Tv Show Update

You might have noticed that I deleted a post about an email I got regarding taking part in a tv show

I received an email from a lady from a tv company called Levant Tv

Asking me if I would be willing to take part in a tv debate about eatingdisorders

That is to be recorded next Monday

I was suspicious of the email at first

As it was so general

Out of curiosity 

I emailed the lady back

A response came quickly

And it all sounded very professional

However 

I did want to speak to someone before committing to anything 

So I emailed my phone number 

And asked her to give me a call

The call came in within minutes

And I spoke at length to the lady

She explained that Levant Tv is Lebannese 

And their shows are streamlined on line

As well as being shown on tv in some countries

She described how there would be a few people taking part in this particular show

A psychiatrist

An eating disorder clinic director

The mother of a young girl with an ED

And myself

This lady found me through my blog

And wants me to spread the message of hope

That there is light at the end of the tunnel

And that there is life beyond an ED

To me

This all sounds great

This is exactly the reason that I write my blog

To give others hope 

Yet give an honest and unflinching account of what it's like to live with an eating disorder

I can't lie

I am nervous beyond belief to do this

But more than wanting to do it

I feel I need to do it

I feel like it's my responsibility to speak for us 

For everyone one of you who is out there in your own little corner of the world 

Suffering

Some suffering alone

And in silence

If I can give someone at least a little bit of hope

Then I am happy with that

I know when I first started trying to recover from drugs

It was so important to me that I saw someone who was doing it

Who was actively enjoying recovery

Not enduring it

Someone who had been there

Done that 

Bought the extra small t-shirt

It's so very important to see another human being achieving what we want to achieve 

Because then we know that it is possible

Then we know that it's real

Part of me is feeling like a bit of a fraud though

I mean

In all honesty

I am no poster girl for recovery

I still struggle on daily basis 

I am no where near recovered

But I guess that is a more realistic view of recovery

Recovery is a spectrum

We are all at different points

But we are all on it

What ever stage we are at

Recovery is not so black and white

There is a  huge grey area 

Where most of us reside

I hope to carry a message of hope

And also a realistic version of recovery

I just hope that I can do it justice

As you know

I am not a great speaker

I much prefer to write 

Then I can get the words out at my own pace 

Maybe the fact that I am on the phone will make it easier

I don't know

I had to send a photo of myself that they will show when I am speaking 

Now that was an ordeal

Which photo to choose?

Instead of trawling through them all

I used the first half decent one that o came across 

It was taken last winter 

I am out walking 

And the beach is in the background 

Anyway 

It'll do as they say

With all said

I am throwing the floor over to you

Are there any specific topics or areas that you think I should address?

Is there anything that you think is important to mention?

Any advice you could give the mother of the young girl?

Or anything they you think is worth mentioning?

Do let me know if you can think of anything 

Ok

I'm off to pace manically

And chew my finger nails 

As I await the up coming day.....