Sunday, 25 September 2016

Before and after....

When I was at horse riding last week
One of the men called Pat 
Was asking me about my condition
You see the group I ride with 
Are called para-riders
Which means they have a physical condition or disability 
For instance 
Pat has multiple sclerosis 
Land in his case 
It effects the left side of his body 
So he has trouble walking 
Among other things 
Pat was asking me if I have MS
And I explained to him that I am recovering from an eating disorder
Namely anorexia and bulimia 
He didn't really seem to understand what that meant 
So on the spur of the moment 
I showed him a photo on my phone 
Of me when I was very unwell 
He was shocked to see the picture. 
I also showed Eilish and Fintan
Who were equally shocked 
Then when I got home that evening 
I showed my sister 
She said that it is a brilliant photo
If a little disturbing 
I remember when it was taken 
I asked my brothers girlfriend to take some photos of me 
To document that time in my life 
Most of the shots are of me in my underwear 
But the most vivid shots 
We're the ones of just my face 
I look like I have given up 
Like an old and very sad woman
Then I looked at photos of myself now 
And the difference is night and day 
It shows me just how far I have come 
I feel so sorry for the girl in that photo
She looks desperate 
Like she has been crushed by her illness 
And by life
Her eyes look dead
I am just so grateful to have made it out the other side 
To have survived
Here are the photos...


  1. You are so full of life now, and it shows in your smile and the light in your eyes. It has been a great pleasure and privilege to watch you grow over the last few years. I hope the next step in your life is as wonderful as your summer job was.

    1. Aw thank you Tempest
      For your kind words
      And your support
      It means so much to me
      You are a star
      And I hope you are keeping well x

  2. Wow, what an amazing transformation!! The first photo doesn't even look like you.

    1. I know!
      It's crazy!
      I look like an old lady
      So upsetting x

  3. You are just so beautiful right now! You have blossomed from your deathly cocoon into a stunning butterfly, so full of life from such an empty life. You actually look so much younger now too. In that first photo, there is literally nothing behind your eyes, but now, wow, you are sparkling wondrously! Love you to bits xxxxxxxx

    1. Thank you Annie
      I love you too
      Did you get my email? X

    2. Yes I did thank you so much, I will reply to you later tonight! X

  4. Jaysus! pic 1 - it looks like a mug shot.


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