Sunday

As long term readers know

Sunday used to always be my worst day of the week

The last day of my meds week 

I always overtook my meds during the week 

And had none left by Sunday

So it was always a long, boring day

Often on the verge of withdrawal

I always tried to get up especially early on a Sunday

To tire myself out

In the hope that I would get some much needed sleep that night

But God almighty Sunday was an endless day

The yawning would start early 

The watery eyes

The runny nose

The dull ache in my limbs

The mental torture

It was not fun let me tell you

By Sunday night

My body would be absolutely exhausted 

But my mind super awake 

It's a horrible way to be

Craving sleep so much 

But not being able to snatch even a few minutes

The night is long when you can't sleep

The minutes become hours

The darkness makes everything seem worse

And it feels like you are the only one in the world who is awake

I tried to kill time by reading

Watching box sets

Chain smoking 

And drinking endless cups of tea

Often I would end up in tears

Just so exhausted

And mentally spent

By the time dawn came around

I was just starting to doze 

But then 8am came

And it was time to get up and go to the doctor 

I would drag myself out of bed 

My eyes bleary

My head fuzzy 

My eyes red and swollen from crying 

I felt wired 

Like the walking dead

Often losing the power to make any kind of sense

I don't miss that

So today is Sunday

And it is such a treat to have meds left

Somehow I even had 5 extra mls of methadone too!

That is just unheard of in my house

So today

I can enjoy Sunday just like everyone else

I can relax knowing that I will sleep tonight

And my friends

Is a freakin' revelation.....