Tell me why I don't like Mondays

Title taken from the popular Boom Town Rats song

In fact I do like Mondays 

It may even be my favourite day of the week

Let me explain

As you know

Monday is doctor day

Which means I've had no meds since Saturday 

As greedy guts addict over here overused on a couple of occasions

Sunday is a long day with no meds

No little sleeps to break up the day

No chance to opt out 

Or check off the planet for a while

By Monday morning

I can feel the withdrawal setting in

I can feel it in my bones

The yawning starts 

Why it always starts with yawning I do not know

There must be a reason 

But I don't know what it is

Then my nose and eyes start to run 

Usually I have my meds before it gets any worse

God forbid would it get any worse

So I made my way in the my doctor today

My usual doctor is away for a couple of weeks

So I got to see Nice Woman Doctor

Who I really like

She calls me in to her room

Big smile on her face

I settle on the seat

She tells me I look well

I balk at hearing this

As I always do

But manners prevail 

And I smile and thank her

She asks me how life is

The first thing that pops in to my head is the incident last Thursday

But I decide that she doesn't need to know that

And I tell her life is good

That I am starting a course in september

She asks me if its good to have my sister home

She knows my sister as she sees her too

I tell her it is 

Which is true

She also asks me if I am still blogging

I tell her I am 

Touched that she remembered 

She carefully writes my scripts

I thank her 

And leave

I go and collect my meds

Then go to meet my mum who is walking the dogs

I get to my car

And take my daily dose

Determined to get back on track

And take them properly

I know I need to get this under control

I have spoken to Mary about it in the past

And she has told my doctor

Who then put me on daily dispensing

That works 

As I have no temptation in the house

So when I have a weak moment

There are no meds to take

But he usually only leaves me on DD for a couple of weeks

And then it's back to normal

Getting weekly dispensing

I know I need to get this under control

Especially if I want to start my course

And stay clean and sober

As right now

I don't really think I can claim I am clean and sober 

Being clean sober means not using mind altering substances 

Living in reality

Living life on life's terms

Not using meds or dugs to escape feelings 

Being compos  mentis 

And I am definitely not doing that

In my defence 

These meds are prescribed

And I am supposed to take them

But in reality I am not supposed to take a double or triple dose

Hell even a single dose is too much sometimes 

It does not a clean and sober life make

I've stopped telling the professionals that I abuse my meds

I don't really see the point anymore

I talk about it at meetings from time to time

But in reality

I don't know if I want to stop

Despite being ok with the way things are

I have taken steps to help myself

Last week I called in to my local dog kennels and groomers

To see if they had any work going for the summer

Disappointingly they couldn't take me on due to high insurance costs

So I tried the pizzeria I used to work in

He said he would ring me if anything came up

And he seemed glad that I called in

So hopefully that will work out

I  think having a bit more structure in my day will help with the addiction side of things

At least I hope it will

Time is going so fast at the moment

The weeks just seem to fly by

As does my life 

If I am not careful 

I will wake up an old woman

And my life will be over 

I guess I need to find a passion

Outside of writing and blogging

I don't have a lot of hobbies

But I am so grateful to have blogging in my life

Three years later and I enjoy it more than ever 

I write every day

It may not always be riveting stuff

But it's part of my daily routine

Blogging has saved my life 

And my sanity over and over again

It's been such a force for good in my life 

I don't know where I would be without it

and you special ladies

So thank you for that

I was wondering about you

How long have you been blogging?

Why did you start?

How does it benefit you?