Saturday, 28 January 2017

Coco and Lea....BFFs

I visited Coco a couple of times this week
On Thursday with my Mam, the owner, Ruby the dog and Lea
And today just me and Lea
Coco and Lea are fast becoming besties 
Coco loves her
And follows her around the field 
Today they were running and frolicking 
It was just adorable
I brought a flask of tea 
And Coco thought this was fascinating!
As I drank my tea 
Lea lay down beside me
And Coco came over and started to groom her 
I just love how well they are getting on
After Lea's spinal diagnosis 
We were worried for her future 
But she seems to have found a new lease of life with her new buddy Coco
After a bit of investigating 
I have finally found out who owns the little white pony down the road
I have a phone number for him
It's a work number 
So I will try ringing on Monday 
I bought my first pair of 'country boots' this week
They are brown and are really a glorified welly
But they do the job out in the fields and in the yard
So yes 
The city girl in me is well and truly dead
I am now a country girl
And proud of it!

In other news 
I weighed myself this week
I don't know why 
But I was curious 
Seeing the number 
I was indifferent 
It meant nothing 
It wasn't good 
It wasn't bad 
It was what it was 
A number that holds no pleasure or pain for me anymore 
I think that is good 
I now appreciate my body a lot more 
It's strong 
It's capable 
It's able 
It allows me to go so much 
I'm no longer a physically weak girl 
Now I walk
I run
I ride horses 
I lift
I carry 
I fill out my clothes 
And I love it
But it isn't that long ago that I was in a bad place 
I know how it feels to have no hope 
No belief 
No faith
No reason to go on never mind recover 
In my that place it is incredibly difficult to take that first step in to recovery 
It's terrifying 
And the disorder that was a comfort zone 
Has now become a hiding place 
Anything beyond it I'd too much 
And too scary 
But I have to tell you 
If you do manage to take that first step 
The rewards are instant and massive 
Bigger and better than you could ever believe 
Your physical health will improve 
You will feel better 
You will think clearer 
You will make more sense 
Life will make more sense 
You will begin to see that there is life beyond the disorder 
No matter how deep you are in
It's just a matter of having the courage to shut your eyes 
Clench your fists
Lift one foot 
And take that first step 
You won't regret 
I promise you that 

I am now pretty sure that I did the right thing leaving my course 
I have no regrets 
And I am involved with horses more than ever now 
I am content 
I have moments of happiness 
I am ok 
I am ok

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