Sunday, 25 May 2014

Happiness is......

Thinking back to this day in 2006

Not worrying about how fat I look in this picture

Happiness is hanging out with my nephew

Not hiding at home binging and purging

Happiness is spending time with my two best girls

Not seeing a low number on the scale

Happiness is spending time at my favourite beach

Not squeezing in to a pair of size zero jeans

Happiness is having a lazy day at home

Not feeling that I have to do a certain amount of exercise every day

Happiness is seeing my nephew's new born kittens

Not denying myself food and water

Happiness is the first smoke of the day

Not isolating myself every day

Happiness is writing about my eating disorder

Not living it

What is happiness to you?


  1. this is a beautiful post.
    you are a beautiful person.
    and you have such a gorgeous face. i'm in love with your hair colour and your hair, missy miss.

    happiness to me is too long to explain.
    it is the hope that manifests in me, it is the sound of laughter, the sight of colours - sometimes, i just realise i can see. and that i can see colours. and that i was given the gift of sight. or the gift of sound. and i cannot take it anymore because the world is so beautiful. so, so beautiful. and i'm living in it.
    and i'm alive.
    and i cannot be any more grateful.
    that is happiness to me. <3

    as a reply to the comment you left on my blog:
    i'll take care of me, it's alright.
    you take care of you, as well, alright? <3 <3 <3

    -Sam Lupin

    1. I get that too
      Moments of happiness
      Although I find it difficult to maintain

      I tried to follow your blog but I couldn't see how

      I hope you will take good care of you, you are precious x

  2. oh my god. oh my god.

    speaking of what is happiness, i was just looking at your "the girl" tab, and it made me smile. and then i got to the last bit where you had the "before" and "after" pictures thing and i just started to SMILE SO MUCH.

    oh my god i am so happy.

    thank you.

    -Sam Lupin

  3. This is such a marvellous post Ruby. It makes me happy that you have happiness, something so difficult to find. I don't even know what true happiness is any more. Loads of love and strength xx

    1. I can't say I am happy all the time Angharad, but I do find moments of it
      I wish I could say or do something that would ease your pain but I know only too well that we have to go through this and come out of it all in our own time

      Keep fighting my friend, please keep fighting x

  4. I had shivers while reading this's so breathtaking. Happiness for me was laughing and looking into my love's eyes. Those eyes that ran away from me leaving me hurt and hopeless.
    lots of love and happiness to deserve it


Thank you for leaving some love x