The art of haggling and other stories....

As today is our last day in Istanbul

We devoted most of the day to shopping

Buying gifts and keepsakes for ourselves

First we headed to the spice market

Where we loaded up on different spices

We went to stall 51

Where Rick Stein went making his most recent cookery and travel show

For anyone that doesn't know

He is an English chef

Who made a show recently 

About cooking from Greece to Istanbul

Anyway

After taking many photos

See below

We braved the Grand Bizarre 

Which is the largest indoor market in the world

With 4000 shops

It employs 30,000 people

Thankfully it wasn't too busy today

We stocked up on gifts for family and friends

As well as a couple of things for ourselves

I bought Turkish slippers 

And a Turkish bathrobe

All for very little 

It was an amazing experience

Everywhere you go 

People are shouting at you

Asking where you are from

And do you want to buy what ever they are selling

As they will give you 'special price'

For 'special lady'

If you showed the slightest bit of interest in their wares

They literally pounce on you!

We had a very interesting experience in one of the many scarf shops

It was the first shop that we showed interest in 

There were two guys working there

I touched one of the scarves 

And he went in for the kill

He brought me in to the shop

Draped the scarf beautifully around me

I asked how much

He said 110 Turkish Lira

As I began to leave the shop

He knocked it down to 90

Then 80

I refused and said we would be back

And as we walked away

One of the guys followed us

And dropped his price to 70

At the end of the day we did go back

The same two guys gave us a great welcome

Brought us in to the shop

I wanted to buy one

Mum wanted to buy a couple 

And my brothers partner also wanted a couple

The two guys sat us down 

And displayed beautiful scarf after beautiful scarf

The guy dealing with us had quite good English

So we spoke in Irish amongst ourselves 

Which became very confusing indeed

Suddenly 

The guy asked us if we wanted apple tea

We said yes

He rang someone on his phone

Two minutes later someone arrived with a little wooden table

And erected it in the middle of the shop

Following that

A tray with six Apple teas

I swear it felt like we were in that shop forever

He said he would give us the four scarves for 270TL

So we agreed to that 

He packed them for us 

And we headed out

But just as we were leaving 

He called my mother back

And offered her one more scarf for 40 TL

So in all

We ended up with five scarves for 310 TL

And given they were cashmere

It was a bargain

Below are photos of the day

Hope you enjoy 

And you get to experience a little bit of Turkey...

Last day in Istanbul

Today is our last day in Istanbul

Tomorrow we are flying to Ephesus

Today we are dedicating to shopping 

In the spice market

And the Grand Bizarre 

So that should be interesting

Part of me is sad that out holiday is nearing an end

But another part of me is super excited to go home

Especially to see Honey and Lea

As I have missed them so so much

Here in Istanbul

I've seen very few dogs

And the few I have seen have been panned out on the ground asleep

They don't look very well cared for

They are skinny and malnourished 

On the other hand 

There seems to be an endless amount of cats here

They are everywhere

And people seem to be really nice to the them

They feed them 

And don't shoo them away

They are pretty well looked after 

Yesterday

My sister and I went up to the main shopping street

And I found H&M

And Topshop

I decided I would go in to one rather than both

So I chose H&M

Where there was a sale on

I bought a top

And some lounge-y type pants

I've gone way over my budget

But isn't that what holidays are all about?

Anyway

Here's a few photos....

The scales are following me....

We were in our hotel room the other night

After a long day of walking around the city

Our room is small for three people 

There is a double bed

For my sister and mother

And a kind of loft bed for me

Up a little ladder

Even though the room is small

It is perfectly formed 

And they have made the best use of the space

There is plenty of storage

And that what we were looking at the other night

Opening all of the drawers and cupboards 

Having a good ol' mooch

When my sister shouted 

'Look at this'

She pulled what she had found from the drawer

And set it on the ground

Yes, you've guessed it

The dreaded scales

Cue menacing music

Don don doooooon.....

God dammit

Even on my bloody holidays

I can't get away from the scales

My sister stood on it first

And let out a shriek as she registered the number

I won't tell you what it was

As she might read this

And could possibly kill me

Even though I really wanted to stand on n it too

I resisted 

But just knowing it was there

Was driving me to distraction

I tried to forget about it

I really did 

But after having a shower that night

I pulled the scales out 

Tapped it to set it 

And gingerly stood on it

The flashed

It was in kilos

I registered the number

And stood off

I gave myself a minute to gauge my reaction

Waiting for onslaught of self hatred and misery

I haven't weighed myself in about 6 weeks

The number was high

There was no doubt about that

It was a number a was not comfortable with

But to my surprise

I stayed calm and relaxed

The number didn't effect me in the way that I thought it would

There have been times in the past

When I weighed myself 

And curled up in a ball

Naked

And weeping

There have been times when I saw the number

And literally had a physical reaction to it

But today?

Today I felt

Well

Nothing

This morning 

My mother and I went to the pharmacy

To pick up a couple of things

We were just waiting for the pharmacist 

When out of the corner of my eye

I saw another set of scales 

OMG

They are everywhere!

And they are out to get me!

I ventured closer to it

And wondered if anyone would protest if I stripped there and then

And stood on it 

I figured they would 

So instead

I stood on it fully clothed

Something I hate doing

Again

I registered the number

The same as the scales in our room 

And again

Felt nothing 

This is a new revelation

And one I'm not entirely comfortable with

Because it's different

It's new 

It's change

And as well all know 

ED girls do not do very well with change 

My body image is not great however

Taking photos here has been a bit of an ordeal

Eight out of ten times

I look at a photo 

And absolutely hate it

And take it again

Until I am happy 

Or at least semi happy with it

Take yesterday 

I know I posted quite a few photos

But they were the best of a bad lot

There were so many others taken that I just couldn't beat to post

Because my face looked fat

Or my arms looked fat

Or my toes looked fat

Or something looked fat

There were photos of me with horses

Photos of me beside the pond

Many photos of me with my family 

That I just could not post

Which is sad really

But I think most people want to present the best image of themself to the world

And I am no different 

The ones I posted yesterday

Just barely made it on to my blog

I still can't look at them

I just post them 

And forget about them

Apologies for not replying to comments while I am away

Normal service will resume when I return at the weekend 

Also I need to catch up on your blogs

So I will also do that when I get home

I hope you are all doing ok

I know our community spans the whole of the ED spectrum

Some of us are still struggling

Some of us are embarking on recovery

Some of us are somewhere in between 

Some of us are anorexic

Bulimic 

EDNOS

Or a mixture of all three

We are all struggling one way or another 

All fighting for a better life

For a brighter future

And we will get there

I have so much faith in every one you

I truly do

So please 

Today be kind to you

Be gentle to you

Because you are an important and valuable person 

To your family 

Your friends 

Your blogger family here

To us and them

You are precious

Don't ever forget that 

Sights and sounds of Turkey...

My oh my, we have been busy little bees today

We got an early start

And were out of the hotel

Washed, dressed and fed

Before 9am

We got the Tunel Funicular to the Kurokoy tram stop

And from there to Sultanahmet 

First stop was Topkapi Palace

Which was the former home of the sultans

Where we queued for an hour

But we did get to see an 86 carat diamond at the end of it

Was it worth the wait?

Mmmmm not quite sure

Next stop

Hagia Sophia

Which is one of the worlds greatest architectural monuments 

We wandered around for quite a while in there

It was so nice to go inside 

And feel the cool breeze

As the day was so very hot

We then went to the Basilica Cistern

Which is a vast underground water system

Built by the Romans in 532

It was really impressive

Below ground 

And held up by 336 columns

It was so dark

The only light from a few lamps

Lighting up the water

And the huge fish in there

Anyway 

Enough with the words

And on to the photos....

Day Off

I'm taking a day off today

As in not venturing out in to the city 

And retiring to the hotels roof top terrace 

To read and catch up on sleep

And generally do very little

The past few days have been so busy

I just need a day to catch up on myself

So I will be refreshed for the rest of the holiday 

I told my family they I was taking a day off

They expressed concern

That I would overtake my meds

And possibly OD

My sister actually used the word overdose

They said it was not like being at home

They it would be a huge deal if I got ill here

Or something happened with my meds 

There have been days when I took no meds this week

In an effort to stay awake 

And keep up with my family

So today I have more meds left than I need

This morning I decided to take one days methadone as normal

And two days tablets 

Not too much

But just enough to make me slightly sleepy

I know what you are thinking

I am in one of the most exciting cities in the world 

I shouldn't want to miss a thing

But I think it's fair enough to give myself one day off 

Isn't it?

Another thing about Turkey

Everybody smokes 

And I mean everybody 

Old 

Young 

Men 

Women

All religions 

All nationalities 

Even children 

I swear I saw a group of eight or nine year old kids all with cigarettes in their hands

Puffing away 

So I'm guessing that cigarettes are very cheap here

And also it just seems to be part of the culture

It's just what people do

It's the done thing 

But honestly

I haven't had a smoke craving yet

Like the ones I've had here 

I've literally been gasping for a cigarette

Even dreaming about the damn things

It just looks so relaxing

Having a smoke with a tea or coffee

Having one after a meal 

With a drink at night 

It just looks so tempting

But so far

I have resisted 

It seems that my second year smoke free is proving more difficult than the first

I guess during the first year

I was full of motivation and gusto

And now 

Well it's just becoming like hard work

Anyway 

The cravings go as quickly as they come 

I just need to ride it out

As I said in previous posts

The poverty of this country is very in your face

I went out for five minutes this morning

And was accosted no less than four times in those few minutes

Twice by children

And twice by girls

My sister and I were sitting having a quick coffee 

They come straight up to you with their hands out 

Literally begging

It's really difficult

Because part of you wants to give them something to help

But another part of you knows that If you do give them something 

They will see begging as a source of income 

And continue to do it

As wel as using their children

Which is blatant exploitation

I know when I was living in Dublin

There were a lot of homeless people on the streets

I knew if I gave money 

The majority would use it on drugs no or drugs 

So I used to give them food

At least then you know what you are giving 

Both parties win

I love being in a city

I love the hustle and bustle

The constant noise

And this city doesn't seem to sleep at all 

I live in the country

So this is a complete change of pace for me

But I love the extremes 

The silence to the noise 

It reminds me that there is a whole world beyond my four walls

A whole host of countries and cities who are as different as they are similar 

It also reminds me that I am but a mere speck on the canvas they is this earth

This life

I am not that important 

I'm just another person

Another body 

Trying to figure out this thing we call life 

And it reminds me that I am very lucky

To live in a county where men and women are treated equally

Most of the time 

A country where I can get a good education for next to nothing 

Where I can be free to be me 

Whoever that is

Gay 

Straight

Bisexual

Trans 

I have the freedom to do and say what I like 

When I like 

Where I have the comfort of being part of the middle class

Most of my problems are first world ones

And ones that can be solved 

I know I am blessed

In so many ways