Saturday, 27 August 2016

Post party....

My God
It's been a crazy few days 
It's only now that I am getting the chance to post
And make sense of it all
On Thursday night 
We had our staff party
We met up at a bout 7pm in a local pub
Where we had a couple of drinks 
You read correctly 
I did have a drink
I know I probably shouldn't have 
But look 
It's done now 
I can't go back and change it 
Then we headed to bingo
We went to bingo
Because the two housekeepers are leaving after this season
So we wanted to do something that they would enjoy 
I have to say 
It was great craic
Myself and Mary spent most of our time running up and down to the bar
I was on vodka and orange juice 
And people kept buying me doubles 
So as you can imagine 
I was well on it by the time we were finished the bingo
It was great though 
One of the ladies won €40
And one of the house keepers won €100
So we were delighted for them 
Some of the ladies left straight after the bingo
So there was just four of us left
and we headed on to a pub where a band was a playing 
Of course the alcohol was flowing freely 
I can only remember bits and pieces 
But it was great fun
And I was with good friends 

You know I wrote a few times about a crush that I had 
Well it was one of the chefs 
Who didn't come out with us that night 
His brother is also a chef 
And did come out with us 
At one stage 
One of the girls pulled me in to the loo
And broke it to me that my crush likes one of the other girls 
A very young 
Very tiny 
19 year old 
I have to admit 
I didn't not see that one coming
But thinking about it now 
I can see that my crush is more a good friendship more than anything else 
And maybe that is better 
I'm not heart broken or anything like it 
But it seems that the guys I like never like me back 
Why people?
Besides that 
We had a great night 
We danced 
We chatted 
We sang 
We took photos 
One of the girls even took a video of us dancing 
God forgive me 
If that ends up in a social media site 
I will go ape shit 

After the pub 
We walked up to the town
But I swear to God 
I don't remember a thing from that time until the time I got home
Not An iota 
Apparently we went to a night club
No memory of that 
We went for food 
No memory of that 
We walked one of the girls home 
Then I had to ring my mam for a lift 
As the taxis don't run at that hour of the morning 
I. Got home at 6am
What the hell I was doing until 6am 
I do not know 
At one stage during the night 
The chef asked me if I liked the other chef 
I have no clue what I said to him
But I'm hoping I didn't say anything about my supposed crush
I do however remember telling him about my drug history 
He was shocked to say the least
But I get like that when I have a few drinks taken 
My tongue becomes very loose altogether 
But hey 
I harmed so one 

Yesterday morning 
I got up at 11am
And my God I had the mother of all hangovers 
I haven't drank like that in years
Literally years 
I surprised I didn't pass out or get sick 
I got up 
Had a cuppa 
I couldn't face food 
And in fact I still couldn't face it today 
So I haven't eaten since Thursday 
Which is not good I know 
But I will have something this evening 
I then brought the dogs for a wAlk
Which cleared my head to a certain extent 
I came home And dozed on the couch 
Before I headed to work for 4pm
Sweet Jesus I was dying on my feet
And in fact I had to work an extra hour 
So that made the shift even longer
I got home last night 
And went straight to bed
Where I conked out like a light 
Then I had to be up today 
To be in work for 8am
It was not easy getting up this morning 
And I had another long day
Until 4pm
But in fairness 
The day went pretty quickly 
As we were so busy 
So I didn't have time to mull over things 
It was great fun today though
As we all tried to put the pieces of the night together 
There were some really funny momenus 
And the photos that we took are hilarious 
I really can't share them though 
As my others co workers are in all of them 
But I did post a couple of photos of what I wore at the end of this post

But yes
In all honesty 
I really should not be drinking 
Because I'm on a lot of Meds 
Because I have a history of addiction
Because I know I am a disaster area when I'm drunk 
As we said today 
We harmed no one 
We got drunk 
Any harm was done to ourselves 
I won't be drinking like that again 
It was a once off
Not to be repeated 
When my mam and my auntie came to pick me up 
They meet some of my work friends
It was so funny 
Because we were all so drunk 
But it was harmless fun 
Today I feel a bit better 
I'm more tired than anything 
I'm in work again tomorrow at 12pm
So at least I have a lie in tomorrow morning 
Then I have a few days off
A chance to catch up on sleep 
And lick my wounds regarding the chef 

Work is finishing up for me in a couple of weeks 
It's going to be very strange to have no job 
I'll miss it 
The structure 
The routine 
The money 
But mostly the friends I have made
There are some really good and sound people working there 
Georgina picks her employees well
She seems to be able to read people quickly and accurately 
I really have made friends for life 
I've had jobs in the paSt 
Where I dreaded going in to work 
But not this job
The holiday centre is a very special place 
And both staff and guests are a pleasure to work for 
I can remember Georgina saying to me at the start of the summer 
That I would flourish in this job 
And you know what?
She was dead right 
I have come on leaps and bounds in the last few months 
My confidence 
My self esteem 
My whole demeanour and outlook has chAnged 
And I Am so grateful to Georgina for giving me a chance 
Because that's all I needed
For someone to give me a chance 
And now I know I will be kept in mind if anything else comes up work wise 
I will keep in touch with Georgina anyway 
And we'll see what happens 

Apologies for being a bad blogger 
For not being as committed as I used to be
And my reading and commenting has left a lot to be desired 
But look
I'm not blogging because I'm out there 
Living my life 
Working hard 
Playing hard
And generally being on the go the whole time 
But that's good
It great 
I now have a life 
I have a job 
My horizons are expanding 
And my issues with food are very much in the background 
Which is nothing short of amazing 
Don't get me wrong 
Things are far from perfect 
But they are a hell of a lot better than they were 
I'm trying my best 
And look
I know I shouldn't have drank last night 
But I did 
And I will know for again not to have even one drink
Because as soon as I get a taste for it 
I can't stop myself 

I will leave it at that for today 
I am super tired 
So just going to flake out on the couch 
With a cuppa 
And watch The X Factor
What did I say earlier about having a life......?


  1. Glad you're being social. (And that you know to be more careful next time.)

  2. I've always been so fond of your shirts!!

    I think it's better you don't get involved with anyone romantically at work....things can go majorly wrong. Been there -_-

    Don't worry who that guy likes. It's not a reflection on you. It wasn't any kind of contest. He might like her for a whole host of other reasons, not just looks.

    Personally i couldn't think of anything worse than a 19 year old. Worst age ever!!!!

    Anyway you need someone mature/understanding.

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  4. Don't beat yourself up about drinking! You're allowed to let your hair down every once in a while, and like you said, no harm was done. You just had a bloody good time and I'm SO HAPPY for you that you did!

    You look stunning, absolutely amazing!

    So proud of you, such an inspiration.

  5. take care of yourself, love. you're so sweet and i know that you shouldn't have drunken but just take it as something you shouldn't done and you just have to move past it.

    you're looking relatively stunning (but when are you not?) and i just want to let you know that i'm thinking of you and i hope that you have a wonderful week!

    and eat something, missy. it is a tad bit worrying with you not eating properly. i hope that the purging has reduced and that you're able to eliminate it completely one day. again, i do want to say that abstinence from it completely might help with it.

    i'm so glad that the job has been gone for you.

    i want to let you know that boys will always be around. there will be someone for you. there is nothing wrong with you. it just takes a bit of time, and don't worry, you're still young. you'll find someone. just focus on yourself for now. <3 everything else will fall into place eventually.

    i absolutely adore you and i love how much you've accomplished. and never apologise for being a bad blogger! we love hearing from you, but if you blog infrequently then that's just fine by me! do what you feel is good for you :)

    -Sam Lupin

  6. First and foremost, you look effing amazing, and THOSE TROUSERS ARE FABULOUS I WANT THEM.

    I feel the same way about boys. The decent ones I end up liking want nothing to do with me. 'Tis very frustrating.

    You're in a good head space, it seems like you won't repeat the excessive drinking. Once in a blue moon I'll have a wild night like that, but it is truly rare. I think we all do sometimes..... I love my beer, but I don't like being drunk at all. I cannot lie. At all. And my friends know it. Once upon a time they'd make sure I got good and drunk so they could ask me things and be certain they'd get an honest answer. Most times, they were not happy with the results. I can be a bit harsh and blunt as well as honest.

    I'm glad you had a good time, though!! It sounds like a great night.


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Thank you for leaving some love x