Sunday, 26 October 2014

The Weight Debate

I recently read an interview with the plus size model Ashley Graham
I had never heard of her before
But she is a model from the US who is a size 18
Not entirely sure if that is a US 18 or a UK 18
It was an English article
So I am presuming that she is a UK 18
Whatever size she is
She is smokin' hot

'Style has no size' Graham says
'I don't know how to be anyone but me. I was born with curves, I've never been a skinny person.My butt rolls, It's really out there'.
Graham has been modelling since she was 12 years old
And admits that in the past she had felt pressure to lose weight
She says 'Sure, I have been asked to lose weight, but I reckoned why? I'm healthy, and men have always liked me. Now I feel passionate about being a role model for young girls'.

Graham has two younger sisters
And her and some like minded friends have set up a web site and support group called Alda, which goes in to schools and colleges to talk to girls aged 13-26 about body image.
Graham is quick to point out that she doesn't promote obesity
'I'm not pro obesity, but I think beauty comes in many forms, and it breaks my heart to see girls being anorexic and bulimic in their teens. you can be fit and larger. Larger girls are accused of not being healthy, but lots of skinnies aren't at all healthy'.

The article on Graham was interesting
And it also posed the question if we are becoming more accepting of different body types
It mentioned Adele
Gabourey Sidibe
And Beth Ditto who are all challenging our perceptions of the perfect body type
And unless you have been living under a rock for the past few weeks
You will of course have heard Meghan Trainor's number 1 hit 'All about that bass'
An anthem for the larger lady
While I don't particularly like this song
And it does seem to shame on skinny women
I realize that it aims to send out a positive message for those who are not a 'silicone, stick figured barbie doll'
And I have to say
I don't think Meghan Trainor is particularly big
Yes, she is curvy
No doubt about that
And she challenges the perception of the skinny minnie pop starlet
Which is great
But don't hate on skinny girls
Body acceptance and positive body image is about celebrating every size
From the skinny to curvy and everything in between

I guess I am wondering
Are we becoming more accepting of different body sizes?
Have we moved away from craving bones?
Statistics of eating disorders show that we are not
And sufferers are getting younger and younger
However it seems that all body sizes are becoming more celebrated

Having recently developed my own set of curves
This interests me a lot
I was always pretty skinny
Straight up and down with no hips or boobs to speak of
It is only with this recent weight re gain
That I have acquired an impressive set of boobs
And a pair of hips to match
Not to mention a substantial bottom
At first I was at a loss as to what to do with them
I didn't know how to dress them
I didn't know if I should strap them down
Or put them on display
And one thing I really need to do is get properly fitted for a bra
As I have no idea what size I am
And have been living in sports bras since they appeared

Depending on the clothes shop
I am now between a size 8 and a size 12
I go for a 12 because I like a bit of room in my clothes
I have to admit though
Adjusting to this size has taken a lot of time and patience
And I still don't know if I am there yet
But when I see a beautiful smart woman like Ashley Graham
It makes me feel a lot better about my size
It shows me that you can be attractive whatever your size
And to realize that is amazing
It truly is

When I find someone attractive
It rarely has anything to do with their size
In fact it never has
Confidence is attractive
Loving and accepting is attractive
Being good at something is attractive
Being interesting
And attentive is attractive
There are so many things other than the size of a persons clothes that are attractive

For the first time in my 33 years on this earth
I am starting to appreciate my body
I am not starving it
I am not actively trying to shrink it
Or make it smaller or bonier or thinner
I am looking after it
I feed it
I water it
I exercise it
I rest it when it's tired
I listen to what it needs
And try my best to meet that need
This is all entirely new to me
I never cared about my health
I was a heroin addicted anorectic for Christ's sake
I spent most of my time trying to hurt, abuse and kill my body
Liking or dare I say it, loving my body is a whole new concept
But you know what?
It's so much more better than hating it

I was wondering about you
Do you think we are beginning to celebrate all body types?
How do you feel about your own body?
Are you trying to change it?
Or are you happy with it?
Inquiring minds want to know......


  1. I'm the curvy sort, even when I'm thin; boobs, hips, butt.... I want to be an asexual tomboy type, but nature decided differently :)

    1. It seems that we always want what we can't have CP
      I read once that happiness is not having what you want
      But wanting what you have
      Easier said than done though x

  2. I am very petite, well as I'm sure you've seen in my pictures. I'm 5 feet tall and pretty small, but I have huge boobs and a huge ass, I basically have the perfect silhouette that men are attracted to. I don't always love it, but I'm learning to. I've realized though, especially throughout my posts lately, that I've acquired a new following of friends, and I've realized it's because I'm just having fun and hanging out with them, and not worrying so much about what I look like. Whereas before, I thought people didn't like me because I looked ugly or fat that day, whereas it was probably i was being so quiet and self absorbed that no one wanted to hang out with me.
    I've also discovered that I love my friends because they are REAL. They don't have to be pretty every day, so they don't want to put make up on, or dress up, it makes me feel better because then I don't feel like I have to be perfect every day.

    I am trying to change my body, but not necessarily lose weight as just gain more muscle and become more toned, I just want to feel healthy and strong and look it as well. But I think that change is a positive change : )


    1. "the perfect silhouette that men are attracted to" men's taste differ just as body types do. thank god for that! ;)

    2. It's just amazing to watch you blossom Kay
      in to a beautiful young woman
      I'm so glad that you are making new friends
      And really living life
      You are doing better than me in that respect
      I am as you described yourself 'quiet and self absorbed' at the moment
      But I want more
      I know in the scheme of things I am insignificant
      I know that I have friends if I would just reach out to them
      It's so hard though
      But I know I need to do these things if I want to improve x

  3. to be honest i never really notice other peoples sizes,its the last thing on my mind when I'm talking to them which makes my own feelings even more ridiculous.i would say though i got less criticism and more acceptance when i was bigger which has been a surprise.i don't really care what others think its all inside if thats makes sense? can't bear to be full or out of control. the rest is somehow incidental.i don't think most people do judge someone on their size,unless there writing some mag etc..,and if they do its a bit sad and says more about themselves than anyone else.dont think we are the shallow ones! sorry to ramble on, jo x

    1. I agree with you Jo
      It's strange how we judge ourselves to such a high standard
      But we don't care how others look
      If only we could apply that to ourselves
      We would save ourselves so much heart ache x

  4. I think she looks fabulous. I never had a problem with my body image before developing anorexia (although I've always had a weird obsession with food). I was a skinny kid and grew into curvy but slim young woman. I've always been a little underweight, but I wore a 12F bra before I got sick and was very much an hourglass.

    Even though I'm not there now, I always preferred soft-and-curvy before I got sick, I never got sucked into the 'thin' obsession. But again I'm speaking only for me. I think I've told you before I'm weight-blind when it comes to other people.


    1. Yes I remember you saying that Bella
      I wish we were as kind to ourselves as we are to others
      We are so hard on ourselves
      I would just love to see what you look like when you are well
      I'm betting you are a stunner x

  5. It's strange even when i was sick i never really cared for others' sizes. i am precisely like Bella said "weight-blind when it comes to other people"
    I wish others would be the same, instead of sayings things like "real women have curves" - yes, of course, some of them have, but other do not have so many!
    Besides, i personally still cringe at the word "woman" (and i love to cringe at it!as it always implies having to be some sort of stereotype). I am feminine, most definitely. And feminity comes in all shapes, all sizes.

    hope you are doing ok.


    1. I think shaming either skinny or curvy women is equally wrong
      Us girls can never win

      I am ok Lilly
      I sent you an email earlier
      Did you get it? x

  6. Sometimes I feel like a linebacker, sometimes like a pear, and on rare and special moments like an hourglass. The only think I know for sure is I have a spectacular round butt and although it is part of the loose skin conundrum, for the most part I love it.

    How to decorate your new assets is totally up to you, but here's some advice on fitting and shopping! (this has a lot of links to other info, too)

    1. Thank you so much for this Tempest
      I am going too check these out right now
      I need help soo much!! x

  7. I am the same. I hardly notice other people's sizes, it's just my own that bothers me. But 'fat' is such a weird thing for me. At my smallest size I still felt as fat and disgusting as I do now. Nothing changed. I don't understand it??

    I have worked hard this year to stop behaviours and so have put on a lot of weight. I now have so much curves not only on my boobs and butt, but around my mid section as well. I'm back to my heaviest weight and I'm not used to it and I hate it. It's horrible to have an ED mind in a large body. I am still trying to think healthy thoughts and not try to lose weight. Instead I'm focusing on healthy eating and exercise to tone up. Fingers crossed if i can stop binging, maybe my body image can improve a lot too. I really hope that one day I can just accept my body as it is, just like the way I accept other people.

    Ps. Loving the pictures of your new clothes


Thank you for leaving some love x