Hospital

As I type this

I am currently in a ward in my local hospital

After spending about 6 hours in A&E yesterday

I was finally moved to a bed at about 6 30pm

Why am I here?

Well 

Let me explain 

I woke up yesterday morning at about 8am

I noticed that I had a kind of gnawing pain in my upper abdomen 

I didn't pass too much heed on it though

As its usual for me to have aches and pains throughout the day

So

I carried on with my normal routine

I let the dogs out

Made a cuppa 

And settled down to write my blog

The pain persisted 

But I did my best to ignore it 

Even though I wasn't feeling too good

I still brought the dogs out for a walk

This was my first mistake 

And my second was not bringing my phone with me 

I walked for our usual 45 minutes 

And on my way back

I began to feel really unwell

The pain worsened

I was dizzy

My whole body felt heavy

And I really thought I was going to pass out 

I stopped walking

I had to 

And sat down at the side of the road  trying to get my strength back 

I wasn't too far from home 

But I might as well have been one hundred miles away I felt so bad

I swear I thought I'd never get home

I walked a few steps 

Then stopped

And that was my pattern the whole way back

Eventually

After what seemed like an eternity 

I got home 

I dragged myself in to the kitchen 

And sat on the nearest chair

Oh the relief to be home 

I explained to my sister what had happened

Then my mother

The first thing she asked me was if I thought it was another attack of pancreatitis 

I wasn't sure 

As the pain wasn't in the same place as last time

You might remember back in 2013

I had rather a nasty bout of pancreatitis 

And was in hospital for a week

But I just wasn't sure this time 

It being  a Sunday 

The only doctor we could find was over an hour away 

I spoke to the doctor myself

And she gave me the option of going to see her 

Or going straight to hospital 

I figured it would make more sense to go to our local hospital 

But even then 

I still wasn't convinced that it warranted me taking such action

My mother and sister weren't convinced though 

I was as white as a ghost 

And I couldn't sit up straight

I took my own blood pressure

It was just a little on the low side 

The last time my BP was in my boots

So around lunch time

My mum and I set off for the hospital 

The weather was freezing 

And all the way in i felt we were overreacting 

I guess I was down playing how much pain I was in though

We arrived in A&E about half an hour later 

I was glad to see there were only a couple of people in the waiting room

I registered 

And then sat down to wait 

A short while later 

The nurse called me in to assess me

He was lovely 

I explained my situation 

The previous bout of pancreatitis

And my history of ED and addiction

He to me that his sister works in a hospital in London

And he knows it's not an easy thing to get over

Which I thought was kind of him to say

Again

He took my temperature and BP

And was sent out to the waiting room again 

Not long after 

I was called in to A&E

A pretty nurse who was quite heavily pregnant sat with me in a cubicle

And asked me some more questions

I explained about my bulimia

How I had been doing well up until a few weeks ago

When I began to lose weight

And the purging increased

She suspected that I had torn my oesophagus or my stomach lining

She also said I was dehydrated 

She put a canula in

And gave me some pain relief 

It didn't touch the pain though 

Then I was brought over to radiography for an x-Ray

Which turned out to be clear 

They had taken some bloods earlier

And the nurse came back with the results 

It turned out that they suspected it was in fact my pancreas

As the amalyse in my blood was unusually high 

All the while 

The pain persisted 

And I just couldn't get comfortable 

So they brought out the big guns

And gave me some IV morphine

It spread like warm water all through my body

And brought some much welcome pain relief 

At this point my other sister came in 

She was shocked when she saw me 

I was in the kind of pain that you can't get comfortable no matter what way you sit or lie

A while later

I asked for some more pain relief 

Cue more morphine

At one point 

I heard the nurses talking about me

That I had a bed in one of the wards 

And shortly after that 

I was moved up to a ward 

I was glad to get here 

As I felt I could relax a little 

And settle down for the night

I'm in a ward with mainly elderly ladies

The woman in the bed beside me has been non stop talking since I arrived 

She is obviously confused

And keeps trying to go home 

At the moment she is singing an unidentifiable song on repeat 

I'm a bit worried about my meds though

Because sometimes there can be an issue with the methadone

But I guess I'll worry about that tomorrow

Since coming to the ward

I've had two injections for the pain

But the pain persists 

And I generally feel exhausted and weary

I also saw the registrar last evening 

He said this bout could be because of my meds

Exacerbated by my ED

But they're not entirely sure yet 

So they are keeping me under observation

My mum left soon after I got settled on the ward

My sister had been looking after the dogs

They knew something was up yesterday

I guess they could sense the stress

It's now 6 30am

And I've just been woken up to have a new bag of fluids fitted

I'm fasting as of yesterday

And I am absolutely famished 

It's going to be torture watching everyone eating their breakfast 

But hopefully it won't be long until I can eat and drink

 

Last night was tough 

I was in a lot of pain

And even though I was wrecked

I couldn't sleep

It's not very comfortable twisting and turning with pain like that

So I asked for a sleeping pill 

Which the nurse got straight away

And about an hour later 

I fell asleep

I'm not sure what today brings 

Tests I'm guessing 

And a scan 

I'm sure my family will be up too

I just wanted to let you know where I'm at 

As I've had a couple of emails from people wondering am I ok

I am

Or at least I will be