Friday, 19 August 2016

Bad blogger

Yes
I have been quite the bad blogger lately 
But in one way it's good
It means that my real life is full and busy
Instead of writing about my life 
I am actively living it
I do aplogise though
For not replying to comments 
For not keeping up with your blogs 
And for generally being MIA
It's hard to believe that the summer season is nearly over 
The town I work in is a seaside town 
So the population explodes during the summer
And is like a ghost town during winter 
As they say 
You have to make hay while the sun shines 
So everyone tries to make a buck while they can 
It seems like five minutes ago that I started working 
And now it's nearly over 
I can't lie 
I am really going to miss it
The people 
The guests 
My co workers 
The structure 
The routine 
Not to mention the money 
I know that I need to be smart 
And have things lined up for autumn 
Whether that be another job
Or a course
Something to keep me out of trouble 
As we all know that the devil makes work for idle hands 
Georgina has told me that if something comes up 
She will keep me in mind 
So I am grateful for that 
I really have done my best to be a reliable and hard worker 
As I often say 
It has taken me a lot of hard work
To get to the point where most people start off 
Just to get to the starting block
I've had to fight my way through the maze that is addiction and disordered eating 
Just to be the same as everyone else 
But hey 
That's life 
Some people just have to fight that bit harder 

Although things are going well
I still have a lot of work to do 
Especially around my intake 
If crisps and peanuts and chocolate are junk food 
Then I pretty much survive on junk food 
I can't lie 
I don't eat enough fruit and veg
In fact I don't eat any fruit at all 
At work 
I have what ever is going 
Which could be anything from a fry to bangers and mash 
But hey 
At least I'm eating 
No? 
Well
I'm still alive 
So I must be doing something right
But this week
I had a sudden panic that I had gained too much weight 
I have nothing to base this information on
I don't have a scales 
And my clothes still fit 
Do really I have no evidence to support this 
It's nothing more than a feeling 
So I think I'm going to ask my doctor up weigh me on Monday 
Just to ease my mind 
Is this good idea?
I don't know 
I guess I will find out on Monday

Anyway 
This was just a little post 
To let you know that I am here 
I'm ok 
I'm alive and kicking 
Working 
Living life
Loving life 
Making mistakes on a daily basis
But learning from them too 
In looking forward to closing one chapter of my life 
And starting another 
I'm excited to see where life takes me 
It never ceases to amaze me the direction that life takes me 
And I am blessed to have wonderful people around me every step of the way 
I love it!!!!

3 comments:

  1. It's good you're staying busy.

    I never eat fruit ever because I can't stand it.... I try to take a multivitamin instead.

    I would strongly recommend against the weighing. Even if your doc doesn't give you a number and just answers yes or no as to whether you gained, that could ruin all of the progress you've made the last few months. Remember last time with the weighing/scales--you didn't so much as fall back down the rabbit hole as dive in headfirst. Especially if you're still purging; you don't want to do anything that might derail your recovery. That's my two cents anyway...

    Hope you are well. <3

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  2. So proud of you! Love you loads <3 xoxo

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  3. No! don't weigh!
    keep your sanity, fight the thoughts :)
    you're doing great, don't ask the scales for their blessing, ask the people who matter

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