The Boy update

I mentioned earlier in the week that I was planning on going to a meeting

I'm afraid I didn't go

Fear and anxiety got the better of me 

I got as far as the front door

But no further

And then of course guilt and shame followed that

I was angry at myself for not going

I think in future 

I won't say that I'm going

And just go when I feel able

Walk the walk

Instead of talking the talk

The Boy was in touch a lot this week

He wanted me to call out to him Wednesday 

But I had the flu

So declined his offer

I felt a bit better yesterday

So I texted him in the morning

And said I would call over

He replied that he had to go to work for 'an hour'

And would text me when he was home

It seems that time has ceased to have any meaning for The Boy

As it wasn't until 3 hours later that he texted me to call over

I was to call out to his house

And I was really nervous to drive there by myself 

Because it is a really narrow and dangerous road that he lives on

Plus I am not a very confident driver at the best of times

I have been to his house before 

But I have such a bad sense of direction

That that was of little help

My directions were to take the road out of the village

Go up the hill

Go around two sets of bad bends

Then take the road on the left

Follow this road for about a mile

Pass the water tank

And the hump back bridge

And his house was the first house on the left

Simple right?

Maybe for a normal human being

For me it turned in to a bit of s drama

At first I was fine

I took the road out of the village

Passed the two bad bends

Or so I thought

Nothing looked familiar though

And I had a feeling that I had gone wrong 

I continued down this narrow road

Until I came across a lorry

Stopped in the middle of the road

I pulled in to the side

As I knew I wasn't going to get passed him

I waited to see if it was going to move

But there was no sign

I got out of my car

And saw a guy in the garden of one of the houses

I went over to him

Said hello

And told him I thought I was lost

I had no address so I told him The Boys name

But he didn't know him

He told me to hang on that he would ask his father

Cue another man

They brought me in to the house

Where it looked like a hoarder lived

I repeated my friends name

But this man didn't know him either

He asked me if I had an address

Which I didn't 

But then I remembered the directions about the water tank and the bridge

And suddenly they both knew exactly where I meant

Even so

They kept me talking for another five minutes

Before I thanked them and headed off again

They left me with a warning

To be careful on said road 

As there were 'a lot of fucking lunatics' on it

I jumped back in to my car

And turned in a very tight spot

I was sure I was going to end up in a ditch

And I was starting to regret leaving the house at all

I headed back down the road

And took the first right at the crossroads

It was such a narrow road

I prayed that I wouldn't meet another car

And thankfully I didn't

I came across the water tank

And then recognised The Boys house

I breathed a sigh of relief

The Boy let me in

And I related my little adventure

He laughed

We made tea

And sat in his living room

He had very kindly made me up a natural remedy to take for my flu

Very thoughtful

We chatted for hours

And the more time  I spent with him

The more I realised that I don't want anything other than friendship from him

He is a nice guy

Funny 

Super smart

And loyal

But there is no attraction there

And I am grateful for that 

For at least now I know where we stand

As friends

And nothing more

I stayed in his house for a few hours

I thought being around a smoker would drive me nuts

But it didn't 

I didn't mind at all

 

So we are friends

And that is more than enough for me

That special someone is still out there for me

I just have to find him......