Monday, 12 September 2016

They think it's all over...... It is now!

Greetings from a very tired but very happy Ruby
I officially finished up in work yesterday 
After almost four months of hard work
Work was a joy last week
There were only eleven guests staying with us 
So unlike other weeks 
I had the time to chat to them 
Get to know their names 
And their stories 
It was so nice to address each person by their first name 
And to have the craic with them
Leaving work is bitter sweet
I will miss work 
Especially the people 
Both my fellow workers and the guests 
I will miss the banter 
The structure 
The routine 
And of course the money 
I am just so grateful that my manager Georgina gave me a chance 
Because that's exactly what I needed 
For someone to take a chance on me
I did the interview for this job back in February 
Luckily I had two great references 
And I was offered the job straight away 
From the start 
Georgina said that I would be good for the centre 
And the centre would be good for me 
That I would flourish and blossom
She was so right 
Working has done wonders for my self esteem and confidence 
I am a new woman!
I feel capable and able 
I feel confident in my abilities 
And ready to tackle any issue big or small
Yes 
Work has given me a new lease of life 

So 
As one chapter of my life closes 
Another one begins 
I have a few options for autumn/winter 
On a Wednesday 
I am now doing a full day of horse riding 
Which is amazing 
And I look forward to it each and every week
I have also put my name down for a computer course in the local Womens centre
Then yesterday I heard a stables quite near me is looking for staff
Also I saw Breda this morning 
And she told me about a new scheme 
Where you are matched with a job that you are interested in 
And they train you over a four year period 
So that is another way I could get in to horse riding work 
So I have options 
And I am really looking forward to getting out there in the big wide world 
Hopefully doing something that I love
Again 
I am so blessed to have an amazing support structure around me 
Of family and friends 
And professionals 
I know that not everyone has that 
And I count my lucky stars every single day that I do 

In other news 
I don't know if I have already mentioned it 
But through horse riding 
I have met a new friend 
Over the last couple of months 
We have become quite close 
We travel together to horse riding every Wednesday 
And we talk on the phone most days 
He is a good bit older than me 
He is in his forties 
And also has a muscular condition that effects his lower limbs 
He is what they call a para-rider 
He really is a lovely guy 
And has become a very close friend 
He came out with us the evening of my birthday 
And gave me a lovely present of a photo of the two of us the day of my first dressage show 
But yes 
We have become firm friends fast 
But recently I have been getting different vibes off him 
Like he will tell me that I look pretty and things like that 
So I was speaking to him on the phone last night 
And all Of a sudden he asked me if I wanted to go on a date 
I guess the signs were there 
But I chose to ignore them 
I really like this guy 
But I don't have any feelings for him 
Not like that 
Although pArt of me wishes I did have feelings for him
It would make this situation a whole lot easier 
But unfortunately 
The course of true love does not run smoothly 
So I had to tell him in a very gentle way 
That I valued our friendship above anything else 
And I didn't want anything to jeopardise that 
And I really meant it
I think sometimes a friendship is more special than a relationship 
He took it very well
And agreed with me 
I actually think that he felt he had to ask me out 
Because he did seem quite confused as to what was happening between us 
But in glad I set him straight 
At least now we know where we both stand 
But hey 
It was flattering to be asked 
And to be complimented too
To be honest though 
I don't think I am anywhere near ready to have a relationship 
I am just getting to a point where I feel comfortable with myself 
I don't think I could handle having to deal with a whole other person 
I'm sure it will happen at some point 
Just not now 

So yes 
Exciting things are happening 
I turned 35 last week
Had a lovely birthday 
And was utterly spoiled
Tomorrow is my mams birthday 
And her turn to be spoiled
My Dad is staying with us indefinitely at the moment 
He just can't really be left on his own at the moment 
His MND is getting worse 
And he is also battling a very painful back condition 
So far it's going ok 
And he is behaving himself 
I guess we just take each day as it comes 
And deal with it that way 

So that's it from me for today 
Now that I am not working 
I hope to have more time to blog
To read yours 
And to comment 
My writing really differed this summer 
And I really felt disconnected from you all
But now is my chance to throw myself back in to it 
I guess it's a good sign though 
That I have been busy living my life 
And do didn't have the  time to dedicate to my blog 
I even considered stopping blogging altogether 
But now I see that that is just the way
Life goes sometimes 
On that note 
I will bid you good day 
From a cold and windy Ireland 
See you in the next post....

5 comments:

  1. So very proud of you and all that you have achieved this year. I truly cannot wait to hear about what adventures you get up to next now that this job has come to an end. Onwards and upwards partner. Love xoxo

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  2. Personally i would have probably thought long and hard about this guy. Good men are very very hard to find and he obviously accepts you warts and all.

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  3. I'll check back for your decision on horses vs. computers.

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  4. It would be so much easier if we could make ourselves fall in love, but unfortunately life never works out that way!

    I'm glad you had a nice birthday.

    Hope your dad can get well. <3

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  5. reading your last post made my heart fill with warmth. i am so glad that you got to run in with the girl at the shop and explain all of that to her. sweetheart, you are a good person. you really are and i am so proud of the courage that you had when you told her. that's my little Ruby getting herself some bit of confidence now, is it? as should be! i hope that things are getting easier with food and your esteem as well. i hope you're able to breathe a little more every day because that's exactly what you deserve.

    happy belated birthday, sweetheart. i've missed it by quite a few days! nearly a week it is, but ah well.

    i'm so glad that the centre has helped establish so much and the horse back riding! i'm glad that they've given you a slice of life that you can fully appreciate. because that is what you deserve. you deserve a life that you can be proud of.

    things will happened in due time, you know. i think us humans have a fault in that we're naturally impatient. we want things now. we rush things and hinder them. you know, the fast driver that ends up having a wreck, delaying him for hours? if he'd driven slow, that wouldn't have been a problem! very applicable to a lot of situations when it comes to how we tend to think. a lot of things that we rush on about we don't really /need/ to rush for. i'd love to learn how to take my time with things. maybe things would be easier then.

    you deserve to be spoiled, you! you've risen from ashes like a pheonix. *coddles Ruby*

    hope i've not said anything to deserve you. unfortunately, i'm not really in the headspace to be rereading posts. i'm just not as attentive! so i hope i've not said anything awful or offending.

    love love love you



    -Sam Lupin

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Thank you for leaving some love x