Sunday, 9 October 2016

Introvert or Extrovert?

My sister lived in Australia for 12 years 
And came back to live with us a couple of years ago
She was going through a hard time 
Battling depression and anxiety 
And wanted to be at home 
Personally 
I was delighted she came home 
As I get on very well with her 
But I did notice a lot of changes in her 
She had a lot less energy 
And she craved quietness and warmth
We live in a bungalow 
But we have two bedrooms renovated upstairs
And my sisters bedroom is one of those 
She calls it her 'Nest'
It's very silent up there 
And warm 
And she regularly retreats there to have a nap 
Or to watch something on her laptop
Sometimes I get texts asking me to go up and visit her 
And often I'll get in to the bed with her 
I enjoy the coziness 
But that's where the similarities end
When I get up in the morning 
The first thing I do is turn on the radio 
Often times I turn it on while snoozing in bed 
I like the radio 
And it's constantly on here at home 
However 
When my sister comes in 
The first thing she does is turn off the radio
I like it because it's background noise 
And it takes me away from my own thoughts 
Which may or may not be negative
I like to have something else to focus on
To take me away from myself and my own little worries 
My sister can't stand noise of any kind 
And craves peace and quiet 
Anyway 
Where am I going with this?
Yes 
My sister posted a pic on FB about extroverts and introverts 
And the difference between the two
She identifies as an introvert 
And that got me thinking about what I am 
I definitely don't fit neatly in to one category 
I guess like everyone 
There are times when I am an extrovert 
And times when I am an introvert 
As I tend to be pretty quiet around people i don't know 
And louder and more gregarious around people I do know 
I also tend to find it easier to talk to strangers for some reason
I think I can put people in to categories 
I was bullied for a while as s child 
By girls from the rougher and tougher tech school 
This school was near my house 
So I passed these girls every day on the way home from school 
It was nothing serious 
Mainly bitchy comments 
A few pushes
They tried hard to scare me 
And it worked to a certain extent 
But ever since then 
Girls like this have made me feel uneasy 
What girls?
Well girls who are rough 
Loud 
Often very pretty
And definitely intimidating 
I can identify them immediately 
And I revert back to being that scared school girl 
Because of this 
As a teenager 
I often sought out boyfriends and friends who were the male equivalent of these girls 
So I had someone on my side 
And I may even be accepted by said girls  
As some of you will know 
Bullying can really damage self esteem and confidence 
Before these incidents 
I was well on my way to becoming an extrovert 
But that wasn't to be 
And I ended up the way I ended up 
But now 
I put people in to categories 
And that's not a good thing 
Everyone should be equal 
And it would be nice if that were always the way 
But it's not
At least for me anyway 
Now I am an extrovert trapped in an introverts body 
I would love to be myself more 
But often I let shyness and lack of confidence swallow me up 
This is one of the reasons I love blogging 
As I find it much easier to communicate through the written word 
Rather than speaking
But I guess a lot of people are like that 

So 
With all that said 
And I have covered a lot in this short post 
I was wondering about you 
Do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?
Are you a bit of both? 
Have you been bullied love me me ?
How did it effect you in later life?
Answers on a postcard please....

5 comments:

  1. My immediate thought was that I am an introvert, but then when you put near the end of your post that you are an extrovert trapped in an introvert's body, I think that might be me too? I cannot stand noise, I am super super sensitive to it, even to my own speaking voice I feel too loud, too much, and yet when I sing, I am such an extrovert, I feel so free. I can't spend too much time around people, it is exhausting and I need to retreat to my own little sanctuary of safety, and yet I love spending time with the people I love. I think overall I'm an introvert. I used to see that as a bad thing, but I don't any more. It's an interesting thing to think about, thanks so much Rubs! Xoxo

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    1. Yes Annie
      I can relate to that so much
      I guess it depends on the situation and the company
      When I feel comfortable enough to be myself
      It's just freeing to be me
      But I know I can shut down very quickly too

      So glad you are still blogging partner
      I lov following your progress
      It's so inspiring!! X

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  2. I think I'm an introvert pretending to be extrovert. I'm quite obnoxiously loud socially but i crave time alone and i can't stand the tv blaring. But my mask is definately extrovert. I feel they are blending together sometimes nowadays which is good, but i hate revealing my overly sensitive nature publicly :/

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    Replies
    1. I guess it can be like armour in a way
      Just like the way I can be quiet
      You might feel the need to talk and be outgoing
      I used to think that being quiet was a bad thing
      But now I know different
      It's perfectly ok to be a bit on the quiet side
      Just as it is to be a bit louder
      The world would be a boring place if we were all the same...... X

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