Thursday, 22 October 2015

Make it Work

I don't have a lot of qualifications when it comes to education and work
I haven't studied beyond high school
I didn't attend college or university 
I don't have any specialists skills 
I have worked in a lot of different jobs
So I guess I do have some experience
Not a lot 
But some 
While most people I know were going to college
Acquiring new skills 
I was in the midst of a horrific drug addiction
And following that
Anorexia and bulimia 
In a strange way 
I have mastered in those subjects 
They are topics that I know intimately 
I lived them 
Breathed them
Ate them 
And slept them for over ten years
I could write essays 
Thesis after thesis on these subjects 
And in a way 
I guess I do that everyday 
In writing this blog 

As you know 
I write everyday 
I write everyday for a few reasons 
I like to constantly have something new to write about 
I do it at the same time everyday 
So it gives my day structure and form
It's some thing that keeps me accountable and honest 
As well as that 
I love writing 
And am always thinking about new topics to write about 
I dont always write about addiction and EDs
I write personal posts 
I do photo posts
I review documentaries, books and TV shows 
I write about anything that interests me
And that I think will appeal to my readers

I often get asked to contribute to a website or guest post on a blog
At the moment I have three writing pieces 
In the works 
Which is really exciting 
As I have often said 
I am blown away by what can happen if you put yourself out there
If you are willing to share your story 
In an honest and vulnerable way
Writing my blog is a huge part of my life 
And I don't hold back
I share practically every part of my life here
In the hope that someone else feels the same
Or that someone else might not feel so alone 
It still blows my mind 
When I look at my stats and see people reading from Russia, Lebanon, Norway, China
I only know very few of you who read this blog
And of course there are the core readers and writers
Who form the back bone of this community 
And who I call my best friends 

My sister is always telling me that I should monetise my blog
Either by showing ads 
Or writing an E book
Or publishing a book myself 
There is no doubt 
That I have enough material for book
I have written 942 posts over three years 
Every moment over that time has been documented 
From my illness to recovery 
Every slip and relapse 
Every success and triumph
To read back on it is so amazing 
As as I soon as I have written a post 
I delete it from my mind 
So rereading it
Is like reading it for the first time
I really don't want to include ads in my blog
As I think they disrupt the flow of a blog 
But I would love to write a book
Or fashion my blog in to a book
That would be a dream come true 
Addiction and EDs are subjects that I know
I lived them
And in a lot of ways still live them

I just have this feeling deep down
That my blog 
And my experiences 
Are going to be a huge part of my life
And my work life 
And what you believe you create right?

With all that said 
I was wondering about you
Why do you write?
Would you like to make it your career?
Have you ever been published?
Would you like to be published?
Inquiring minds want to know....


  1. Have you ever thought of going to university as a mature age student? There are so many things you could write about in addition to EDs and addiction x

    1. I have thought about it
      And I would love to go back to college
      I don't know if I will ever get there though
      My confidence in that area is quite low
      But we'll see I guess x

  2. I think you'd make a great councellor x
    But a ebook would be good too.

    1. Aw thanks Shelby
      Wish I had the belief in myself x

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    1. Awwww Ruby, is this your first spam comment? I never get them anymore. I kind of miss the ones that were horribly translated into English; they were so entertaining....

    2. Hehe
      I have no idea what that is all about
      But you are right I think
      And yes I was a spam Virgin up until now x

  4. your brother is a writer, right? why don't you ask him? sometimes it feels like you are posting a lot of things to hear how great you are, or how lovely you look. the thing is if you do not believe it yourself you can post till the end of time and get a million of these nice comments, but you will never feel it for yourself if it does not come from your own believe. and this is where it needs to come from. no one can give you this, but you.have been reading for while, just never commented. xx

    1. Hey anon,

      I appreciate you commenting and reading, however I don't think it's fair to say that I post to be told how I great I look or how lovely I am
      I was actually a bit shocked to read this as I don't post for attention
      I post whatever is in my head
      What ever topic is relevant for me
      And yes I do post photos
      But not every day
      And certainly not to be told how lovely I look
      I guess I am hurt by this comment
      As you have me all wrong
      My blog primarily started out as a diary for myself
      And a way to connect with others
      Now it's about trying to recover and helping others
      I am not an attention seeker
      And you make it sound like I am

      I hope you see this reply
      As I would like to ask you why you think these things
      Why do you think I want to be told how fantastic I am?
      Why do you think I am an attention seeker?

    2. for goodness sake ! this person doesn't know you at all. jo xx

    3. Thanks Jo
      This comment rattled me for a moment
      But I know the truth
      And as you say
      Anon doesn't know me at all x

  5. Hi Ruby,
    I've been writing stories since I knew how to pick up a pencil. In high school when things were bad writing was my form of escape. When I was in distance education I would begin writing at 8:30pm-9:00pm and not finish until 3:30am-4:00am at the latest, I'd then sleep most of the day and begin the process again.
    I'm a horror and dark fantasy writer and I'm currently working on a novel that I will be submitting to publishers once I've edited it from beginning to end.
    I definitely think you should write your story as a book, maybe in diary or blog like format. I would definitely buy it and read it. Your brother would be the best person to ask for advice.
    I've published an article for a local newsletter, but that's about it so far. I did come close once with a major company after being pulled aside from a competition. I didn't get published because they don't normally publish fantasy. I'm still trying to get that book deal though and I won't be giving up any time soon.
    It took me 4 years to get my dream job and I'm sure you will be great at the dog shelter. I think you will be very suited to working with animals, maybe you could even help training service dogs for people with disabilities.
    I'm sure you'll succeed in whatever you choose to do.
    Anne Xx

    1. You have great discipline Anne
      I wish I had that trait
      Your writing sounds really great
      I would love to see some sometime
      Do you write any on your blog? X

    2. I'm always posting short samples of wotk on my blog. I post a short horror story on Halloween every year for my Halloween Tales segment which is coming up soon. I also label my story posts with short stories, poetry or picture books.
      I just like sharing my work even if hardly anyone reads it
      Anne Xx

  6. You would make a great counselor if you decided to pursue a career like that. But I think you would also need to be further along in recovery first. That could be a good motivator to keep pushing yourself as far as ED recovery.

    If you ever do try to get published, try to get an agent. I gave up with finding an agent and self-published instead (my books are children's contemporary fantasy and the market is so saturated with that genre that most agents won't even look at your work when you tell them what it is), but if you manage to sell to a big publisher, they will handle marketing and whatnot so you can actually make some money from your books. I think you could do fairly well self-publishing, but if you can land an agent and a book deal, it's definitely worth it.

    1. I don't know if is like to be a counsellor
      But I would like to help others in some way
      I'm not too sure yet

      Yes my brother has an agent now
      And had a book on the pipeline
      I guess I should ask him about all of this x

  7. Ruby would you like to write a guest post for my blog? I'd love to have you on board, but no pressure if you already have too much going on!

    You can self publish you know. There's a great website called Create Space - I used them to publish my own poetry book a few weeks ago, here's the link:

    Hope you're doing ok. Thanks for the lovely message on my blog it really meant such a lot to me. I haven't replied yet but will do. Just wanted to let you know how much it meant. Take care lovely xx

    1. Yes Annie!
      I would love to guest post on your blog!
      That would be amazing!!
      I have a few bits and bobs to do this week
      But next week I can definitely do it
      I was thinking of doing a post about EDs and the Internet and blogging
      Do you think that would be ok for your blog?
      Thank you so much for asking me
      It's made my day!! X

    2. Yay, that's made my day that you said yes! That would be a great post to do! You can write about anything I'm sure it will be perfect! Take your time, there's no rush. X

    3. Virtual high five!!
      I'll get writing... X

  8. Why do I write? I'm not sure. Sometimes I get an idea or a way that I need to express things because i feel pretty strongly all the time so it's cathartic and it's sort of fun to make the reader feel like they're in the moment with me. I've never been published and I've been told I write poorly and I've been told I write well so who knows. :) on the matter of career, I'm a year from my masters in counseling and let me tell you, it's not all sitting at a chair across from someone asking how they feel. There's a lot of skills that go into it and there's a lot of self growth that has to be done as the counselor has to be "clean" as my teacher says. Often times if they aren't taking care of themselves they try to fulfill a need through the client. It's fun to be so evolving but I'm always on edge trying to do things right and learn. I love it though. Grad school is just hard. :) I saw you told someone you'd feel insecure about being an older student but you really shouldn't. I didn't mind the older ones in my undergrad classes and all but one other student in my practicum is over 30. My grandpa went back to school for fun in his 60s. Learning doesn't have an expiration date. You know what I thought was fun and helpful for a few clients? Taking the Meyers Briggs test. It's free online and when they give you your personality type you can search careers suited for that personality. Kinda fun and gives food for thought. Finding what you love to do is intimidating, trust me I know, but don't give up. Look into writing. Look into school. The world is at your feet.

    1. That sounds really interesting Eve
      I'm going to look up that test
      I had a monent of clarity today
      When I actually became scared about my life and where it is headed
      I need to find a purpose
      I rang the dog shelter to go and start volunteering
      And they told me they don't need me at the moment
      So I am really disappointed about that
      I just feel at a loose end
      You know?
      Need to do something to exercise my brain x

    2. Eve i didnt mean to imply anything flippant about being a counselor. But i do think people who have life experience do better in that role.

      Incidentally i work with a drug and alcohol counselor who is an ex user and his imput is invaluable.

  9. Hmm, why is it that I write?
    That's a very great question. I think it's because my mind is always running a million miles per minute and I feel like all the things in my head are meant to be a secret, that I can't reveal to the world, so I write it all down. Usually it comes out in a whole bunch of nonsense until I re-read. I've always loved your writing. You have a beautiful way with words, you tell it how it is, and you have so much to say. I think that's why I enjoy reading your blog so much. Lots of love.
    XOXO Katie


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