Monday, 26 May 2014

To be anonymous or not to be anonymous

That is the question
A kind reader left a comment on my blog this morning expressing concern that I am being increasingly open on my blog
I guess I am
I am posting a lot of photos
I include my family
Most of the time I write a post
Publish it
And don't give it a second thought
But recently I have
And I have deleted some posts this past week

I am completely honest and open on this blog
At first I was anonymous
I never posted photos
But over time I have shared more and more
I write about some gritty subjects
And I am not one to sugar coat things
But this blog now gets almost 600 hits a day
Maybe I do need to be more careful

This reader pointed out that posting photos of my nephew may not be  a good idea
I do have his mother's permission
But I must admit I never really thought about what would happen if one of his friends saw this blog and linked it to him
I would hate to implicate my nephew in any way

The reader also pointed out that my blog may effect future employment
To be honest this had never even cross my mind
I don't think that far ahead
But I guess it's something to be mindful of

So this is my dilemma
I want to be honest
I want to give a true and open account of what life is like for me
Being a recovering addict and eating disordered
This blog has documented the past 2 years of my life
Warts and all
I would hate to have to delete it all
This blog has saved my life many times
I'm not ashamed of my story
Or my life
And if anyone judges me on that, well that's up to them
All I can do is tell my story as best as I can

So I was wondering about you?
Where do you stand on the anonymous versus open blog debate?
Do you put photos on your blog?
If yes/no why?
Please do let me know


  1. I am 100% open, I think it up to each individual how much they want to share... and if you have someones permission it is between you and them... I can't decide what is good for other people, only what is good for me... I think you should do what you feel comfortable with Ruby... Have a great day :)

    1. Thanks for this Launna
      I just wanted to get a feel for what people thought about this
      I am mostly fine with what I post
      I guess I just got a bit paranoid after that comment
      But I had been feeling it a bit anyway

      Have a great day too! x

    2. I think it's good you are open about your story. Secrets keep you sick.

    3. Thanks Shannon, I agree with you x

  2. I think open blogs are good and I am open. I posted a photo and will do so when I bother to. I use my blog as a place to vent and motivate myself as the primary purpose and I don't really mind if others see it. It's really up to you what you want to do.

    -Christie :)

    1. Thanks Christi
      Yes, I have no problem with my photo being posted
      I guess I will take more care when posting others photos

      Hope you're well x

  3. Dear Ruby, I never wanted to make you paranoid! I did not mean it in a bad way at all. It is great to be open and honest, but we might publish on impuls what we could regret later. It is just that PICTURES can be tracked down so easily today! I would not want my future employer or University proffessor to know that I once was a drug addict or a mental health sufferer unless I wanted this to define me for the rest of my life.
    You never know what people might use against you or your loved ones. And the internet does not forget. Please do not do yourself harm, that was all I was saying.
    I also meant that when you post pictures of people and the writing clearly labels them as former drug addicts or eating disorder victims it would be nice to ask them for permission before you do, because this is quite a tough thing to be dealt with in public but i am sure you do.
    I am a faithfull silent reader of your blog, i return often and i really hope you will get better and that one day you will be able to share other, happier things with us, I am not a native English speaker, but I think you are a great writer! Please do not feel paranoid, I do not have a blog, but i have been thinking about starting one.
    All the best,

    1. I know Julia and I really do thank you for your concern
      I guess it just made me stop and think and I did get a little paranoid as first but I am on now
      I know you mean well, really I do

      Thank you for reading and for caring enough to bring this to my attention
      I really do appreciate it


      Ruby x

  4. Well, my blog is not as open as yours. I did think about carreer, employement etc, but for me, I just don't like the thought of everybody knowing my most vulnerable things. But maybe that's also because I myself am ashamed. I just don't know.
    Which doesn't mean I think there's something wrong with being open, but, I do agree with the person making you aware that you should keep in mind that not everybody is as openminded and has as much respect and dignity as you....


    1. Thanks for this
      I really appreciate getting your opinion
      I guess it's something to be mindful of
      I know I will be from now on

      Hope you're doing well

      Love right back at ya x

  5. Your question is really hard to answer to. I decided to write using nicknames and without posting my personal pics just because many people still don't understand our problems and pretend to judge. I don't think this can affect my credibility and I'm completely honest on my blog...the only place where I can be....but I admire your choice.

    1. Thanks Anya
      Yes I don't use my real name at all
      I guess I like to keep something for myself

      I'm going to check out your blog now x

  6. Hi Ruby, I have often thought about this when contemplating starting a blog but because of where my career is right now, I just can't risk it. However, that is really an utterly futile thought of mine when I am so uncertain about whether or not I can live this life. And I guess what I would say to you now is that if writing this blog and being as (incredibly refreshingly) honest and open as you are is helping you to stay alive and get someway towards recovery, surely that's the most important thing right now? A career won't happen if you're not around to do it! Just my little thoughts cxx

    1. Thanks for this C
      You know, I 'm not ashamed of my life story
      But I did have some pictures of former friends up and I guess that it not a clever thing to do
      I just did it without thinking
      I will keep it in mind from now on

      Hope you are well C x

  7. I did make the mistake of sharing things I didn't mind some knowing but didn't want my parents to know. This ended in problems because a friend emailed them the link (not my current one. I shut that journal down). It's a different situation because you are much more open, which honestly I do wish I had been this whole time. I guess my point if I have one is that you can't predict who gets the information. For my own, I am not concerned about employers because they'd have to really try to find the information, but family could be a problem for me if any of them found it. That's not a real risk if it's not harmful information though or in my case if they'd have to find it by chance. I really don't think this stuff spreads like people say it does unless you post your real name and actual offensive or inappropriate stuff. It only spreads to people immediately related. In my case, that was a big deal. In others, it's nothing. I've known lots who post photos with friends or family but include maybe a first name only. Not enough to google, but enough to make sense when reading other entries

    1. Gosh that wasn't very nice of that 'friend' to email the link to your parents
      I guess my family all know about my blog
      I let them read it sometimes
      And I know my sister reads it
      But I tend to write my blog like no one reads it
      I don't censor it

      Thanks for your 2 cents x

    2. Yeah, she did it because she was concerned I guess. I was actually more mad at my friend because giving them the link and my username meant I had to go back and make every entry private because I didn't want to actually delete everything and the site I was on made you do that for each entry individually. Such a pain.

      I stopped giving any friends the link after that because I'm like you in that I always wrote like no one read it. Though when I started a new one after that, it was mostly public and I had a lot of people reading it that I knew online but not in real life.

  8. My suggestion is to be careful with your nephew talk with your sister again just to get input. And when the time comes that you might be "googled" and you don't want this blog to be found then you can make it private if you think it's best. Everyone who reads would still be able to but no one new would find you while you are private. But really worry about that later, you have enough on your mind right now.

    1. I will do that Josie
      Just to be sure
      And yes, I can always make it private if I need to

      And you are right x

  9. as per this blog, i think you are open but i think the chances are slim. i think she just wanted you to be more so aware of everything. i'm hoping you're okay. this is your blog. do with it what you would like. i can't put in anything. i like you - and whether you are anonymous or not will not change that fact that i will still like you. if you feel comfortable posting pictures, post pictures. if you want to be a bit more cautious, then do so.
    i've no idea how employment goes back or anything.
    i think you can play around with settings and make it harder to search for definitely. though as Josie said, you can always make it private if you need to (do invite us in and let us read however xD). i've definitely been dabbling with the idea of making my own blog private as to be more open.

    keto refers to ketogenic. a ketogenic diet is a diet that is 50-70% fat, a good portion protein and a little bit of carbs. it's a way of restricting carbohydrates. Atkins is a ketogenic diet. for me, i have a TKD system in which i consume 25-50g carbs after working out so i have an exception to when i can have carbohydrates. i'm thinking of keeping it up for a long time and making it a default diet as i feel so good on it.
    and no, it's not a silly question! <3
    i'd die if my period stops for 10 years. i actually skipped my period once around recovery and it was a massive shock to me. i felt so...strange.
    and i hope you are well as well, Ruby darling. you're a gem <3.

    and you enjoy your day as well, gorgeous girl. you deserve the world.

    -Sam Lupin

  10. I think dealing with tough subject matter, forces a person toward anonymous status. I would like to post pictures and be more open but I don't want employers or family reading my posts. When ever someone that is talked about on my blog is aware of the blog, it ends badly. I usually end up moving.


Thank you for leaving some love x