rest. :)

    1. Thanks SW
      I think so too
      It's perfect to ease me back in to the working world
      I am s grateful for this opportunity

      Hope you are well too x

  3. Ruby!!! <3 Reading this made me so happy. I am so glad that things are slotting in place for you, you deserve all this wonderfulness.
    Your job sounds amazing and perfect for you.
    I'm so glad you are happy.
    Take care my dear, and thank you for your lovely comment on my blog ^^
    Mandy xx

    1. Aw thanks Mandy
      It does seem like the jigsaw puzzle that it my life is coming together
      It's only taken me nearly 35 years!!
      So good to have you back
      You have been missed x

  4. good for you ruby! wow how things have changed for you,feel proud jo xx

    1. I know Jo!
      This has all happened quite suddenly
      And it feels like my life is whizzing forward
      In a good way though
      And I am loving it

      How are you doing? X

  5. Ruby, I'm just so proud of you, just bursting with pride at your marvellous achievements xoxo

  6. Hey you sound quite well suited to the work. Like i imagine your life experiences have helped you have compassion and understanding. Shelby xoxo

    1. I think so Shelby
      I feel great empathy for these people
      And my own struggles make me they but more understanding
      And I learn lots from them
      They are truly special x

  7. I always get so worn out from work and my internship because I'm at the same place for both and it's a treatment center. I swear, you can't make up some of the things I hear and learn there. One girl is so addicted to alcohol that she's drank hand sanitizer and was absolutely plastered, but she's doing better now. Some people have been horribly sexuality and physically abused and so it leaves me pondering how some are able to bounce back from it and how some really struggle for a good chunk of their lives, but I'm grateful every day for the strides I've made in my own mental health.

    You know Ruby, about four years ago, maybe five, I started reading your blog and you weren't okay in the slightest. I think you were in some of the darkest times and I can't tell you how much joy it brings me to see where you are now, exploring yourself and working, riding, doing all these things that were just lines of text saying "I should". Well, now you are, and that's freaking amazing.
    I love you lots and I'm so proud of you. I really think you're an inspiration.

    1. Aw Eve
      Thank you so much for your kind words
      This made my heart swell
      We have known each other a long time
      And you are part of my story
      As I am of yours
      It means the world that you have witnessed my journey from illness to recovery
      You have always been a force for good
      And the voice of reason and commen sense
      I love your honesty too
      You are a beautiful person
      And thank you again
      You just made my day
      Hope you see this reply x


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