Friday, 16 September 2016

The next chapter....

So work has finished up 
And I am in the look out for some work or a course to keep me occupied
And to keep my brain ticking over
Wednesday's are now completely dedicated to horse riding 
I head out to the riding centre at 10am
And I stay until about 3pm
I have my first lesson at 11am
Where I am in my usual group 
With Fintan and Pat 
I love our little group 
There is much piss taking and joking 
We just really enjoy the riding 
And each other's company 
It's a very supportive and caring environment 
I love it 
Then from 12pm - 1pm
I take a break
Have a cuppa 
And watch the next lesson
Helping out here and there 
Then at 1pm 
I have a private lesson 
Which is much tougher than the group lesson
I say tough
It's more challenging than tough
But I love it 
I love to be pushed 
To try and reach whatever potential I can 
In the group lesson 
I Am usually last in line 
So Star literally follows the horse in front 
And I have very little to do 
But in the private lesson 
I am the only one in the arena 
So Star is depending on me for signals and instructions 
These horses are smart 
They respond to the trainers voice 
All she has to say is 'Right, shorten up your reigns'
And the horse will immediately perk up and get ready to trot 
It's amazing really 
These are working arena horses 
And they know the routine inside out 
They know to canter at a corner 
They now trot means trot 
They know from my squeezing my knees that I want him to speed up
This weeks private lesson went a lot better than last weeks 
Last week I couldn't get my canter 
And I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong 
So with a canter 
You start with a trot 
You shorten your reigns 
Get in to a nice rhythm 
In complete control
Then as you approach the corner 
You sit in to the saddle 
That is the signal to the horse to speed up 
They say 'Sit in'
And from the get go this confused me 
I mean what exactly does that mean 
To me 
Sit in sounded like they wAnted me to sit in to the front of the saddle 
But that didn't really make sense either 
So then another rider explained to me that sit in basically meant sit down in to the saddle 
In other words stop riding and trotting 
But even knowing that 
It's still hard to know when you are doing it right or wrong 
A lot of it has to do with feeling 
Feeling the rhythm of the horse
And knowing when to sit in and canter
But look 
I am still very much a beginner 
And am probably overthinking the thing anyway 
As Eilish my trainer said to me 
I have learned in a few months what most people learn in years 
And what keeps me going 
Is when it all works out 
And Star goes in to a beautiful canter 
That feeling 
When it all comes together 
Is just priceless 
And makes all the frustration and confusion worth while 
Canter around the arena twice non stop 
Truly enjoying it 
The speed 
The power 
The utter joy it brings me
It's freakin' amazing
I wish I could bottle that feeling 
And take it out whenever I want 
I live for Wednesday's 
And the chance to ride 
To spend time with my friends and the horses 
To Pull on my riding boots and helmet 
To get a leg up on to Star 
To smell the sharp scent of horse manure 
To kick Star on and start warming up
To hear the squeak of the leather as he walks 
To tell him he's a good boy 
And give him a rub
To sit up tall and straight 
And instruct him to trot 
To get in to a rythm that feels smooth and effortless 
To speed up in to a canter 
And experience the buzz of the speed
Then to dismount 
And peel off my helmet thats damp with sweat 
To treat the horses with a carrot 
And then have a hot cup of tea with friends 
And talk about the lesson 
I love it 
I love it all

For lack of something to do 
I put my name down to do a computer course in the local women's centre 
I went for the interview today 
Which was the shortest interview I have ever done in my life 
They gave me a break down of the course 
And to be honest guys 
It's very basic 
And stuff I would already know
It's really for absolute beginners 
But still 
I am keeping an open mind 
Breda my counsellor also told me about a course starting soon
They is a rehabilitative course 
Which matches you up with something you have an interest in 
Trains you 
And provided work experience for 20 hours a week 
Over four years 
I really liked the sound of this course 
So I rang Breda today to tell her I am interested in starting it 
I am anxious to get the ball rolling 
As there are only ten places on the course 
So my next step is to call in to Breda Monday morning 
And fill out the forms 
Lost them 
And meet with the course coordinator 
So hopefully this will work out 
As I could ask to be placed in a stables 
Or animal sanctuary 
And of course I would be happy out in either of those places
All I can do now is wait 
And as you know 
PAtience is not a virtue that I possess 
But I'm going to have to suck it up 
This course makes me excited though 
The thoughts of working in a stables is just a dream come true 
And hopefully I will get to ride too from time to time 
I just hope it works out for me 
Keep your fingers crossed for me...
In other news 
I Am doing well
I miss work and my friends 
But I will keep in touch with them 
And call in to them regularly 
It's nice to have more time to myself 
But I know I will get bored if I don't keep occupied 
And when I get bored 
I tend to get in to trouble 
The devil makes work for idle hands and all that 
But I have options 
So that is good 
And I trust and believe that the right thing will happen for me at the right time 
ED wise 
I am going ok 
It's never going to be perfect 
I still struggle with purging from time to time 
But I am eating well most of the time 
My mood is good 
I feel stable and strong 
I feel no urge to lose weight 
Or to change myself in any great way
I have no idea what I weigh 
And I don't wAnt to know 
Ignorance is bliss in my opinion 
My clothes fit 
Therefore I am presuming that I've not gone over a size 8-10
Which is a healthy weight for me 
And as they say 
If it ain't broke 
Don't fix it 
I hope to blog a bit more now that I have some free time 
And of course to catch up on yours 
And generally become an active member of our community again 
As I fear I have neglected you some what 
But that's life for you 

I want to thank you for still reading 
And got being there for me 
It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful the people here are 
This community means a lot to me 
You mean a lot to me 
And we need each other 
For support 
For company 
For friendship 
I love each and everyone of you 
To the moon and back....


  1. Well, if the computer course is this easy, I think you should try the animal sanctuary. (That's my two pence.)

    1. I think I will EM
      Thanks for your two cents x

  2. Life certainly is up and down and sideways too :)


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