Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Smoke and mirrors

Just wanted to take a minute to tell you
That I am now 10 weeks and 2 days off cigarettes
I think I can now safely call myself a non smoker

I was in my local shop today
Where I used to buy my smokes
Now I buy my white chocolate there instead
Not a another great habit
But at least it's less expensive
And less harmful
Cigarettes in this country went up another 40 cent this week
Bringing the cost of a pack of 20 up to 10 Euros
So glad I don't smoke any more
I just can't afford to pay over a tenner a day
For the privilege of killing myself
No thank you very much

Everyone is really shocked when I tell them that I have stopped smoking
I was such a dedicated and passionate smoker
I was a 30 a day girl
And I loved it
I really enjoyed smoking
I loved the first one of the day with a cup of tea
I loved the one that finished off a meal
I relished the last on before bed
I truly loved them

But alas
Nothing lasts forever
The habit had to be broken
As it was leaving me with all but a few Euro a week to survive on
I can't lie
I gave up for vanity reasons
Not for health reasons
Although they are a bonus
I gave up because I couldn't afford them any more
And I want to be able to buy clothes when ever I like
And that is a lot as you already know

I have to confess
There are times when I would kill for a smoke
The craving comes over me silently and suddenly
Like a tidal wave gathering speed
But I know if I just ride it out
It will pass
It always does

So that's the smoke part of this post done
Now on to the mirrors

I keep wanting to delete those photos from my last post
I feel I look gigantic
I can't stand to look in the mirror today
Today is a bad body image day
When all I want to do is hide under my duvet
And pretend I don't exist

This has been a very illogical and fragmented post
Congratulations to you if you have made it this far


  1. Woo hoo! Well done! Looks like it's nearly time to start counting in months.

    A pack of 20 recently went over $20AUD here (about 14 euro apparently). A dollar each! I smoke rollies, but even they're getting more expensive. A 50g pouch of tobacco runs about $40-50 now depending on the brand. Prices have doubled in the time I've been smoking, and that's only eight or nine years. It's ridiculous.

    I carry a lot of guilt and shame about the amount of money that literally goes up in smoke. I know my health should be my motivation, but finances are the only thing that've helped me to cut back in the past. I keep putting it off, but I know I should at least set a tentative date to stop. I'm gonna be a rich bitch when I quit.


    1. He he Bella
      I thought that I would be rich too when I gave them up
      But I have found other things to spend my money on
      Namely clothes
      But I guess it's better to spend money on them rather than smokes

      Love x

  2. congrats!! what an accomplishment!!! =)

  3. You know.... If you wóuld dissappeare, it would really ruin my world...

    1. Ah I won't I promise
      So good to hear from you
      How are you?
      I've missed you........ x

  4. hey
    congratulations on becoming ex smoker
    if you can work at that you can do anything dearie
    i wish i could do something to make this transition easier for you
    just know that you are beautiful
    please take care

    1. Your kind words and well wishes are more than enough Poppy
      Thank you x

  5. Congratulations on being a non smoker!


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