Sunday, 29 March 2015


It was this morning
The same as any other Sunday morning
Except the clocks had gone forward 
And confused me so I had got up an hour earlier than I would normally
I watched tv for a while
And drifted in and out of sleep
I finally managed to wake up at about 10am
Got myself together 
And brought the dogs for a walk
It rained 
We got soaked
And headed back to the house
Marie texted
We arranged to meet at the lunch time meeting
I changed my clothes
And got ready for the meeting
Jumped in my car
And headed off

I think a lot when I drive
I couldn't tell you what I was thinking about
I know I was driving through the village
Mass was just over and there were air of people milling about
Cars pulling in and out
I was driving slowly 
Was just driving by a junction
When I saw it
A green jeep
There are a lot of green jeeps around where I live
And everytime I see one my heart stops
I scanned the registration plate
It was his
My heart now started to palpitate 
He was at the junction
So I drove right by his eyeline
I didn't look to see if it was him
I knew it was
I wanted to put my foot down and get the hell out of there
But the car in front of me slowed to a crawl
It seemed to take forever for me to drive past
I don't know if he saw me
I don't really care
But by the time I got to the meeting 
I was a mess
I had to sit in my car for a couple of minutes
And just breathe
And calm down
I managed to compose myself
And headed in to the meeting 

I guess it was bound to happen 
I was bound to run in to him sooner or later
In reality we frequent the same villages and towns
This is a small area
It was always going to happen
But still
I wasn't prepared for it
And it rattled me something serious
Just knowing that he is around unsettles me

But how and ever
It happened 
I survived 
I'm sure it will happen again
And I will survive that too

In other news
I reconnected with an old friend yesterday
When I first moved here
I used to attend meetings regularly
I mentioned in my last post that I was friendly with two of the men
One of the men in particular became a family friend
I guess he was like a sponsor to me really
We were friends for years
But I went of the rails
And pulled away from him and all my friends
I've spoke to him maybe a couple of times in the last few years
And yesterday I rang him
He didn't know who it was at first
I kept him guessing 
When he heard me speak
He knew then
It was so good to speak to him
And he was delighted to hear from me
We arranged to meet tomorrow and then get a meeting in
He's someone that I want in my life

So I am doing ok
Keeping close to good friends
Getting a lot of meetings
Staying out of trouble
I'm trying
And that's the main thing

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