Wednesday 6 April 2016

E is for Eating

And so we are on to the letter E
E for me 
Is eating
Eating is mandatory if you want to live
If you want to have energy
If you want to work
Play 
Work out 
You have to eat if you want the systems in your body to work
And work well
If you want to have healthy nails, skin and hair
Without eating 
Our bodies pretty quickly give up
And we die of starvation and dehydration 
Eating and feeding are one of the first things we learn in life 
As a baby 
Feeding is everything 
But for those of us with eating disorders 
Eating can be a tricky business 
Whether you have anorexia 
Bulimia 
EDNOS
The art of food and eating can be a mine field 

I love my food 
I really love my food
I don't rightly believe anyone who says that they don't enjoy their food
Food and eating are one of life's great pleasures
It brings us together 
To celebrate 
To party
To mourn 
To chat 
To put the world to right over a cuppa and a slice of cake
But my relationship with food has been rocky to say the least 
I love it 
And hate it in equal amounts 
At times over the years 
Food has been my nemesis 
I denied myself food 
Starved my body and mind 
I stuffed it with food 
Then promptly threw it all up 
I over exercised my body with not enough food 
I skipped family occasions becsuse I didn't want to eat 
I ate out of a bin
I ate food straight out of the freezer
I stole food from my family
From my house mates 
From shops and super markets 
Food drove me to the brink of insanity 

Now 
15 years down the ED road 
I have made a kind of peace with food 
I've had to
I don't hate my food anymore 
I don't hate eating 
I don't battle with food the way I used to
Now 
I try to eat three meals and snacks a day
I dont deny myself what I want 
I don't make my body purge as much as I used to 
I enjoy eating now 
I sit at the table now 
I used to eat in front of the TV
Mindlessly shoving food in to my mouth 
Now I take my time
Chat with my family 
It's a social thing also 

One of the most important things in ED recovery 
Is to keep eating 
Even when you don't wany to
When you don't feel like it 
When you are full 
It is so important to eat 
And keep it down of course 
Because once you start skipping meals and snacks 
It is a slippery road back down the rabbit hole
So I do it
I eat 
Because I want to be well
To be healthy 
To have energy 
I eat because for the first time in a long time
I want to live 
Because I now I can see they my life is worth living 
That there is life after an ED
And I do have a chance of happiness as well as health 
Right 
Speaking of eating 
I am off to have a ham toastie with relish
Lip smacking good.....!

5 comments:

  1. Ruby!
    I am reading your post and thanking God for you right now! It's exactly what I need to hear. I am trying to EAT and it's so frightening I barely know where to start...
    But I know I need to start somewhere because I don't want to go inpatient again. So... you have inspired me.
    Thank you.
    Keep going because you're gonna make it. I just know you will.
    I'm also doing the A - Z challenge! (On a different blog to my usual one!)
    leaving love
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad that this helped you today
      I need to remind myself of this too
      That eating is good
      Food is good
      And we need it above anything else
      You will get there sweetie
      I know you will
      Go easy on yourself
      Be kind to yourself
      You will be amazed how your life will change for the better when you start to feed your body x

      Delete
  2. Thank you for this! Today, I really needed the reminder that eating is good, healthy and normal. Hope you have a beautiful day!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so welcome SW
      So glad that this helped you today
      That makes my day! X

      Delete
  3. Hi, I am a USA citizen, am here to testify how i got my Ex back with the help of this God-sent called Dr Unity for the great things he has done in my life.. First of all i want to thank mareen for the post she made on how Dr Unity helped her in bringing back her lover. At first when i saw the posting i was so happy and in the other hand so scared,That this might not be real, Then i decided to give it a try in which i contacted Dr Unity and told him how my lover left me for another lady for the past 3years and i have been lonely and depressed without him,So i asked him if he has helped anyone called mareen and he said yes, that was the lady he helped in bringing back her lover. I said good and i told him that if he can help me in bringing back my own lover,He laughed and said once i have contacted him that my problem will be solved.He said that my lover will be back to me within 48hours, Truly when the 48hours was completed i got a text from someone saying am sorry, then i decided to call the number i saw it was my lover Steve voice.i was so happy he was begging me and crying on phone, That he is ready to do anything that will make me happy in life,So i told him to come over which he did,As he was coming he came with a brand new Car as gift. i am so happy today with the help of Dr Unity. He has proven to me that he is not going to leave me for another lady again and stay with me forever, Am so happy today and am also thanking mareen for posting this early.Dr Unity you are truly a man of your word. He can also any kind of sickness and he can solve any kind of problems in this world. Friends i believe Dr Unity is a man to trust and believe on. You don't need to cry anymore Dr Unity has been sent to clean our tears you can contact him on his Email:( Unityspelltemple@gmail.com or cell phone +2348072370762).

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for leaving some love x