I am on Facebook
But never post anything on there
I'm not on Twitter
And I don't use Instagram or Tumblr
Blogger is really the only medium I use to post about my life
Most of the people who read my blog
I don't actually know
I know some of my family and friends read it
But not all the time
I don't know why I don't use Facebook
I don't even really go on it to read about others
It's just not my thing I guess
I love my blog though
And I love this little community that we have here
It seems that Wordpress is a more popular blogging platform
With endless ED blogs
A couple of years ago
I did start writing a blog there called Poppy Recovering
And I also collaborated on a blog with the lovely Angharad called Partners in Crime
But in the end
I always come back to blogger
Blogger feels like home
And you all feel like family
Our community is small but tightly knit
And I love that
It has also changed over time
When I started blogging 3 years ago it was an active and buzzing place
There were so many blogs and bloggers
Remember Rayya?
Winter?
Anna Stone?
The Lovely Bones?
Thinderella?
Emily?
And so many more
They just seemed to fall off the face of the earth
And completely vanish
This worries me
Where did they go?
Did they recover?
God they grow out of their ED?
Did they go to treatment?
Was their anonymity compromised?
Did the finally tell their ED to fuck right off?
Did they get really ill?
Did they die?
I wish I knew
But that's just life
People come and go
One day they are a huge part of our existence
But then life happens
People move on
They grow up
They find another way
Our community at the moment is quite small
I actually don't read blogs about any thing else other than EDs
But recently I've had an urge to read about other topics
Line animals
Or books
Or writing
I guess as my life expands
So go my interests
I heard a lovely quote the other day
Our lives expand or shrink in direct proportion to our courage
I love that
And it's so true
When I was in the midst of my illness
My life was so limited
So narrow
But as I grow and change
My life becomes more full
More rich
With new people and experiences
Yes it is challenging
Yes sometimes all I want to do is check off the planet
Or run in to the arms of my ED
Life can be boring
Mundane
And monotonous
Compared to the roller coaster of addiction and ED
Life can be pretty tame
But then again
That doesn't have to be a bad thing
My life was one drama after another hit do long
Now my life is quieter
Steadier
More stable
That can be both a good and a bad thing
Over the years of writing this blog
Writing has become a passion of mine
I've always lived words and English and reading
I don't consider myself to be a great speaker
So writing is perfect for me
I can get the words out at my own pace
I can take my time
With speaking
I get anxious and flustered quite easily
I would much rather write than speak
I write here on blogger every day
Every single morning
I settle down on my phone with a cup of tea
And write about whatever is in my mind
And the absolute high light of my day
Is getting comments from you wonderful ladies
I always appreciate people taking the time and energy to leave a comment
And I get such thoughtful and kind ones
I always make an effort to reply
As I like to engage with readers
And also to thank them
Starting this blog has been one of the better decisions I have made in recent years
Getting to know you had been such a joy
I don't need to name you
You know who you are
Some of you have been there from the start
Some are newer readers
But you are all so precious to me
Each and every one of you have a special place in my heart
You are more than friends
You are fellow fighters in the war against our EDs
You are soul sisters
Like family to me
You have been there for me through thick and thin
Literally
You've cried with me
Laughed with me
Picked me up when I fell
Encouraged me
You've strengthened me
Believed in me
Had faith in me
Even when I had none in myself
That means so much to me
More than I can express
So thank you for that
For being my friend
My sister
My fellow survivor
My confidant
I will never forget the kindness and love that you have shown me
Thank you
I was wondering about you
What social media do you use?
How do you think blogger compares to other mediums?
How do you rate blogger?
I'd love to know ......
I love blogger, originally it was an exercise for my library technician course. I changed it later on and now I blog about Aspergers Syndrome, depression, anxiety, unemployment and writing. I'm also on Facebook and Indtagram. I have Twitter, but I dont use it really. I blog whenever I have something to say, if not I post stories and poetry. I like blogger because it's allows you to say more than other social media platforms. I don't really use any other bloggin sites so I can't compare really.
ReplyDeleteI've enjoyed reading your blog. You have such a way with words. X
In going to check out your blog now Anne
ReplyDeleteAs I don't think I have before
It sounds really interesting x
im not on anything, took me ages to just send a photo to you! i am completely useless on all this im afraid. only read your blog, have tried others but can't really relate to them or i find them too upsetting, get upset for you too sometimes but know you always bounce back and give us all hope. i love reading and always check everyday look forward to it,and although we never met i feel like you are a real friend and i can tell you on here what i keep secret everywhere else,its such a relief just to tell someone you know? so love you lots and keep blogging! jo xx
ReplyDeleteLove you too Jo
DeleteI always look forward to your comments
You are one of the good ones
And I'm so glad to have met you here x
I hate when bloggers vanish, it makes me worry as well. So many of them have disappeared over the years, and I still worry about them all (Mona, Depressed Skinny Mess, Enid, Tai, wren.....so many names). I'm friends with some of them on facebook, so at least I know a few are alive and well. I was glad to find your blog again, I remembered you from a few years ago.
ReplyDeleteI have a twitter account, but twitter confuses me. I tried to use it to market my books, but that didn't really go anywhere. Same with facebook. I guess I'm just not very good at marketing...
A lot of bloggers seem to have migrated over to Wordpress recently. I still prefer Blogger. (Or maybe I'm just used to it.)
<3
Yes
DeleteI think Wordpress is more popular than blogger
But like you
I am so used to blogger
And always come back here x
Social media for marketing isn't all its cracked up to be.
DeleteI love a ton of media.... I have Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, FaceBook, Google+ ... and I love Blogger. I only blog once a week, occassionally twice as I read and comment on many blogs ♡ xox
ReplyDeleteWow Launna,
DeleteHow do find time for all of those?
That is pretty amazing x
Nope don't do a lot. I like blogger. It's easy.
ReplyDeleteIf I feel like leaving I've already planned to say " goodbye and good luck" before I go. I get worried when people just leave with no word.
If you feel like branching out you NEED to go with that urge!
My life has changed SO much. Once I did nothing other than exercise count calories and read slimming magazines. I literally did nothing else. Oh i kind of socialised and got wasted a lot.I also needed to steer every conversation I had around to me so I could get the attention/reassurance I needed. I must have been a crap friend/girlfriend. I spoke about myself a lot. Not because I thought I was great but because I sucked and I had zero confidence and zero interest in anything other than me and my pain.urgh
Now I can be absorbed in so Many things. I can sit and watch leaves falling or kids playing and just focus on that. I love it. It's like a miracle to me. I prayed I could just "be sane, be in the moment not just be a big ball of misery" and it happened. Now I like to hear other people's stories.
So yeah. Expand your horizons. Soon you won't see the Rollercoaster as that compelling. You'll have other things. Now I can live with monotony. Except I now call it "stability" !!
XXL shelby
That's a good way of putting it Shelby
DeleteStability
I like that
I guess it's up to me to find that hit of adrenalin somewhere else
Somewhere healthy
And there are lots of ways I could do that
I just need to find what suits me x
people often work , have families, volunteer, care for others, live normal lives.,and still live in this shadow,no one even knows,sometimes it bothers me a bit when people think you want to be the centre of attention,
ReplyDeletei have had this thing for over 30 years and feel disgusting whatever my weight, was very thin at christmas and couldn't bear it.hate attention of any sort this thing in my head has only me to answer to, know we all different,but needed to say its not always the case although everyone thinks so from what i read.makes it harder to seek help i think
jo x
DeleteI think it's different for different people
DeleteSome crave the attention
While others shun it
I am the same as you in that I wanted to disappear (hence the name of my blog)
But it can back fire as the sicker I got
The more attention I got
Because of my appearance
And behaviour
I hate that you've been suffering for so long Jo
You deserve better
So much better
Please don't quit five minutes before the miracle x
Hi again,
ReplyDeleteI was reading this and when I got to the point about people who suddenly vanish and felt a bit saddened and worried. I too followed many of the same blogs. But Emily, if it's the same girl, and I think it is, was one of the only girls who took time to comment on mine and to offer encouragement. At the height of my addiction, I was too consumed with the every day search to find a way to get high, I was too focused on using that I totally forgot to keep up with it. By the time I came back, I could no longer reach her. I left a comment but she hadn't posted in a long time. It just sort of threw me into that "what if" sort of thinking. I hope for the best for her, and everyone else who vanished from here, but it scares me to think of the reality. It's very similar to the people you meet in rehab. For those few weeks they became my closest, bestest friends. We all knew all each others secrets, flaws, and dreams. We knew everything about each other and still loved them unconditionally. We were supports and friends through the rough times in treatment. We all promise to stay in touch, but then life hits and you never hear from some of them again. I often worry about those girls. Did they become just another dreadful statistic? Or did they completely thrive? I know many of them have relapsed, and its sad. I can only hope for the best and pray they make it back to recovery before something horrible happens. It's the same for all the girls in this community. I may not know them, but I read their lives, secrets, hopes, etc. so I feel like I know them. They're friends and supports in an online, sometimes anonymous way. And it's comforting. I don't have many followers, but I follow a lot of others.
Anyway, I have Facebook, twitter which I use daily and instagram(which I don't use). I used to have a tumblr and a wordpress, but I logged into them the other day, and all of my posts had been removed. That sort of sucked, because I know there were valuable pieces of my story there. But I've always preferred blogger. I think it's because tumblr was so picture oriented and wasn't truly about your own words and thoughts. It became sort of a jumble of things instead of the addiction, ED, recovery blog I wanted it to be. Plus, wordpress may be a bigger community, but I like this one. It's smaller and closer knit, which makes for true caring and getting to know one another. Blogger is a place where I can share myself completely and honestly the way I can't on facebook, knowing nobody I know will see it. And if they do, I use my eating disorder's alter ego name (Jenna) instead of my own (Jordyn). So I can share everything openly without fear of being judged, or pitied, or shamed. And that's because so many of you are as you said, soul sisters. We're struggling with the same things and no matter where we live or how different we are, we share that one common thing that bonds us all no matter what.
Sorry this is so long! I just sort of got on a roll. I just want to say, I may be newer to your blog, but you've already given me so much hope. I think you're truly a beautiful soul. I wish nothing but the best for you in life and recovery!
Much love, xx.
Hey,
DeleteYes that was Emily from Bulimia Girl
She was a big part of this community
And then she just vanished
Like so many others
I know exactly what you mean about treatment
I got so close to the other girls in there
As you say
We cried together
Laughed together
Went through it all together
And it's the same here
I truly love the girls here on blogger
A lot of them know more about me then my own family
I'm so grateful for this community
I'm so glad that this blog helps you
That is always my aim
To tell the truth about EDs and addiction
And to help others
I'll look forward to getting to know you x