Monday, 21 December 2015

Merry Christmas!

I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish all my readers a very happy Christmas and a prosperous new year!
And to thank you for your continued support through out 2015
It's been an eventful year to say the least
Many highs and lows 
And ups and downs
But that's life I guess
It's not a straight run
I know this time can be tough for us
If we are struggling with our EDs
Or other mental illness
I realise that I am more fortunate than most
I have a strong family around me
Who are my back bone 
My rock
My port in a storm 
And thankfully we are all in good health
Most of the time 
It wasn't always like this though 
Up until about 5 years ago 
Christmas in my house was utter bedlam
It was an excuse to get rotten drunk
Or out of it on some other substance
Inevitably there would be a family fight
And the whole thing would fall apart 
I can remember one Christmas 
When we all had to decamp to my sisters  apartment 
Because my father was on such a bender 
Those days are in the distant past

We are having a quiet family Christmas this year 
With just my neighbour coming for dinner
Which I am grateful for 
As I don't think I could handle a big get together 
I am just glad to be clean and sober
And well enough to enjoy the holidays

As for my ED 
Well I probably don't need to tell you
It's difficult 
I don't know where I'm at
Somewhere in between my illness and recovery 
I have made some positive changes 
I am now eating breakfast, lunch and dinner at the table with my family 
Albeit small meals
But it's better than stuffing my face in front of the TV and then purging 
I am trying hard to find some balance in my life 
Allowing myself a bit of everything 
In moderation
I find this really challenging 
As I am an all or nothing type of person
All the drugs 
Or none of the drugs
All the food 
Or none of it
Eating and not purging is also a big hurdle for me
Sometimes I succeed in not purging
Sometimes I don't 
But I am trying 
God knows I am trying 

I really hope that you enjoy your Christmas 
Where ever you may be 
And how ever you celebrate
I am feeling very grateful 
For my family 
My dogs 
You my blogger family 
I'm hoping that 2016 will bring new opportunities 
That I will get back on track with my recovery 
And things improve for me a little 

Take care over the holidays
Keep loved ones close 
And most of all enjoy yourself! X


  1. Merry christmas to you too Rubs! I hate Christmas, so bedlam is what I'm hoping for. Xo

  2. I got your card over the weekend!! Thanks very much. :)

    Official Christmas cooking begins tomorrow. Experimenting with the mince pies this year and sneaking a dash of expensive whiskey into them.....

    I hope you and your family and the doggies have a lovely Christmas!!

    1. Yay you got it!
      So glad

      Thank you my dear
      Let's hope 2016 is a good one X

  3. merry Christmas to you too, Ruby,
    take care

  4. Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a great new year! Lots of love

  5. Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a great new year! Lots of love

  6. Merry Christmas lovely. I'll have a little present in the post in the new year - my budget couldn't quite stretch to get them all out in time this year.

    Lots of love <3


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