New Day

It's a new day

And I am determined to snap out of this funky mood I am in

I hate Sunday's

I always have

It was always the day before going back to school or work

And as anyone who suffers from anxiety will know 

The anticipation of the event is always far worse than the event itself

But there are other things on my mind that I don't really want to write about

But I will mention

The Boy 

The less said about him the better

And my weight 

Ditto

So let's move right along

Something I have noticed recently

Is that our little community here seems to be getting smaller and smaller

I look through my blog roll

And see that so many bloggers have disappeared

Vanished off the face of the blogosphere

And I can't remember the last time I followed a new blog

I'm wondering why this is

Is blogger old news?

Did these missing bloggers get well and tell their demons to f**k right off?

I truly hope so

Maybe they out grew blogger

Maybe they recovered and don't need this community any more

Maybe their lives are so full and rich that they don't have time to blog any more

Or maybe they are so sick they can't write

Maybe they are in treatment or hospital

Maybe they died

I think back to when I first started blogging almost three years ago

And blogger was a hive of activity

And it was so exciting to be part of it

But now

It just seems so quiet

Do you remember Rayya?

Winter?

Thinderella who I got very close to and then she dropped off the face of the earth 

I hope and pray that these girls are ok

We are now a small and intimate community

And it makes me appreciate the ones who are left so much more

We are a tight bunch

And I love that

Yesterday was tough

But I got through it with the help

Of some beautiful bloggers

Who are always there just when I need them

It was my sisters and my dads birthday this week

So we all went out for dinner last night

To a restaurant in the village

For me 

Going out to dinner had always been a waste

I mean I don't want to pay for a meal that will inevitably end up in the toilet

We chose the early bird menu

Three courses for €26

Although it was more like 5 courses

First they brought out bread

Then an amuse Bouche which  was delicious 

For starter I had vegetable soup

It was a nice small bowl 

But by the time I was finished I was full and wasn't particularly looking forward to the main course

But I ploughed on

And had steak for main course

Again it was a small portion with some veg

I got through it 

But was fit to burst

So I excused myself to the bathroom

Joking that I was going for a smoke 

I was glad to see that the bathroom wasn't in cubicles

And was its own room

Do I didn't have to worry about anyone hearing me

I gently tried the flush before I began

Just to make sure it was working

And it was 

I did the deed

And felt incredibly guilty and dirty

I cleaned myself up

And returned to the table

Despite my bad mood

And despite my trip to the bathroom

I enjoyed the meal out

We had a good chat

And a good laugh

And all without a drop of alcohol

It wasn't always this way

For a long time my family couldn't be in the same room together

Without tearing lumps out of each other

We've come a long way 

We really have