Shout out!

Honey continues to improve every day
Yesterday morning when I opened the utility room door
She bounded out to greet me
And even went for a little walk
My Dad came down yesterday afternoon
And Honey was so delighted to see him
And her eye looks much better
The swelling has gone right down
The redness is gone
And you can actually see her eye now

But then I got a real fright
As when I looked at her
It looked like her eye was bleeding profusely
It was literally dripping from her eye
I wiped it with a cotton ball
And it wasn't blood
It was a black tar like substance
I was very concerned
So I rang my vet
Who said that this is normal
And it's all part of the healing process
I was so relieved
My Mum says that it is the 'poison' and the 'badness' coming out of her eye
I think she is right

After that I kept a close eye on Honey
Wiping her eye every so often
The buster collar is driving her bananas
But hopefully it can come off tomorrow
She has been thoroughly spoiled the last few days
Everyone has been so worried about
Because she is a big part of this family
And an important part
I for one would be lost without her

In other news
My ED behaviours have improved some
I'm not purging as much
But it is still there
Being the bane of my life that it always is
My Dad commented yesterday
That I look like I have lost more weight
I don't know if I have
As I have stopped weighing myself
I had to stop
It was becoming obsessive
I feel quite comfortable in my skin at the moment
I don't love my body
But I don't hate it either
I swing between being able to accept it
And absolutely hating
It can change from to the other depending on my mood

One thing that has really helped this week
Is the fact that my meds are being dispensed daily
Now I have no opportunity to mess around with them
And I feel more stable and grounded
More clear headed
I really needed to get back on track
And I am

I guess the last few weeks were a learning curve
I learned that a slip doesn't have to turn in to a relapse
That not doing everything perfect it ok
I've learned that recovery is a roller coaster
That it's ok to make mistakes
Everyone does
And that is where I learn

I met my friend this morning for a walk
We had a great chat
Compared Christmases
She also has addiction issues and an ED
So it's great  to be able to talk so someone who gets it
My family is great
But they don't really get it

So it is now 2015
My goals are to continue to not smoke
To save a bit of money every week
To do part of the Camino before the year is out
And to keep on top of my recovery

By the way
This is a shout out
A girl called Beatrice emailed me yesterday
I am so sorry Beatrice
But I deleted your email by mistake
Could you send it again
As I really want to reply to you