Truth is stranger than fiction

So

It's the morning after the night before 

You guys

I actually went!

I can't quite believe it!

On my gosh

Yesterday was tough

My anxiety was through the freakin' roof

I walked the dogs in the morning

Went in to town in the afternoon

Saw Mary at 2pm

Told her about my date

She was super excited for me

Which was nice

She told me it was completely natural to be nervous 

But I was anxious to the point where I was hoping he wouldn't call

I was actually praying that he didn't like me

And because I was going out 

I didn't want to take my meds

And risk being all sleepy and dopey

So I was on high alert all day

I got home from town at about 4 30pm

I was so keyed up that I couldn't eat a thing

Then I realised that I couldn't remember if we said I was going to text him

Or if he was going to text me

So I agonised over that for a couple of hours

My sister was away

So I only had my Mum here for support

But she was great 

And helped me every step of the way

I decided to wait for him to text

And he did

At about 6 30pm

Hey you want to go to cinema at 8 15pm or 11pm?

Part of me was glad he texted 

Part of me wasn't

I texted back

8 15pm I guess, if that suits you?

A few minutes later he rang 

And we arranged to meet outside the cinema 

I said I would give him a ring when I got there

All too soon it was time to get ready

To save on time and stress 

I had already picked out what I was going to wear

Blue sleeveless shirt

Blue ripped jeans 

My Roxy sneakers 

And black leather jacket

Casual

But smart

I straightened my hair

And wore minimal make up

Before I knew it

It was time to go

But I had one dilemma

I was meeting him there

And I wasn't 100% sure what he looked like

So I had to come up with a strategy

I decided to arrive early

As I was to ring him when I arrived

My plan was to wait just inside the door

And be on my phone when he came in

So he would have to come up to me and say my name 

I could imagine myself wandering up to single men saying

Are you The Plumber?

Are you The Plumber?

The hardest part was actually getting from my front door to the car

I really didn't want to go

But all I could think was that it would all be over in a few hours 

And I would kick myself if I didn't go

So I said goodbye to my Mum

My dogs were sound asleep

Completely oblivious that their Mama was going on a date 

For a moment I wished I could swap places with one of them 

But

I got my shit together

Grabbed my car keys

And headed out in to the big bad world of dating

Once I got in my car 

I was surprisingly calm

I was thinking about the most bizarre things

My head really was in a strange place

I arrived about 8 10pm

Positioned myself just inside the cinema door 

Took out my phone

And pretended that I was sending some very important texts

I rang him

Told him where I was

And waited

You know the way when you speak to someone on the phone first

You kind of build up a picture of them in your head?

Well I had an image of what he looked like

I knew he was tall

But apart from that I had no clue what he looked like

I looked up from my phone

And saw a white van with blacked out windows 

I suspected that was him

So I went back to my phone

I could sense him approaching 

I braced myself 

Hello Ruby?

Yea hey?

We headed in to the cinema

Got our tickets 

He paid which was nice

He got a drink

I just couldn't stomach anything 

We headed in

We were the only people there 

In the whole cinema

We took our seats 

And I took of my jacket as I was starting to sweat

Surprisingly 

Conversation flowed

We chatted easily

Laughed at the fact that we had the whole cinema to ourselves

And bonus

He was really cute

Talk

Broad 

Nice smile

Kind eye

Things were looking up...

The film started

As I said in previous posts

I was not thrilled about going to see Amy

But I had kind of prepared myself to be disconnected

So I wouldn't get upset

The documentary was great though

So much amazing footage

But it was so very sad

At times I had to remind myself that this was really her life

And not fiction

I just find the whole thing incredibly upsetting

I followed her career

Watched her rise to fame 

And her spectacular downfall

To be honest

I was glad when it was over

We both stretched 

And got up from our seats 

We headed outside

I was kind of afraid he would suggest going for a drink

But he didn't

Do you want to come back to mine for tea or are you heading home?

I decided what the hell?

I could go for an innocent cup of tea

So I followed him in my car back to his house

He lives on his own 

And has a really lovely house

Typical blokes house

Sparse and bare

With a huge f**k off tv

And various computer consoles 

He turned on the tv

Made tea 

And settled on the couch

Again 

Conversation came pretty easily 

I felt relaxed 

Even when he turned off the main light and switched on a low lamp

I managed to stay cool

We were watching a show about a hypnotist

Which was good as it was funny

As soon as it was over

You guys!!!

He totally jumped my bones!

I swear I didn't even see it coming!

One minute we were just sitting there

The next he had pounced on me!

I felt like I'd been hit by Mike Tyson

Holy shit I really wasn't expecting that

I went along with it

Up to a certain point

When i started to feel uncomfortable I kind off pushed him off

And put a stop to his wandering hands

I mean he was going from zero to 60 very freakin' quickly

Go easy I said

Calm down a bit

He got the message and backed off 

I was honest

I said I hadn't done this in a long time 

So he really needed to pace himself 

He got the message

And I was glad 

I just can't even go there in my mind 

And I was a bit annoyed that he had put me in that position

I mean maybe this is what happens 

Maybe I am being naive thinking that good old fashioned manners are still practised

I really don't know

I decided to head home

And said so

He leaned in again

I gave a little 

A very little

And pushed him off again

By now he had definitely got the message

I put on my jacket

And managed to nearly fall flat on my face as my foot caught in the strap of my bag

Ha!

Typical me

Graceful to the bitter end 

Needless to say

Things were a bit awkward after that 

I tyres to compose myself 

And stood up to leave

I walked over to the double doors to leave the living room

But the door wouldn't open 

I was pulling it and pushing it but it wouldn't budge

Eh it's the other door 

Don't worry I haven't locked  you in

I  thought that was funny

And laughed

Oh I almost forgot

In between everything he told me that he was single

Get this

Only the last couple of weeks!

I was really surprised to hear this

As it's been more than that since he asked my neighbour about me

Red flags flying up all over the shop 

I made my way to the front door 

He leaned in again

Said he would text tomorrow

And I left

Oh my goodness 

I was glad to get back to the safety of my little car

I started the engine and made for home

Trying to process everything that had happened

I had to smile as I though back on the night

I'm not sure if I like him or not

I mean

He's definitely good looking

But I worried that he thought of me as a one night stand

As that was really the last thing I was looking for

I arrived home

My Mum had waited up 

I told her all about it

Omitting the fact that I had been pounced on

She told me that she had been half expecting me to arrive home early

Or not go through with it at all

It would have been easy to cancel 

But I don't get dates that often

And I really wanted to get out there in the big bad world

Really live

Really push my boundaries

And I sure as hell did that

My sister texted me

And I filled her in

She thought it was hilarious

And I guess it was kind of funny

Men are strange creatures for sure

I was all wound up when I got home 

And tried to relax with a cup of tea

But my mind just kept playing the nights events over in my head again and again

I went to bed 

Read for a while

And eventually drifted off to sleep 

So now it's morning

And I find myself hoping that he will text

Just to know that someone likes me would be enough

I mean he must have been attracted to me or he wouldn't have jumped me right?

Unless he was just looking for one thing

And I truly hope he wasn't

That is just not my style

And he's going to have to suck that up

I have no idea where this will lead 

I mean I'd like to see him again

I think 

But again

I'm expecting nothing

And not getting my hopes up

Gosh this past few days have been stressful

At least now I can relax today

Take my meds 

And have a day off

During the film I did wonder what he would make of me having the same issues as Amy

He strikes me as being really good, decent and clean

But I'm also glad I didn't tell him any of my past

That would have been way too heavy

But still

It's a worry 

I am just glad that I actually went on the date 

And that I made it out alive

It will be interesting to see if he texts or rings

Iive in hope.....

Also 

Thank you do very much for your support through all of this 

You guys have been a tower of strength

And I know I couldn't have done it without you

You are all shining stars 

Love you all to bits and pieces