Saturday 6 August 2016

Injury

I was off work for a few days last week
As the centre was quiet and I wasn't needed
However
Georgina rang me on Wednesday 
And asked if I could do the house keeping shift the following day
I jumped at the chance 
As I need the hours 
And would be glad of the money 
So I arrived in to work for 10am
Prepared for a full day of hard work 
I got straight in it 
Stripping beds 
Changing sheets 
Replenishing towels 
I was on my own 
But Georgina was up and down to me 
I was following her out of one of the rooms 
And I was kind of trailing my fingers on the door 
When the door closed
And it closed on my thumb 
These are not any ordinary doors 
They are big heavy fire doors 
That close themselves 
So the door closed on my left thumb
I felt the pain
My thumb being utterly squashed 
Georgina was ahead of me 
But I couldn't get the words out 
To tell her I was stuck
But fair play to her 
When she saw the look on my face 
She realised what had happened 
She had to come around me 
To open the door and release my thumb 
It was only seconds 
But it felt like an eternity 
I looked at my thumb
It was all squashed and twisted looking 
Georgina immediately told me to hold it under cold water 
While she ran and got ice 
I couldn't really think straight 
I think I was in a bit of shock 
Another worker and the chef came up to me 
Which was nice of them 
I headed down to the dining room
To drink a cup of sugary tea
And to sit and hold the ice to my poor thumb
After sitting for a while 
I went over to the other centre 
Where a very kind woman called Denise coveted my thumb in arnica 
To help prevent bruising 
But still
My thumb was turning black as we watched it
To be safe 
Denise rang the doctor 
And they told her to send me over 
I went and collected my bag 
And we drive over 
Even though it was only down the road 
In the mean time 
I rang my mam 
Who happened to be shopping in town 
So she made her way over to me 
wasn't waiting long in the doctors 
It wasn't my usual doctor 
But it was Nice Woman Doctor 
So that was good 
She examined my thumb
Asked me to give a thumbs up
Which I couldn't really do 
I also couldn't really bend it
She said there was 40% chance that the bone was broken 
And said if it got any worse 
To go into casualty 
So she gave me a letter to give radiology 
And told me to go home 
And keep an eye on it 

So having barely worked a couple of hours 
I was heading home for the rest of the day 
I felt really pissed off
As I felt I was letting people down 
But hey 
What could I do?
I would have been no addition to them in work 
And I could have further injured myself 
So I took it easy for the set of the day 
My thumb was sore 
But it was pain I could bear
So I was pretty sure that it wasn't broken
And I was back in work yesterday 
And today 
The season is kind of winding down now. 
And we are not as busy 
I love being in work on a Friday 
As I get to meet everyone checking in
And it's easier to remember faces and names 
At least I find easier 
There are a lovely bunch staying with us this week 
Some real characters 
And this is what I love about my job 
I get to meet a whole range of different people 
From tiny tots to the elderly
Disabled people 
Mentally unwell people 
From all over 
And from all walks of life
It really opens my mind 
And reminds me that there is a whole wide world out there 
And most of all 
It takes me away from myself 
From ruminating 
Procrastinating 
From obsessing about one thing or another 
I am so busy at work 
That I don't get a chance to worry over my own stuff 
Which is great 
I really love my job though
I love everything about it 
My co workers 
My manager 
The guests 
Everyone is so lovely 
It's like this job was made for me 
It's busy 
But not stressful 
It's demanding emotionally 
But I can handle that 
And am able to leave work at work when I leave 
Most of the time anyway 
I am just so grateful that Georgina gave me a chance 
Because that's exactly what I needed 
Someone to see past the illness 
The addiction 
The struggles I have 
And give me a chance to grow and blossom and flourish 
Georgina is an incredible lady 
So passionAte about her work 
And that runs off on me 
I am definitely learning a lot from her 
In lots of areas 
How to deal with people
Sticky situations 
How to multitask 
How to work smarter instead of harder 
And my work is not just a job 
We provide holidays for people who might not ordinarily get one 
We help financially 
And we are there to chat and to listen 
It runs like a hotel 
But it's not really a hotel 
It's a house 
And everyone is welcome 
I really feel privileged that I get to help a family or a group enjoy their holiday 
I love chatting to the guests 
And probably do it a bit too much 
But look 
If it helps them
I am more than happy to sit and listen 
Some people just want someone to talk to 
And often times it's easier to speak to someone whose not directly involved in the situation 
So yes
I  am happy out at the moment 
Before I know it 
The summer will be over 
And do will my job 
I will really miss it though 
Even though Georgina said if anything came up
She would keep me in mind 
So hopefully something will

I need to tell you 
I feel in a really good place at the moment 
Life couldn't be better 
Of course I get days when I don't want to get out of bed 
When everything I try on makes me look huge 
When I just want to sit and cry my eyes out
But everyone gets these days 
I am not special 
I am human 
And as humans we have bad days 
And that's perfectly ok
It's normal 
Show me a person who never has a bad day 
And I will eat my own foot 
My happiness at the moment is not connected to my weight 
Or the fact I am self medicating 
It's an inner happiness 
That comes from feeling good about myself 
From work hard 
Both at my job 
And at my recovery 
I know I'm lucky 
I have a strong family around me
Some amazing friends and co workers 
I couldn't ask for more
I remember from AA
There are 12 promises 
And one of them is that you will find a life beyond your wildest dreams
It's not about money 
Or material gains 
It's about living a real and authentic life 
From opening my heart and my mind 
From feeding myself good food 
From not weighing myself 
From being the best person I can be 
So today 
I urge you 
For one day 
Let go of your vice 
See what life is like without it 
I promise you 
The feeling of contentment I have 
Is better than any drug
Any number on a scale 
It's a feeling that I am ok
More than ok 
That I'm going to make it 
Despite everything I have been through 
I still want to live my life 
I still want to carry on
You can't ask for more than that...

5 comments:

  1. I hope your thumb gets better soon xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ouch! :( I'm squirming just thinking about it. I got my fingers slammed in a car door when I was about five. Never again!
    I hope you get the x-ray done, just in case. Better safe than sorry, right?

    Lots of love <3
    xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your blog is extremely brilliant. Quality contents are here.
    Ruby jobs in London

    ReplyDelete
  4. hey Ruby, love, i hope that you're feeling a bit better now! just letting you know that i'm thinking of you and i'm so so glad that things are still going well for you. it is not your fault that you got hurt and it is definitely not something you should feel guilty for!

    i love you darling xxx :) take care of yourself!




    -Sam Lupin

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