Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Work induction

I'm just back from my first day of work induction
Myself and another girl were there to meet the manager
And to go through what we will be doing 
And our hours 
Most of my hours are at the weekend 
With one short evening shift on a Wednesday
So really and truly it doesn't interfere with my other activities 
I will still get to horse riding Wednesday morning
To my meetings 
And appointments 
Which is great
I'll be working about 22 hours a week
Which means my disability will be effected slightly 
But that's ok
I will get to keep the majority of it
I actually found out this week
That I can only earn €120 or less each week without my disability being effected
So that's less than ten hours a week
Which wouldn't be worth my while
Or my employers 
So any hours over that ten
My disability will be cut on a sliding scale 
I think it will all work out fine
I'm going to do the 22 hours
I think it will be good for me 

We were given so much information today
It was mind boggling 
The other girl there was a lot younger than me 
Early twenties I'd say
But we had a little chat
And she seems lovely 
Georgina is the manager 
And she is very firm but fair 
I like her a lot 
There is no nonsense about her 
She gave us a lot of possible scenarios that could possibly happen 
The holiday centre is a non profit centre for those who ordinarily couldn't afford a holiday 
It is run by a charity called St. Vincent de Paul
They also run a thrift shop
And an elderly care home 
I did the interview for the job back in February
And it has been a long process to get this far
But I am super excited to start working 
Georgina emphasised that the three things key to the centre
Are friendliness, cleanliness and good food 
She really gave us a great introduction to working there 
I'm back in on Thursday to meet the rest of the staff
We finished up at lunch time
And I seized the opportunity to have a quick chat with Georgina 
She needed my bank details and things 
And while we were doing some paperwork
She asked me if I thought it would be too much for me 
As I had explained to her the last time we met about my ED
And how I am in recovery 
I was honest with her
At first 
I felt a little out of my depth
This is my first proper job in quite a while 
And I told her it was a confidence thing with me more than anything else
Georgina assured me that she had every confidence and faith in me
And said I would be like a new woman by the end of the three months working 
It was nice to hear that she believes in me
I just wish I had the same belief in myself 
But I guess that will come in time

I really think this job could be a life changer for me 
If I can just face my fears and anxieties 
Turn up 
And give it my best 
I start officially June 3rd
So I have just over a week to get myself prepared 
I know I'm going to be nervous
Starting a new job is tough for anyone 
And throw in a few mental health issues
And an addiction to drugs
It could all go very wrong
But I'm choosing to be positive 
And to go in with a clear and level and open mind 
I know the first few shifts will be bumpy 
As I get used to their way of doing things 
But I know if I can just hang in there
It could be the making of me 
It could give me back my confidence 
That I so desperately miss
It could help me see that I am capable and able to work
It could even be a stepping stone on to more work 
I'm a hard worker 
And I love to be busy 
Love to be on the go all the time 
And this job will most definitely be busy 
Which will suit me down to the ground 

Because of the nature of the work
I will be dealing with vulnerable people 
People with mental health issues
For some people 
This will be their first holiday
People who might not be used to a structured environment 
Who don't eat three square meals a day 
We are situated on the towns main road 
So anyone can wander in
And it will be up to me to deal with these people 
I hope given the fact that I have experienced a lot in my life
Will help me to be empathetic 
And understanding 
But at the same time
I can't let myself be taken advantage of
Because I think I can be seen as a soft touch sometimes 
I was interested in listening to Georgina today 
As she is so friendly and warm
But at the same time 
I know she takes no shit from anyone
I would love to be like that 
And hopefully this job will help me find my own voice
My own inner confidence 
And self esteem 

Despite my anxiety though
I am going to do this 
I am going to go in with a positive mind set 
Anything I don't know 
I can ask 
And I think throwing myself in at the deep end is good for me
As then I have to figure things out
But you guys 
This is a huge deal for me 
My job will even be put through the books!
Something that hasn't happened to me in a long time 
My last two jobs were cash in hand 
But now I'm going to be a proper Bona fide employee!
How exciting is that?
I'm just so happy that I'm going to be able to fit in everything around my job
It's so very important to me
To be able to go horse riding 
To see my doctor 
And Breda 
And Mary
It's going to be a busy summer 
That's for sure 
But you know what?
This is it
This is me living my life 
Feeling the fear and doing it anyway
This is making huge progress with my independence 
And that is just wonderful for me 
Things are all coming together for me
And I feel alive!

Please say a wee prayer for me this week
I know all you ladies are behind me
And I appreciate that so much
Thank you
You are amazing!


  1. this makes me smile so much! definitely in my prayers. <3

    1. Thank you so much
      I need every one of them! X

  2. Keeping you in my prayers. I am so incredibly proud of you, most definitely bursting with pride! Sending you loads of love and hugs xoxo

    1. Aw thank you Annie
      That means so much to me
      And I am so proud of you too partner
      You are amazing! X

  3. you are amazing you will do just fine, always in my thoughts even if i quiet,love you lots, jo xxx

    1. I know Jo
      I know you are there
      Thank you for being such a support
      It means so much x

  4. What an ENORMOUS accomplishment, Ruby! And how wonderful that you've found really good people to work with. Being ready to work and finding a good place don't always happen at the same time! I look forward to hearing all about it.

    1. Thanks Tempest
      I will
      Of course keep you updated x

  5. You need to rearrange your thinking a bit. Your activities need to fit around your job, not the other way around.

    1. Have you got any idea where Ruby came from? what she has achieved is huge!!! You are talking from a point where you already have a normal life, where you already are healthy, ok? Please acknowledge what huge a step this is for Ruby!!!!!

    2. Thanks Julia
      For having my back
      It's true
      I have worked so hard to get to the point where most people start off
      It's not easy
      And I am trying my best x

  6. Your job is one of your activities. Each one is just as important as the next in your recovery.

    I am very happy to read this update. I was afraid the job has fallen thru. Have fun with it.

    1. I agree JJ
      Thanks for your support x

  7. This job sounds perfect for you. I really think you'll do well. Like you said, the first few days on a new job can be tough for anyone, but Georgina sounds like a really good boss, and the place itself sounds like a good environment. And the schedule is perfect as far as fitting in the other things in your life that are helping, like meetings and horse riding.

    You are smart and capable, and you have a huge wealth of life experience to help you deal with any punches the job might throw at you. It also sounds like you'll have the opportunity to interact with a lot of different people, and honestly that's something I envy. I'm in a small office, so I rarely get to see different people. It definitely makes for a more interesting day (and a shorter-feeling work day) when you have some variety. You better share any and all interesting work stories!

    1. Thanks Mich
      I think this job will be so interesting
      So many new people to meet
      I M so excited to start! X

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  9. CONGRATULATIONS! this is major step and I am so happy you are moving forward! please do not let anything and anyone hold you back! this job is fantastic, and you being able to let go of a (tiny) bit of your disability means (psychologically) so much more than you might be aware of. I know I have been critical sometimes, but this is so amazing, you are an incredible inspiration!!!
    lots of love, Julia

    1. Thanks Julia
      I appreciate it
      Yes you have been tough on me at times
      But I know it's tough love
      Thank you for your kind words
      I just hope and pray so much that this job will work out x

  10. congratulations, Ruby! this is absolutely incredible to read. i hope that you're able to gain that confidence that i think we all have in you. you've really built yourself up from where you were before. it's a little weird the things we fear sometimes because when you put it into perspective, it's not really as scary as we think it is. it's just the unknown fears us so much, when we should really be embracing it! a change every where you turn. life doesn't get redundant or boring that way, does it?

    i love you so much. and i can't wait to read more of what you've to do now and in the future!

    -Sam Lupin

  11. Woo hoo! This is so exciting! Very proud of you, my dear :) It sounds like you've found a way to fit everything in - never mind that anon complaining about your priorities.



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