Sunday, 29 May 2016

The Day of Rest

This weekend 
I am taking the opportunity to relax and get prepared for the start of my working week next Friday
I am in for more training Tuesday and Thursday 
Then my first live shift is the evening shift on Friday
That weekend is a bank holiday weekend here 
So I will be working Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday
These consecutive days will really give me a chance to throw myself in at the deep end 
And get stuck in 
Georgina keeps reiterating 
That this job is mainly about common sense 
I just hope I have enough 
I really hope I can do this 
And I haven't bitten off more than I can chew 
I feel like at the moment
There is a huge clock, counting down to my first shift 
D Day 
I am both terrified and excited to start work 
All I can do is my best 
And I will most definitely give it my all
If I can just hold my nerve 
And turn up for work everyday
I really think it will do me the power of good 
With my confidence 
Self esteem
I can't stress enough 
How important this job is 
I really think it will make or break me
But maybe I shouldn't put too much pressure on myself 
Maybe I should take it day by day
Shift by shift 
And go from there 

I went horse riding again yesterday 
I was on Princess
And was instructed by Roisin
For a change 
We went out to the outdoor arena 
As the weather was fine
It felt great to ride out in the fresh air 
I felt so free
Princess is starting to co-operate with me 
But I really need to work on my control of the horse 
We did a lot of trotting 
Jumped some small jumps 
And did a good bit of cantering towards the end of the session 
It was brilliant 
Every time I go 
I just want to do more and more 
I would do it every single day if I could 
It gives me a natural high
A feeling that drugs used to give me 
Except this is better 
There are no negative effects
It's good for me 
I am so grateful to have found something that I am passionate about 
That feeds my soul
It's also something to work at 
To progress and improve 
Something to work towards 
I can't explain to you how much I love it 
I'm actually surprised that I haven't found riding until now 
I guess dancing was my thing when I was younger 
And then I went off the rails after that 
So horse riding never really came up for me 
I've found it now 
And better late than never right?

That's really all to report for today folks 
Life is good 
I am good 
You can't ask for much more than that....


  1. happy days, enjoy! and yes 1 day at a time good advice for all of us, i m sure you are going to love working there ,jo xx

  2. Enjoy the rest of your weekend xoxo

  3. It is so nice to hear a positive post. I do understand your anxiety about returning to work, but I do hope it has a positive outcome? I recently returned back to work after a period of being off sick for four months so I could become a day patient at my local EDU. Everyone told me it would be fine and I knew it would be, but the anxiety still built up and I was terrified. I have to say while my first day went well, my second day went so much better, when you can finally get into the swing of things. Although with a new job I can imagine it will take more than just one or two days!! I do hope it goes well, I am not going to say it will be fine, because I also know how frustrating that can be. When you just want your feelings acknowledged and heard. Good luck and I look forward to hearing how it went!

    1. That's exactly it!
      The nerves are there
      And I just have to accept them
      Feel the fear and do it anyway
      I'm so glad to hear that your experience was positive
      I am lucky to have people who believe in me
      Other wise I would never do anything

      Thanks and good luck! X

  4. Hey ruby you're amazing! I started a new job too and it sucked BIG TIME for 6 weeks and very daunting but now I'm comfortable there and love to be there. I was extremely nervous at times but i rode it out and am fairly competent (but still learning). It's normal for everyone to be anxious. We all fake it til we make it to an extent. Chuffed for you. Can't wait to hear more. Xoxo shelby

  5. I don't think this job will 'make or break' you. It most definitely will not break you, at any rate. You're smart and capable, and you've survived a helluva lot worse than anything this job will throw at you. You can do it. <3

  6. I think you're over-thinking things a little. :) One day at a time! This job seems like a good fit for you in so many ways. I'm excited for you!

    The way you talk about riding horses seems a lot like how I feel about riding my bike.


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