AA

I'm just back from the local lunch time AA meeting

I'm actually really blessed where I live

Because it's a great base to get to a lot of different meetings

I love the lunch time ones

As waiting for the evening ones can make for a very long day

And the day time ones are a great way to kick off the day

I have to be honest though

More often than not

I am looking for excuses not to go

And don't really look forward to them 

But 

When I do go

I am reminded why I need meetings 

I never regret going to a meeting 

And always feel really good afterwards

My first meeting ever 

Was in a detox ward when I was 19

I can still remember the warm and fuzzy feeling I had after the meeting 

That was 15 years ago

And since then I've been in and out of meetings more often than I care to remember 

I seem to stick to the following pattern 

I go to meetings 

I'm really enthusiastic and motivated 

I go to many in a week

And feel really good 

Then I start to pull away

To isolate 

And soon I have talked myself out of going to meetings at all 

So I go through months or years of not going 

Then I find my way back 

And the whole cycle starts again 

They say if you don't get AA

Eventually it will get you 

I also go to NA

So really I gave my pick of meetings 

The last time I was going to meetings 

I depended on one person

If they were going to a meeting 

I would go

And if they weren't going 

I wouldn't either 

I've learned it's not healthy to depend solely on one person

It's better to have many people 

Friends 

A mixture of people 

And before 

I went to meetings for the wrong reasons 

I went to please others 

To get them off my back

Now 

I go because I want to go

Because I want to be clean and sober 

Because I want to be a better person m

And I want to stop hurting myself And others 

There is something very special about meetings 

Maybe it's the way people come together with a common goal 

Maybe it's the miracle that so many people have managed to stay clean and sober 

Maybe it's the energy of people wanting to recover 

Whatever it is 

It works 

And I need to stop fighting it

Stop digging my heels in 

And go with the process 

Easier said than done 

So yes 

I went to the lunch time meeting today

I didn't want to go

But my Mum offered to drive 

So I went 

The meeting is small but lovely 

I spoke last 

After the meeting 

A man came up to me 

And told me that I was doing great 

He told me to keep coming back 

And more will be revealed 

It was very nice of him

And he told me that before I know it

I will be helping others

I left the meeting on a high

High on life 

High on recovery 

Better than any drink or drug

What I took from today

Is that we need each other 

It's so important to connect with other people 

Especially those who are in the same position as we are

It's also important to have face to face connect 

Supporting each other through blogging is fantastic 

There is no doubt about that 

But we really need human contact too

We need to have a hug 

Have a chat over a cuppa 

And just be there for one another 

The world can be put to right over a cup of hot tea and a slice of cake 

Now 

The next time I don't want to go to a meeting 

I need to remember how good I am feeling right now 

And keep the momentum going 

I am feeling so grateful today 

Grateful to have AA in my life 

And to have friends within it

I'm grateful to be clean and sober

That my family are well

And in a good place 

I feel blessed to have this blog

And all of you my wonderful fellow bloggers

Life is good 

Life is sweet 

Let's live it to the best of our ability