Now that I am feeling a bit better
Mentally and physically
My ED may be playing havoc
But
I am human
My thoughts have once again turned to love
You might recall the date I had last summer
My first and only date in years
It didn't end in happily ever after
But thats ok
It was good experience
And still
I continue to believe that there will be a happy ending for me
Love wise
I'm a big believer in love and romance
Nothing excites me more
Than reading or hearing about a great love story
I don't believe there is one person out there for us all
I believe there are many that could potentially be our perfect match
And even in my darkest hour
I always believed I would fall in love at some stage
I don't really think I've ever been properly in love
My first boyfriend was puppy love
My next relationship was drug fuelled
Love had nothing to do with it
Since then I've had a couple of short term relationships
But no
I don't think I've ever truly been in love
I don't know what that feels Like
Or looks like
But I do believe that I will know it when I see it
And I believe it will happen for me
Sooner or later
There is someone
Someone I've had my eye on
I've seen him a few times in the garage where I get my petrol and car repaired
I know his first name
As I heard someone calling him one day
But for now
I will call him The bearded one
As he has a beard
I'm starting to see that I like a beard in a guy
As long as it's well kept and neat
Anyway
I don't know this guy
Don't know anything about him
I'm just going on basic human attraction
And the feeling I get from him
The last time I bumped in to him
I could sense him looking at me
So I'm hoping he has checked me out too
Right
This is my dilemma
I get such a good feeling from this guy
I like the 'gate' of him as my sister would say
Meaning you like the look of him
So
Should I be a modern woman
Be proactive and ask the guys in the garage for his number?
Take a leap of faith
And make the first move
Or should I frequent the garage every day in the hopes I run in to him?
Or do I leave my number in the garage for him?
And let him do the work
I don't know you guys
I am so rusty and out of practise with things like this
But a huge part of me thinks I should just go for it
I mean
What's the worst thing that could happen?
He could say no
And my ego would be bruised
But at least I would know that I gave it a shot
And won't be wondering what if, For the rest of my life
Because
The truth is
That I would love to meet someone
To share a life with
For company
Some one to do things with
Someone to love
And who loves me
I think it would be great for me
As it can he lonely being 34 and having no one to share things with
I would love to have another body
Another pulse
Another heart beat
So I know I'm not alone
And I don't have to face life by myself
I guess because I don't drink
Or frequent pubs or clubs
It's a little harder to meet like minded people
There is online dating
And I haven't really given that a fair shot
So that is something to consider
But I would love to meet some one the old fashioned way
Call me a hopeless romantic...
I guess also
I was ill for so long
That a relationship wasn't even on my radar
It isn't even an option when you are too busy trying to kill your self
And I didnt want to drag any body in to my world of shit
But now
Even though my ED is in a precarious state
I think I need to continue to live as normal a life as possible
And who doesn't love a good love story?
So
Friends
Here's where I need your help
You are my girls
My besties
And I value your opinion greatly
What do you think I should do?
Take control of the situation
And ask about this guy in the garage?
Wait until I run in to him again?
Let nature take its course?
Or leave well enough alone?
Maybe you have another idea
Something I haven't thought of
Whatever you think
I would love to know
How I wish I could invite you all round to mine
And we could chat over hot cups of tea and scones
And put the world to right
But really
Let me know what you think
I'd love to know....