Sunday, 28 June 2015


As long term readers know
Sunday used to always be my worst day of the week
The last day of my meds week 
I always overtook my meds during the week 
And had none left by Sunday
So it was always a long, boring day
Often on the verge of withdrawal
I always tried to get up especially early on a Sunday
To tire myself out
In the hope that I would get some much needed sleep that night

But God almighty Sunday was an endless day
The yawning would start early 
The watery eyes
The runny nose
The dull ache in my limbs
The mental torture
It was not fun let me tell you

By Sunday night
My body would be absolutely exhausted 
But my mind super awake 
It's a horrible way to be
Craving sleep so much 
But not being able to snatch even a few minutes
The night is long when you can't sleep
The minutes become hours
The darkness makes everything seem worse
And it feels like you are the only one in the world who is awake
I tried to kill time by reading
Watching box sets
Chain smoking 
And drinking endless cups of tea
Often I would end up in tears
Just so exhausted
And mentally spent
By the time dawn came around
I was just starting to doze 
But then 8am came
And it was time to get up and go to the doctor 

I would drag myself out of bed 
My eyes bleary
My head fuzzy 
My eyes red and swollen from crying 
I felt wired 
Like the walking dead
Often losing the power to make any kind of sense
I don't miss that

So today is Sunday
And it is such a treat to have meds left
Somehow I even had 5 extra mls of methadone too!
That is just unheard of in my house
So today
I can enjoy Sunday just like everyone else
I can relax knowing that I will sleep tonight
And my friends
Is a freakin' revelation.....


  1. Replies
    1. Yay!!
      It is so much better Shelby x

  2. Yes!! This is awesome to read. 5ml leftover?! You go girl! Those endless nights are just painful. Nothing to be missed. It sounds like being honest with your doctor is paying off :)


    1. I know Bella!
      Having leftover meds is unheard of for a greedy addict like me!
      It's a whole new world for me!


  3. This is truly a step in the right direction, I'm beaming reading this *-* it's unbelievable how happy for you I feel ^-^ love you to bits!!!


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